Things were a little busy last week – we spent a lot of time with new friends, helped build a really cool barn style chicken coop (ours is going up next!), had a lovely day in the country (Ethan skinny dipped for the first time!), had my first Arkansas tick experience (ew!), then went immediately into prep for Chris’ big spanish style birthday shindig. We made 20 pounds of pulled pork, slow cooked for 2 days in a crock pot with lots and lots of garlic, limes and adobo. We had about 4 gallons of slow cooked black beans and rice, along with a big beautiful salad, fresh bread, lots of plaintains and even mofongo! The event was a great excuse to spend time with family and food!

Here’s some pictures of the event and other happenings this week (along with some fun pics of my dreads, now 3 months old )

So speaking of family, festivals, and food: This is the title of one of my very favorite books. I picked it up when Ethan was about 2 years old and began to gravitate right away to what I learned about Waldorf celebrations. Lately I’ve been reading more and more books and listening to training workshops, all in preparation for something I have yet to tell you guys about but when I do I’ll be so happy to share with you all!

So, today was a rough day. I am fighting a cold, Chris and I are both very tired, Ethan and Verity are both incredibly high needs and the noise level is constant! Not to mention that I have lots and lots of work to make up and I highly doubt I will finish it all. With sore throat and ears ringing, I felt impatient and unnerved today – two things I really don’t like about myself, I must admit. I remember seeing this video recently of a Waldorf home-based educator who said that when she notices the energy of the children getting really rowdy, she first checks her own breathing. That came to mind today, as I strove to check myself as a potential contributor to the wild pent-up rainy day boredom energy of the kids.

So instead of raising my voice for the umpteenth time (working on it!), I told Ethan to be still and silent as much as he could while Chris took Verity off on a drive to fall asleep. While this was happening I made a pot of “Quiet Child” tea from Mountain Rose Herbs and the “Best Oatmeal Cookies” from that well-loved go-to book: Family, Festivals, and Food!

What you can’t experience over this screen is just how tasty and warm these simple little things are. Things are feeling cozier and quieter already…

Well, if you’d like to try them, leave a comment about something you use to help ground yourself or the kids on an everything-is-going-wrong kinda day. Next week, I’ll pick a winner randomly and mail you my extra copy of this book! In it you will find seasonal activities, recipes, verses and songs, and stories for your family to celebrate the year.

I’m up after a loooooong nights sleep (guess I needed it!) still sitting in the dark in my room while Verity sleeps. She needed it too. You see, when she was trying to explore the possibility of biting my nipple yesterday, I had to pop her off and react to the pain to convince her to not try that again. She got wigged out. For about 5 hours she cried and wailed and started to nurse but then remembered my reaction and pushed me away. We laid in bed at midnight, her wailing, tired and hungry, while I just tried to coo at her and pray for her. Finally she fell asleep and so did I. When she woke up through the night, she nursed like a champ. She just needed a little sleep to ease the pain and confusion.

It works that way for us adults, too. The random thoughts and fears that my fatigue surfaces is often long forgotten when I wake up in the morning. Mercies are new.

I’m not enjoying the start of this year, I must admit. It’s put so much on my plate that I am really missing the simplicity of our days – doing some lessons, play, crafts, baking bread and working a few hours when Ethan goes to bed. The predictability and daily rhythm we were beginning to achieve at the end of last year has be upset by the upheavals that planning and moving creates.

An impending move away from Portland weighs on my mind. Part of me wants more time. I want to watch the tulips come up in all my familiar places. I want to sit outside working during the summer while Ethan and Verity and Caleb and Malachi play in the dirt and kiddie pool and get toasty. I want to crunch the leaves when we go trick-or-treating at familiar neighbors. I find such healing in the changing of seasons (something Florida did not offer me) and I hope that our “next place” will feel like home, and quickly! I am determined to put myself “out there” when we move. Ethan wants to know who our neighbors will be, and dog gone it we will bake them something and go introduce ourselves. We’ve already contacted a church we’d like to check out and are searching for home school groups, counselors, etc etc that we will have to find to keep ourselves from being “new” and isolated.

