“So let me clearly realize first of all that what God wants of me is myself. That means to say that His will for me points to one thing: the realization, the discovery, and the fulfillment of my self, my true self, in Christ. And that is why the will of God so often manifests itself in demands that I sacrifice myself. Why? Because in order to find my true self in Christ, I must go beyond the limits of my own narrow egoism. In order to save my life, I must lose it. For my life in God is and can only be a life of unselfish charity.

…God’s will for us is not only that we should be the persons He means us to be, but that we should share in His work of creation and help Him to make us into the persons He means us to be. Always, in all things, God’s will for me is that I should shape my own destiny, work out my own salvation, forge my own eternal happiness, in the way He has planned it for me. And since no man is an island, since we all depend on one another, I cannot work out God’s will in my own life unless I also consciously help other men to work out His will in theirs.

…The most important part of man’s education is the formation of a conscience that is capable of seeing God’s will in this correct light, and guiding the response of his own will in strong, prudent and loving decisions. So to live is true wisdom.”

-Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

:: fun ::

Friday series inspired by SouleMama
“{this moment}: A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.”

AHHHH!!! My bestest friend had her TWINS last night! I haven’t gotten the details but I’m soooo excited.
Going to her today in the mail are some baby products I love, including my roommate’s product from her new etsy business (drum roll please):

Soothing Bambino Bottom from my roommate Lacey
This stuff is fantastic. And just because I live with the gal who made it doesn’t detract from it’s fantasticness.

Description
For you mamas out there that want your little bambinos to have the best of the best even for their bums! This is a concentrate that can be added to pure distilled water and used as a spray for diaper changing time. Spray the cloth or directly onto the skin. The combination of pure vegan castile soap, organic cold pressed jojoba oil and SEVERAL organic therapeutic grade essential oils, makes this the best wipe spray you can get. Lavender and Bergamot soothe and calm the skin, tea tree helps to disinfect and all the other oils help this spray to be calming, healing, and so effective! You can also use this in bath time to create a calming and decadent bath time for you or your precious bambino. I only create things I would use myself, and this is definitely one of my favorites!

4 oz in a 100% Recycled and recyclable plastic bottle that is effective in deflecting light to protect the contents of this bottle.

Directions: Shake bottle. Add 1 TBS to 4 oz pure water. Put into a small spray bottle and use as needed for diaper changes, cleaning and washing your little one.

So forgive the product endorsement, but seriously, mamas and those who know mamas should BUY this stuff.

Nuf.Said.

Do not ask me to successfully think, move, sleep, or otherwise function properly until absurd temperatures of over 100 degrees cease to exist – at least not without first COexisting with this newfangled device called air conditioning. Newsflash: I am not a fan of stickiness. I love the sun, but not when it scorches me from the walk outside to feed the chickens. No, not so much. This is insanity at its best. This must end. What gods must we offer sacrifices to in order to bring rain to this dry forsaken land? Huh? HUH? What, you want my baby green tomatoes, the first fruits of my labor?! TAKE EM!

Move along, Summer. Bring it, Fall! On with the chilly nights, the apples, the corn, the harvest parties – not to mention the days with more than 6 hours of darkness…

If the sheer idiocy of this post does not sufficiently prove that this heat is crazy-makin’, I don’t know what else will.

Kindly,
Mama.

Is that too harsh of a description of children? Or perhaps too soft? lol

Verity letting me know that she has the hiccups, so PUT DOWN THE DARN CAMERA!

Here is a snapshot of a very common day:

This morning I awoke to my son telling me he went into the trail mix and dumped the whole bag out in his room. I nursed, changed, and dressed Verity, then Ethan sang to her while I got dressed (this is our morning routine). I put her in her moby wrap so I could manage making breakfast for us. I worked a few hours while Ethan ran a circus in my room, pulling off my bedding, dropping rice cake crumbs everywhere, and finding my stash of cough drops so he could incessantly ask me if he could have one while giving his best phony coughing.

At long last, we ventured out to get out of the house, something I TRY to do the middle of each day, be it a homeschooling “field trip”, or storytime at the library, or (since we are on “summer break” from homeschooling while Verity is little) – a simple park adventure.

A coffeehouse called Posies opened around the corner 2 weeks ago that I’ve been excited to try, so we headed there first for some iced tea on this very sunny day. Upon arrival, Ethan’s eyes grew wild and hopeful as he points to a chocolate muffin in the pastry case. Being in good spirits, I make my first mistake. I tell him he can have the muffin if he firsts eats a sandwich: Almond butter, organic jelly, and whole wheat bread- $3! This place is pretty rad! OH- and I should add that they boast a small kids playroom with GLASS WINDOW for viewing your rugrat darling while in the comfort of the semi-quiet, cutesy seating area. Talk about MAMA-FRIENDLY!

