Friday series inspired by SouleMama

“{this moment}: A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.”

For those of you who haven’t heard, Chris interviewed for a job through a temp agency on Friday and they took the bait! He began working on Monday, woo hoo!

It sure has been different these last few days- going to bed early, waking up early… both kids usually stay asleep, allowing me at least 30 minutes to myself. What a treat to eat, drink my coffee, check my email, and knit for awhile in front of an open window as the neighborhood birds wake up. Bliss! Finding time to work, that’s another story. I can’t stay up late to work anymore or else I’m zombie mama in the morning and godzilla mama by the afternoon. I’m working on opening up a 3 days per week waldorf-inspired playschool, which I’m so excited about, but I have lots of logistics to iron out first. In the meantime, I’m trusting that I’ll find the time and energy to continue bringing in my share of the income while taking care of the youngins too. Just an adjustment, really. Life is so full of them!

A cardinal nest just outside our door reminds us that we are not the ONLY family living on this property

The days are long without adult company – I almost forgot what it was like. I allow myself only 5-10 minutes to pop onto the internet during the day so I don’t get sidetracked from the multitude of things I have to do around the house now that Chris is gone (sooo… laundry and dishes and trash and bathroom cleaning doesn’t just magically happen. Who knew?)

When there isn’t something to clean or something to cook or some one’s butt to wipe — believe it or not, there are teeny tiny windows of time where I am NOT doing one of the above — there is our Waldorf-inspired kindergarten curriculum (3 days per week), walks, gardening, stories, art, games, and so on. The part that is so outside the norm is the lack of adult conversation. I don’t know how single moms, or those with husbands working two jobs or also in night classes, do it. I suppose this is why community support and extended family around is such a necessity.

We have been baking a lot. A new favorite around here is the recipe I found for chocolate cookies using whole wheat pastry flour, raw sugar, and crunchy sea salt on top. Finally, a replacement for that darn addictive cookie dough from Immaculate Baking Co.! One batch of this recipe costs about the same as a pack of the dough, but makes probably 4 times the servings. I’ll share more pics and the link to the recipe later this week…

However, I’m enjoying it. There are low points to the day, but that’s a given. All in all, it is really nice to focus on just the house/kids/myself without having to take into account and balance the needs and conversations of another adult. And it makes the evening time together that much more special.

Yay, dad’s home!

We are currently reading through “Radical Homemakers ; Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture”. I love it. Wait, no, I didn’t say that right. I LOVE THIS BOOK AND THINK EVERY ONE SHOULD READ IT. NOW. PERIOD. THE END.

But more on that another day.

With all the rain, we’ve resorted to hanging laundry indoors. Cloth diapering without a dryer is… interesting.

With all the rain (A week or more of straight up RAIN, thunder, and lightening. NOTHING like the rain I was used to in Portland. This is torrential downpour weather) we realized that the chicken coop was placed in an area of the yard that was quickly becoming a mudslide — and not the yummy, ice creamy kind. So it was moved to a place further up on the “hill” where they are happily not feather deep in goop.

This opened up a new space in the yard that gets lots of sun and lots of rain. I am fast at work on a garden plan that would put more raised beds in that space, along with container blueberry plants, tater tires, and perhaps a fruit tree or two.

Coming this summer: dwarf sugar peas, pole beans, dragon tongue beans, and heirloom watermelon!

Our pole beans are shooting right up, as well. When the sun peeks out again, we’ll be setting up an 8′ high bean tepee in the yard to let them climb for a shady summer resting spot. It’s down right magical to watch little tiny seeds become plants taller than you are.

Life is beckoning me to live it now, so until next time…

I enjoy having a daughter immensely. It is so true what they say. You wonder how you’ll ever love another living creature as much as your first child and then whoosh [insert moans and cries of agony and hard work]: the second child arrives. Your heart grows double the size to accommodate all that you feel. The more love felt, the more growth experienced to keep up. Like breastmilk – supply meets demand. If I ever decide to have more children, I’m certain this mother-child-mathematics will continue. I’m convinced that there is never a shortage of love for your children, be they one or one hundred.

One thing I particularly like about having my Ver Bear is how lovely it is to have a daughter to knit for

Some patterns just call to me. This one did. I waited around for its release for days, and once it was available I had purchased it within a few minutes.

The yarn for this project, (Verity’s birthday gift), is the soft, one might even describe as doughy, Rowan Summer Tweed – Brilliance (70% silk, 30% cotton), plus a trimming of a heathery dark teal worsted stash yarn. I adore the feel of the sweater, though must say, the yarn was a little tricky to work with. It is so delicate you can actually tear it apart if you don’t go easy on it (and I did that. Twice. Talk about panic attack when your knitting along and then SNAP! But I saved it — phew.)