I tell myself it will be just a couple of years. I will look forward to seasons changing in a different area of America. It’s not that big of a change. Serenity tells me to accept, but my stubborn and fearful heart constantly quivers about starting over. Being present with my concerns helps, but sometimes I crave a distraction. Simply NOT thinking about it is a lofty goal

More work has come in this week, which helps. Work reminds me that life is still happening in the margins of all these big plans. Having something to focus on, and finish, is it’s own meditation.

The family and I took a break yesterday and went to see “The Princess and the Frog” – was way cute to see a Disney fairy tale set in New Orleans and the bayous (where my families are from and mostly still reside). While I am not a fan of Disney (at all!), it was nice to just go be entertained by a Cajun musical with Ethan while we split some popcorn. He loved it. I threw up the popcorn later but all in all it was a good outing. (My body was just pissed that I ate so much junk.)

Speaking of eating – oh my – this has been a pleasant moment or two to my days. I haven’t been able to pick up the knitting so reading is my next best escape. I’ve devoured some amazing books on nutrition and cooking. I don’t even know where to begin about that but yeah- let’s just say that I can’t wait til we move (there’s that word again!) and get settled in so I can start cooking my little heart out.

Now that I’m thinking of food, my tummy rumbling is reminding me that I haven’t had my tea and eggs yet. Must go!

More details soon, as plans shape up…

Our Puerto Rican style Christmas Eve was a great idea this year. We began baking the 21 pound turkey we didn’t get around to at Thanksgiving, along with a 5 pound pork, on Tuesday night. I can’t tell you how many garlic cloves I used that night. At least 30. Anyway, once all the good saucey Adobo mess was slathered on, the meats began slow cooking overnight while I finished some handmade gifts. Christmas Eve morning we saw a smattering of snow on the ground and again began cooking, this time to the groove of a salsa Christmas CD. The pernil asado was to die for – nice and salty and garlicy and limey, mmmm… And the turkey came out great too – falling off the bone to reveal the slivers of garlic shoved into the meat, the stuffing of ripe plaintains/rum/dates/cinnamon, and studded with olives. I also made arroz con gandules but had to come up with an old school method for achiote ( sauteing the annato seeds in oil) for yellow seasoning, so that came out kinda bland and not very yellow. I also couldn’t get the thawed (because they weren’t supposed to be!) alcapurias to stay together, lol, however the pasteles Chris’ aunt made were boiled to perfection. I also fried tostones (green plantains, fried, flattened with a plate, fried again and dashed in salt) and maduros (very ripe plantains sliced thick and fried for juicy sweetness). Chris made homemade Coquito which was, well, I had way too much anyway!

We had a great time relaxing with friends over our Christmas Eve meal (Christmas Eve meal is the big one for Ricans, traditionally – that’s what Chris said anyway!) We also have TONS of leftovers that we keep picking at.

After Christmas Eve early dinner we headed to Evergreen Christmas Eve service. Ethan sat intently the whole time, very interested in this gathering. He also was a total STAR (I’m his mama, I can brag) of the “I Saw Three Ships” children’s “choir” – oh he was a riot and had all the moves down pat. Later we drove (yes, our own little christmas miracle- a couple went out of town for 10 days and left us use of their vehicle! thankyoujeebus!) through Peacock Lane to look at lights.

Back home we read some books and left out Santa’s snack, while Ethan hurried to bed. I had the notion that I’d stay up again to 1am like I have been for weeks to get the last minute gifts done- I need to knit something for the waldorf doll I made him and stuff and sew up the knitted gnomes. That didn’t happen. lol I gave up and knew he would be just as happy to watch me knit “Coby” a sweater this week — (that’s what he has named the doll – who he’s carried with him all day and slept with and made best friends with his favorite stuffed animal, the dragon “Scorch” – I can’t tell you how sweet it is when they love the toys you actually MADE with your own bare hands. It’s so special!)

This morning felt very lackluster for me. For one thing, my cold took a turn for the worst (sugar and lack of sleep will do that to ya!), so we didn’t make it to the christmas morning brunch we had planned with some friends. However, Ethan was very excited to open his gifts from us: a ton of new wooden “people” and accessories, a waldorf doll with a hammock, pillow and sheet, thai yoga/lounge pants, an old fashioned locally made wooden Top in his stocking with a large all natural candy cane, a few colors of wool roving and a needle felting kit, a kids’ first knitting needles set, and some new chapter books; Charlotte’s Web, Mary Poppins, and Little House in the Big Woods. From grandma he got a cd player with a cd story book of Little Bear, and from an aunt/uncle he got a Go Fishing game. Verity made out with her new blocks we made her and a wooden rattle and BabyLegs from grandma.