What follows is a tale of “I don’t LIKE this!” and “I don’t want to eat the CRUST – EW!” and so on- the rantings of a spoiled 4 year old whose random bouts of pickiness with food hits at the most inopportune times! I repeated 100 times that he needs to finish the darn sandwich, my blood pressure is rising while Verity is not fully sleeping, kinda half crying but not wanting to nurse and Ethan is smearing almond butter across his face and subsequently his forearm to “clean” his face.

Things escalate to me having to take the muffin to go (because I made the mistake of paying for it in the beginning and he is clearly NOT finishing this sandwich!) and Ethan standing on his chair SCREAMING and CRYING that he wants the muffin and “PLEASE DON’T LET DADA EAT MY MUFFIN, THOUGH!!!!” I remain calm on the outside (you know how it is) but take him to the bathroom for some stern reprimanding while I have to literally bite my knuckle to keep from screaming myself. AHHHH! The stress of children. I tell Ethan that I cannot handle him today and we are going home, not to the park as planned. And that we are not leaving this bathroom until he stops crying. (Smooth move, emotion-coaching mom. Note the sarcasm.)

Ethan hangs his head low while we leave the restaurant. He loads himself heavily onto his bike to go home. A woman compliments his “cool bike” and I ask him to say “thank you” but he won’t. I ask him why and he says, “I can’t say thank you right now, I am just TOO sad.”

Okay, my heart is softening at this point. Yes, a minute ago he was screaming at the top of his lungs about a muffin. But now he is my little boy who not only doesn’t get the muffin, he doesn’t get the park either. Okay, okay. I can do this.

At the light, we could turn left to go home, or right to the park. I tell him to go right. When we are literally IN THE PARK, he stops and asks what we are doing there, “I thought we were only going home?!” We talk it out. We talk about him behaving poorly in the restuarant and not always getting what he wants. We talk about me getting too stressed about it in the bathroom and how both of us made mistakes but we can work on it and we can still love each other. He holds my hand and tells me he loves me so much. I feel so proud of him.

We spend two hours at the park, me sitting with Verity under the shade of a big tree. She loves the sounds and sights and just stars off quietly into the blurry space around her. Ethan strips down to his shorts and runs around in the water works, chats up other moms until they have to ignore him- as usual, and rides his bike around the trail in front of me. At some point I cave with the muffin too- we split it under the tree – I weigh the experience of enjoying the muffin with him for the poor nutrition and inconsistent parenting. Oh well. Ya do the best ya can, right?

Back at home, I am typing while he is taking a shower with his toys, he has been in there 45 minutes with some sort of imaginary story and lots and lots of singing going on. I love him. He is so unique, he tries so hard, and we expect so much of him. But he is a really, really awesome kid.

And how lucky am I? I’ve now got another one growing up into a great kid too. As I write, Her Half-pint Highness is sound asleep in her wrap with her mouth hanging open, and I can only imagine all of the mistakes she and I will make with each other and all of the conversations about behaviors and forgiveness we will have.

Okay, I guess I’ll wrap this up since its approaching 1000 words, sheesh.

Verity’s first “cooing” is happening this week.

And so are backyards.

Let’s see, where to start…

I was gone, but now I’m back. Sort of.

The battery-whats-it-thingama-jig on my laptop shouted its final “Hoorah” Tuesday night, so I’ve been sort of MIA for a few days (until last night, when I received a loaner laptop from a wonderful company I work for — God bless ‘em!). It’s been a few long, soul searching days…

Still in the funk of it all, kinda, well it’s hard to explain. Isolated would be one word. But only one. Misunderstood, insecure, questioning, worried… there are more words.

Oh, life.

Anyway, sorry so cryptic, just not really ready to articulate the happenings of my heart tonight.

Beautiful weather around Portland (ah hah: clever topic switch to weather – nice!) has blessed us with a weekend to plant. We’ve got roughly 30 or so tomato starts, 5 cabbage, 2 broccoli raab, onions and scallions to get in the veg bed ASAP. We hope to plant a few other things this weekend if I can bring some of our tomato starts to the neighborhood plant swap tomorrow and exchange our abundance of tomatoes for some more variety… peas, corn, pumpkins, squash would be nice!