I finally began working on this again last weekend and finished yesterday, 3 weeks late for her birthday but just in time for the cool weather today. The chic fabric buttons I ordered for it on Etsy ended up being too big for the button holes (a mistake I happen to make frequently) but I found what I think was a nice alternative embellishment in my button stash. These copper, vintage inspired buttons were purchased over a year ago at a button store in Portland. They were so me. But I never found the right project for them. Nothing seemed worthy enough. Until now, that is

It’s fits just right, with wiggle room for her to wear through Fall/Winter next year. I couldn’t be more pleased to see my daughter staying cozy and cute in her new sweater, handknit with loads of love.

“Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.
Each by itself has its pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair…
The mark of solitude is silence, as speech is the mark of community.”
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together

Perhaps the lack of silence and solitude is the hardest part about being a full-time mommy. If speech is the mark of community, as Dietrich claims above, then by golly, I’ve had no shortage of community for about 5 years now. From 24/7 motherhood, to church, friends, family, marriage, even a co-housing situation – speech/community has been everywhere. And there have been far too many seasons of imbalance in which the “life with others” part of my life is way overpowering the “life alone” part, which plunges me more times than I care to recount into the “void of words and feelings”.

My hope is that I can be more grateful for this time in life, knowing I will miss the noise of children when they grow up and leave home. Despite a throat/ear area swollen from allergies right now, I am trying really hard to remind myself that from the mouths of babes and infants He has ordained praise (and not just mind-blowing volume-defying nonsense!)

It’s all about balance. Balancing the noise with the silence. SO hard to do with kids around you all the time but I must find a way. I’ve got some ideas so maybe I’ll come back to the blog when I’ve implemented them

In the meantime, a photo journey of the noise/silence journey of this last week…

silence.

noise.

silence.

noise.

silence.

noise.

silence.

*First, a little business: Sarah- you were the winner of “Families, Festivals and Food”! Get me your address and I’ll get it in the mail!*

Life is mysterious. I know – how profound. But for real. And irony sure seems an ever present element in the journey. The criss crossy topsy turvy Oh-The-Places-You-Will-Go-Dr.Suess-ish-ness… I don’t even try to figure it out much anymore. The last 2 years of my life have defied or exceeded all of my former constructs. I am more convinced of the creative brilliance of the Creator of the Universe and less of the textbook, Sunday school “god” than ever before. I also get more angry and confused about it all. Sometimes it’s as absurd as growing and shrinking upon a bite of this and a sip of that down in that hurried little rabbit’s hole.

Some of you are nodding and the rest of you, if you are still reading, have glazed over eyes. I guess my mind has been full as of late. We’ve gone through a lot of changes and more are to come. For me, I’m trying to make decisions about what to focus on for awhile, even if that means sacrificing financial security. As I type, Chris is out applying at a new “green” home building retail store that just opened here in Fayetteville. The hours are perfect and his experience is so well matched, so yes, we are really crossing our fingers and saying our prayers. But he has lots of applications on lots of desks right now and who knows what the right thing will be at the right time. So we are playing a bit of the waiting game, while my own aptitude for pressing on as a work-at-home-mother with two young children in my care full time dwindles. My prayer right now is for a period of refreshing and refocusing to come, and soon!

Ok, I digress with a slideshow from Earth Day with my parents here in Fayetteville with us (sooo nice!):

Things were a little busy last week – we spent a lot of time with new friends, helped build a really cool barn style chicken coop (ours is going up next!), had a lovely day in the country (Ethan skinny dipped for the first time!), had my first Arkansas tick experience (ew!), then went immediately into prep for Chris’ big spanish style birthday shindig. We made 20 pounds of pulled pork, slow cooked for 2 days in a crock pot with lots and lots of garlic, limes and adobo. We had about 4 gallons of slow cooked black beans and rice, along with a big beautiful salad, fresh bread, lots of plaintains and even mofongo! The event was a great excuse to spend time with family and food!

Here’s some pictures of the event and other happenings this week (along with some fun pics of my dreads, now 3 months old )

So speaking of family, festivals, and food: This is the title of one of my very favorite books. I picked it up when Ethan was about 2 years old and began to gravitate right away to what I learned about Waldorf celebrations. Lately I’ve been reading more and more books and listening to training workshops, all in preparation for something I have yet to tell you guys about but when I do I’ll be so happy to share with you all!

So, today was a rough day. I am fighting a cold, Chris and I are both very tired, Ethan and Verity are both incredibly high needs and the noise level is constant! Not to mention that I have lots and lots of work to make up and I highly doubt I will finish it all. With sore throat and ears ringing, I felt impatient and unnerved today – two things I really don’t like about myself, I must admit. I remember seeing this video recently of a Waldorf home-based educator who said that when she notices the energy of the children getting really rowdy, she first checks her own breathing. That came to mind today, as I strove to check myself as a potential contributor to the wild pent-up rainy day boredom energy of the kids.

So instead of raising my voice for the umpteenth time (working on it!), I told Ethan to be still and silent as much as he could while Chris took Verity off on a drive to fall asleep. While this was happening I made a pot of “Quiet Child” tea from Mountain Rose Herbs and the “Best Oatmeal Cookies” from that well-loved go-to book: Family, Festivals, and Food!