While we were trying to find room on the camcorder to record this morning’s happenings, we came across Ethan’s first Christmas – piles and piles of wrapped presents and battery operated whats its. He was 5 months old! It was crazy to see that in comparison with how simple and even elegant Christmas has become for us: good food, good people, a few special gifts under the tree. Very sweet times.

Despite that this morning I was tired and cranky and felt no spark of magical Christmastime that I always have on previous Christmas mornings, I’m still delighted to see the kids enjoy this day. We had our traditional cajun beignets and mimosas (just OJ for the little guy – another novelty), and all three of us took a nap through the afternoon! Right now Ethan and dad are curled up on the couch watching Polar Express and he is sucking away at his candy cane. We are stuffed from leftover turkey and pasteles and eager to get back into bed on this chilly night.

Well, my matcha tea is calling, along with MY Christmas present – the book “Heaven on Earth” which I can’t wait to dig into! So I will bid you adeiu.

Merry Christmas, my friends. Let the Epiphany festivity preparations begin!

Today is Dec. 6th, St. Nicholas Day, and as a family new to celebrating all of these wonderful Waldorf festivals, our day was quite an unconventional “festival”.

We awoke to make pancakes and playdough/cookie cutter ornaments for gifts and our own tree. Then we got out the Christmas boxes and adorned the tree, which Ethan was finally just old enough to be very excited about. He was so happy to put the star at the top when we were all done.

After our “exhale” of rest for quiet time, Ethan awoke to a snack and watercoloring images of St Nicholas while I sat with him and made a St. Nicholas doll out of wool felt, white wool roving, and a walnut (for the head).

Then it was dinner time, and we needed to FEAST! So Chris and I got busy in the kitchen and made up a new tradition and recipe for St. Nicholas Stew which we’ll look forward to every year because it was FANTASTIC!

And here it is for you:

1 onion, chopped and sauteed in plenty of butter and/or coconut oil, with spices: pinch of cinnamon, curry, cloves and nutmeg. Stir on low heat until onions are transparent.

Add:
4 cups organic free range chicken brothe
2 cans of diced tomatoes in garlic
4 pressed garlic cloves
1 tbsp of fresh diced ginger
2 large tbsps of natural peanut butter
(And give or take a nice selection of the following chopped vegetables:)
3 carrots
1 sweet potato
1 rutabaga
1 leek

Simmer until soft (20 minutes?)
Add (chopped):
1 cup kale (we used red russian- but whatever you have on hand. The red helps maintain a red/orange look to the soup)
1 cup cabbage (again, we used red. We just happened to have all these veggies in the fridge and needed to use them up, lol)

While that is simmering, add 1 can of Coconut Milk (not light) and salt and pepper to taste

The result is almost like an asian panang curry which was delicious and hearty on it’s own but could also be poured over soft brown rice! MMMmmmm… (optional: we also used half a slice of a very spicy pepper while simmering, but be sure to take it out before you serve!)

Tonight’s bedtime story will be the story of Saint Nicholas, a man who brought nuts and candies to hungry boys and girls in the night.

This week we’ll be making hand dipped beeswax candles to store up for the Solstice celebration, as well as beeswax polish for Ethan to finish off some natural “branch” blocks Chris will be chopping up as a Christmas gift to Verity.

I’m loving the holidays as a time of preparation and anticipation of the returning light, as well as craftiness and quality family time. I continue to work in the evenings when I get spare time on the kids’ Christmas gifts, including wool waldorf knitted gnomes, floor puppet waldorf dolls (for the nature table) and a larger waldorf baby doll (12″ probably), a waldorf hammock for the doll, as well as pj pants for both kids. Then there’s so much to do for gifts for others, some freezer paper printing and we need to ship – however will I finish it all? (Psst… it’s okay- I’m having too much fun with it anyway!)

Happy St. Nicholas Day!

Since there are a teeny tiny few things on my mind between work this week, I will fill you in on what exactly those things might be.