The veg bed was dug out by a 7 month preggo (no, not I said the fly! I was slightly GINORMOUS at the time so Lacey- bless her hard workin heart- got the project underway) and now we are pooling our energy and muscles together to get new, slightly healthier but much more expensive topsoil and compost BACK into the “pit” before it rains and washes our 2 yards of delivered DIRT down the driveway.

The 12′ x 12′ “Pit”, approx. 3′ deep (reminds me – any body watching “Parks and Recreation? Hilarious.)

Old Dirt, complete with weeds, seeds, debri, and weed gaurd.

New Dirt, complete with wet clay and rocks that are heavy as he**.

Ethan collects worms and slugs for the chickens…such a BOY!

Verity naps from the shade of her sun hat… such a GIRL!

So, again, I am very thankful for the weekend. Not that I will be doing a bunch of shoveling, however. Nope. I tried, I really did, and I sort of made some progress on the early stages of the venture. Just before my fractured/whatever rib cage SCREAMED AT ME and I realized my limits. I suppose I did have a baby 2 weeks ago, maybe I shouldn’t push a wheel barrow that weighs more than I do back and forth across the yard? Probably a good call. Anyhoo; no, the guys will handle this one and us gals will do the gentle planting stuff. Much better plan!

Speaking of babies – there are some pics below. (I couldn’t decide which one so they look kinda the same. If you print them out and make a little booklet and flip through it really fast, maybe you can make a little old fashioned home movie!) She’s sporting a crocheted hat, a handy talent of Lacey’s younger sister.

She is sleeping great, nursing great, just, all, well, GREAT! And since I’m not coughing up hairballs all night, I am also feeling- physically anyway – bran (?) spankin’ new! It’s amazing how quickly the body recovers the second time around.

Okay well, I’ll be back to write more when there is more to write about. Chow for now.

me – possible pink eye? (so disgusting- nothing screams sexy like a body that gave birth 6 days ago and eyes that are red and sprouting green goobers!!!)

Baby/mommy-wise, doing well.

Laptop cord no longer charging my laptop, so I’m on my last 10 minutes of battery before it craps out and I have to figure out how to afford and go get a new one. I’ll see what I can do and hopefully be back soon (esp since I need to start working this week- an impossibility without a laptop!)

Keep us in your prayers!

Verity, 1 day old

Mama and the babe

Camera shy?

As corny as it is, (but that is just SO what you should expect from me by now), all I can say about her is captured in a clip from Elf LOL

Other than that: Holy crap. My body hurts all over

Thank you every one for the prayers and comments and support. When going through the hardest part of my labor, I knew that the little twitter updates Chris had done that morning were alerting you to pray for us and I felt like I could hear the cheerleading getting us through it! I can’t believe we did it (and I mean, seriously, I CAN’T believe it), I’m SO glad it’s over and that we are now holding our tiny baby girl. It was such a different labor experience from Ethan’s and I will blog all about it when it all sinks in!

I will not be on the laptop much, trying to “lay in” with Verity and recover, but Chris reads me your comments and emails (between caring for our sick son and bringing me food and drinks and medicine all the time). I am SO proud of him, ya’ll – you guys should have seen him. I literally clung to his neck and hung from his body wailing from like 9am to Verity’s birth that afternoon. I have no doubt his back and arms are as sore as mine right now! He’s my hero!!!

So after 9 days passed due, Vivian went into labor first thing this morning, by 2:30 was pretty sure she was in labor. The midwives came at 4am and found her 5 cm. Within a few hours, she was 8cm! But, then, she stayed that way for another 6 or so hours! Verity was posterior, causing Vivian a lot of pain and doubt (and noises). Just when we thought we couldn’t go on, the midwives asked us to go take a shower and be alone. I held her while she wailed and all of a sudden, the bag of waters finally popped. Vivian pushed Verity out, with an ARM by her head, in less than 5 minutes (and didn’t tear!) I was able to catch her myself and cut her cord. She was very quiet and wide eyed, so sweet.

Verity Rene is HERE! She was born on April 28th, 2009 @ 3:42 p.m. She was an even 8 lbs of baby girl who did not want to come out because of her hand that was on her head and her being in a posterior position. Her gestational age according to her newborn checkup was 41 weeks!

Right now mama and baby are resting while I am blogging.

This was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. How did my wife do it?!? I was able to be there for her 100% for the first time in my life that I could remember. I was given the blessing of being healthy while my healthy girl was born. To be there and support my beautiful, gracious wife, was a gift from God! Just like Verity! I was able to catch Verity and cut the cord. WOW! As you can tell, this is one powerful experience that I was able to have in my life that I will never forget. I am holding her right now..:)!

Just after I caught Verity!