First, YOGA. MamaZen (and if you scroll the pics, I’m actually in a few of them, can you guess who I am?) Have you heard enough about them yet? Well, in 3 weeks doing their practice 2 times a week and a home practice daily, I have lost 7 pounds. Yes, I’ve also been eating a highly nourishing diet like I described here. With some cookies on the side Anyway, I love them (mamazen). I’ve been feeling myself grow more strong and toned, which is a boost to the self-confidence after your body is wrecked by childbirth! My energy and spirits have been up, which is a very good thing given that my daily life with the kids, work, and marriage in recovery is DRAINING to say the least. Here are some of my favorite poses that have been helpful in conjunction of course with a rhythmic breathing through holding the poses (til I am burning and sweating and think my muscles can take it no longer ) These images are from the “sequence” I built using the handy home practice builder on yogajournal.com.

Second, speaking of energy and spirits (no, not THAT kind. Though a good mojito now and then doesn’t hurt), I will be adding some essential oils (PDF) to the family’s general well being very soon. Young Living, if you haven’t read all about it over at the experts blog, aka my roomate Lacey, is a therapeutic grade oil (as opposed to basic aromatherapy oils “over the counter” whose process of refinement destroys most if not all of the medicinal properties of the original plant). I’ve been using Lacey’s stash here and there with excellent results and lately benefited even further from the essential oil “adjustment” the yoga instructor gives everyone while in Savasana at the end of the practice. Since the weather is turning and having certain oils burning in the electric burner have been a major relief for us battling seasonal depression through the winter months, I’ve decided to get a few from Young Living for skin application that are meant to aid in processing emotions, so on. I’ve encouraged Lacey to write more about this line in her blog so keep checking her out for the real low down

Next on the list: skin. I’ve been hoping for some skin change since eating such reduced carbs and sugars, adding anti-inflammatory foods, and practicing yoga. I’ve been drinking tea each day with beneficial herbs (like dandelion root to support the liver and a few others) and of course doing the plethora of probiotics found in kefirs and kombucha. While I noticed my skin was not getting WORSE, it wasn’t getting too much better (yet, I mean its only been 3 weeks though!). But here’s where things get interesting. I remembered reading about an anti-inflammatory, anti-bacterial raw skin mask you can make at home from raw unfiltered honey and spices like turmeric, cloves and cayenne. I hadn’t tried it yet but while in Chicago my colleague and I were talking about raw honey and she pointed out that she has a one week shelf life, refrigeration only honey mask she finds at Lush. Sure enough its got those ingredients in it. Back home, I’ve been doing this mask once a day and holy crap. In the morning my skin is more moisturized, exfoliated, even-toned and smooth. Raw honey is known for doing all these things and more (healing scars, killing germs, so on), so I’m not surprised that it works, just how GOOD it works. So note to those of you who have any sort of skin problem! Try the Vivian raw honey/turmeric/cloves/cayenne skin mask!

As we proceed further down the list: Upcoming events. Tomorrow the homeschool group gathers at our place for an apple themed meet up. In honor of the theme, everyone is bring potluck items featuring apples in the ingredients. Today Ethan, Caleb and I juiced 5 pounds of organic apples, adding fresh ginger, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg and allspice, and popped in the water kefir to start brewing batch of amazingly healthy homemade sparkling apple cider. With the pulp from the juicer I made a quick apple bunt cake and topped it with a homemade pumpkin cream cheese icing. All sweetened with only raw honey, of course. I also have several pounds of apple chicken sausages to cook up in the morning for our guests.

Tomorrow evening is family movie night, this one being kinda special. We’ve been promising Ethan a viewing of the Disney version of Alice in Wonderland, complete with an “Unbirthday Party” with cake and tea. Saturday is a friend’s 5th birthday party at the pumpkin patch – very exciting. I could go on but since there is like an event ever single day this month, I’ll save all that for another post, or two!

And speaking of family, every one is doing pretty good. I don’t want to speak for Hubby because he does have his own blog, after all, lol, but suffice to say that he has been having a hard time. He newly began therapy which has been intense, while trying to start his own business and feeling less active since not riding his bike to and from work each day. He’s had low points in his recovery lately which is difficult for us, but at the same time we are talking more and he seems to now be working harder at staying where he needs to be emotionally and spiritually. We had a yoga class together earlier this week that was really fun too!

Okay, well back to work. I’ll post some pics this weekend after some of the festivities…

Sometimes I read something on a blog or in a book and I think, wow. One day, I’ll write that good. Cook that good. Be that funny, endearing and interesting. I think that when I read Kathleen Norris, or Annie Dillard, or Ann Lamott.

It’s fun to be in my twenties, as long as I continuously recognize the fact that I’m a noob at life for most intents and purposes. I feel like a wobbly kid walking on that balance beam at the playground that is actually only a foot off the ground. On this blog, I write about all the crazy and ordinary shenanigans and ideals I get myself into and I don’t spell check or edit or draft – I just lay it out there. People think their whole childhood about being a “grown up” and what they really picture, or at least I did, is being in their twenties and thirtees: what job you will have, who will be your spouse, what cute little kids you will have, what your house will look like… then BAM! You’ve arrived! Look around – this is what you’ve pictured as being “grown up”! And then the kids start to age and EEK, so do you. The future, being the mom of older kids, being a mid-lifer, or older, seems a million miles away.

Sometimes I meet some woman who is passed her 20’s and 30’s and I realize it must be rather grand. I met one last week at knitting- a sarcastic, fun, energetic mom from church. Or I’ll read someone’s blog who strikes me as being very comfortable in their own skin, or very at peace with life, and I begin to look forward to growing older, wiser, more seasoned and secure.

Blogs like this. I read Karina’s Kitchen from time to time and its like listening to the rambles of the mom figure I’ve always wanted, lol. She’s gifted in the kitchen, gifted with words, spunky and unapologetic in her humor. I like her. So I’m passing on her blog, for those who haven’t read it yet (if there are any of you left?) because maybe seeing a woman like this age so gracefully in her demeanor will inspire you too. Doesn’t it just make you wanna live life to the fullest, whatever that means for you?

(Doesn’t it also make you wanna bake some muffins?!)

Since my internet connection has been rather spotty tonight, I wasn’t able to get you some pictures of our camping trip due to long uploading times. One of the things I thought about a lot while camping was the way in which intentionally eating well was HARD. Camping, I found out, is considered by many to be like vacation or holidays- as in, no holds bar on crave eating, lol. I had brought only healthy things that for the most part adhered to my “whole foods” diet, (and some creamed raw honey to curb my sweet tooth!), but I still felt at the end of the trip like I was a bit bloated just from the bread for sandwiches, etc. I found people were curious as to why eggs, butter, sausage, etc was okay for me but not things like marshmallows or diet coke or french toast, so I had the opportunity to share how I’m trying to eat to get healthier (losing weight a plus). Aside from what I thought was a pretty healthy diet already, I’m doing more to add nutrient-dense, whole foods and cut, well, the opposite! In addition, I’m going to be using herbal teas to support my vital organs (to clear out and support things like my liver, hoping to also see my skin acne improve).

Anyway, with all the curiosity I decided to post something I had come up with to give me meal plan ideas and so on. It’s an example of what foods would be consumed on an ideal day in my diet. (And I don’t mean diet as in “South Beach” or “Watch Watchers” but in the traditional sense of the word- i.e. “the food I eat”.) I’ve done an okay job with some of these for about a year now, and I’ve gotten more focused about it in the last week or so. This week I plan to be truly intentional because I’m feeling my body saying something like, “I need support; mayday, mayday!”

Example of my ideal diet:

Breakfast:
• 8 oz. homemade raw milk kefir smoothie blended with organic frozen fruit and 1 tbsp of raw unfiltered local honey
• 1 slice of bacon cooked in coconut oil in cast iron skillet, a poached farm-fresh organic egg (yoke unoxidized / runny) on top of a bowl of quinoa and kale, along with a variety of seasonal sautéed veggies(squash, mushrooms, green beans, onion, sweet potato, etc.), sprinkled with nutritional yeast (for a vitamin b complex, etc) and topped with local hot sauce (peppers are anti-inflammatory)
• 6oz. organic fair-trade coffee, 2 tbsp’s whole raw milk

Lunch:

• canned tuna or wild caught salmon (with bones and skin) on salad of leafy greens and veggies, with homemade dressings like EVOO and vinegar, etc
• a fermented cod liver oil supplement – dosage to provide me with at least 20,000 IU vitamin A (needs for nursing women) and comparable vit D support (5-10,000 IU)
• Strong tea of dandelion leaf and root, red clover, red raspberry leaf and nettle (which is a liver, kidney and uterine tonic for hormone balancing and gentle cleansing – as I can’t do a full on liver detox while nursing)

Dinners:

• Stews (bone broth, veggies, pieces of chicken, etc), quinoa bowls (soaked black beans over sautéed kale and quinoa, etc), baked or sautéed meat and veggies (curries!), stuffed peppers, soaked legumes/beans/grains in moderation (quinoa or brown rice, lentils, etc)

Light or In-between meals and desserts:

• a baked sweet potato with skin and butter and raw honey on top
• celery with all natural no sugar peanut butter (ingredients should be peanuts, with or without salt), or raw tahini (almond butter)
• handful of mixed nuts (esp raw almonds)
• stove popped popcorn in coconut oil with nutritional yeast and sea salt (“real salt” brand for minerals)
• steamed edamame in the pod with sea salt
• Occasionally a small baked good, made without refined white flour or sugar.
• Kale chips (kale baked in extra virgin olive oil and sea salt)
• Seasonal variety of fruits and veggies (carrot sticks, sweet bell peppers, cucumber, baked sweet potato “fries”, etc.)
• Fresh, plain whole yogurt with some fruit, cinnamon, and raw unfiltered honey
• raw milk steamer (raw milk warmed on stove with raw honey, cinnamon, cardamon, nutmeg, cloves, fair trade organic powdered cocoa and homemade vanilla extract)



Not allowed:

• sugars– which is in everything from cereals to bars to breads to ketchup to peanut butter these days… (oh, and this includes every type of sweetener except raw honey – and even that can be too much of a good thing — I have to remind myself! lol I have been using Xylitol in small amounts here and there as well, like if I want a touch of sweetness to my coffee)
• refined processed foods (most things that are prepackaged, preprepared, etc fall into this category)
• empty carbs (refined white flour pastas, breads, scones, bagels, fruit juice, yogurts, baked goods, white rice, etc – this stuff WILL mess with your insulin and WILL make you store fat. Period. Tip: If something says “fat free” or “light” on the package, its a good idea to puke on it. Or put it back on the shelf, whatever.)
• trans fats (like hydrogenated vegetable oils) (fast food is a duh)
• foods with soy and corn additives (high fructose corn syrup, soy lecithin, so on)
• basically anything that is not a “whole food” or was not made with strictly whole, natural foods. If you can’t read the ingredients, you are better off not eat it (this includes “healthy” cereals, salad dressings, you name it). Look at nutrition labels and know what you are eating. Bonus: eating whole foods (organic or fresh and local when you can) is NOT more expensive than prepackaged NON-food when you actually look at it pound for pound unit comparison.
• In summation, give your body what it was made to consume. Food. Just food. Kinda easy to remember, heh?

of course, plenty of water is always a good idea as well

To add to my nourishing diet I am hoping to strengthen my body physically. This week I have 3 practice jogs for 30 minutes each before the big race (5k, lol) on Sunday for Race for the Cure. But my goal is to also begin to develop a backyard obstacle course with things like ropes, tires, a soccer ball, orange cones, so on, that I can run through several times a day with Ethan. In addition, I’ll be starting a yoga class.

So if my connection cooperates, I’ll be posting the pics tomorrow, stay tuned!

I used this recipe for the homemade chocolate zucchini cake (doubled for the castle bunt pan and the muffin pan). Instead of white sugar I soaked turbinado with the wet ingredients for 15 minutes before adding the dry ingredients. I used whole wheat pastry flour, oh and raw milk instead of buttermilk. I also omitted the pecans because I don’t think Ethan would like that, and it is his birthday cake, after all

The frosting is cream cheese – from the delicious Birth day Cake recipe here. I tripled the recipe listed for TONS of frosting, plus adding two ripe bananas.

Topped the cake and muffins with slices of fresh strawberries and a few blueberries. I then mixed honey with a can of pureed pineapple and drizzled it over everything.

Hungry yet?!?!