What you can’t experience over this screen is just how tasty and warm these simple little things are. Things are feeling cozier and quieter already…

Well, if you’d like to try them, leave a comment about something you use to help ground yourself or the kids on an everything-is-going-wrong kinda day. Next week, I’ll pick a winner randomly and mail you my extra copy of this book! In it you will find seasonal activities, recipes, verses and songs, and stories for your family to celebrate the year.

My intention: to release. When my palms are aching from holding too tight, and my neck is sore from the tension of the load – put it down, drop the line, just release it all.

The expectations. The fears. The anxiety. The selfishness. The opinions. The consumption. The pain. Just let it go.

Embrace, instead, the reality of true freedom to Just Be. The reality of Love Incarnate.

Here are some pictures from this week:

A discarded robin’s egg found in the backyard reminds us: hippity, hoppity, Easter is on it’s way!

The office is very much a greenhouse at the moment. along with 42 heirloom tomato plants, we’ve got oodles of sprouts already from herbs, peppers, lettuce, melons, gourds, and more. Along with a huge assortment of sprouts from a tray Ethan plated all by himself for his flower garden: foxglove, sunflowers, columbine, california poppy, chinese lantern, money plant, marigolds, zinnia – the list goes on! It’s going to be so beautiful this summer!

Verity and I were on the news Saturday night! Talking about the farmers market (I was a total dweeb. I didn’t even realize this was for the local news, I said something like “good luck on your project!” to the young man as we parted ways- for some reason I thought he was a university student, lol! Then my landlord called to tell me it was good to see me on the 5 o’clock news! Ha…)

Finished Verity’s “pixie” easter bonnet

Ethan got a handmade easter basket at the farmer’s market. I admired the flowers, pottery, amazing bluegrass musicians, and handspun yarns. I purchased a huge local smoked ham (which a portion of is currently crocking for split pea soup dinner!)

My knitting and laptop are never safe from Verity’s curious little hands…

I’ve been spending ample time in the backyard, enjoying the new blooms while the kids play in their sandbox. We’ve been doing more garden bed prep, and have put up a nice clothes line set. Also found a $25 picnic table to put out there, above which is strung white christmas lights. Can’t wait for outdoor dining again!

It’s certainly getting green out there…

Easter baskets lined with sprouts (real grass!) holding hardboiled eggs, yogurt covered raisins and pretzels, a coconut bar, and a few gifts: a dragon bubble wand, beeswax modeling clay, and beeswax block crayons (for Ver), all courtesy of Bella Luna Toys. Ethan also got a “Milo” to play with his “Otis”, and a replacement “Scorch” for the one he lost and still couldn’t live without.

Ethan playing with new neighborhood friends: a sweet polish family who lives a few doors down who we bump into on our evening walks.

I guess that about does it!

Today: enjoy the release.

(It’s quite possible that)
this life is all about
silly impressions of each other
while all around us
water.
falls.
(loudly.)

(It’s quite possible that)
this life is all about
noticing fungus
(or flowers.)

(It’s quite possible that)
this life is all about
choosing whether to be
creepy
or cute.
(or both.)

(It’s quite possible that)
life is all about
being yourself
-together.

Here I begin a new ritual at Mama Seasons: sharing, in photos, a few special things, a few special words, from my week:

Good morning, my little wild flower sprouts. So glad you survived the snow.

A sweet addition for Ethan’s table: beeswax egg candles. They warm our hearts.

Our new family pet: “Kiwi” is an all natural, genuine sheepskin/leather kiwi bird stuffed animal made in New Zealand. He was looking at me longingly as I perused the church yard sale. Finally, I caved and dolled out the .25 cents to bring him home with me. We all love him so. (For the sake of sharing my discoveries, I also got away with some wool sweaters (for felting), a soaker hose (for the rain barrels we are building), and an old Rodale’s “Naturally Delicious Desserts and Snacks” book. I think my bill was $2.)

I finished a simple wool shrug to keep Verity’s shoulders warm in the chilly Spring days. This will go with a little pillowcase dress I’m making for her birthday this month (more on that another time.)

Finally finished this sweet sundress I knitted/sewed for my niece’s 1st birthday (which was now almost a month ago, doh!) It’s gonna be put in the mail this week, guys, I promise!

That’s it for my week in photos. May you all have small moments to capture your heart this week…

The honey bees have come out to play

Dandelion
Dandy Dandelion was a handsome fellow,
With his coast of green, and his vest of yellow;
He had lots of gold, he was very lazy,
So he chose to scold a modest little daisy.

Silly little daisy, foolish little flower,
Imitating me, to your best of power;
Just then some one passed, who his cane was swinging,
Snapped off Dandelion, ceased his accent singing.

Daisy at the sight, dropped a tear of sorrow,
Closed her eyes and died, opened on the morrow;
Every one that passed, gazing with delight,
Asked her where she found gems, so pure and bright.”

- from “Kindergarten Gems; Stories and Rhymes for Little Folks“

We will be more officially entering a learning unit of birds and wild flowers in our area now that our guide books have come in. We are so excited to learn more about the birds that our in our own yard. There are three male cardinals that hang out in our front tree religiously, as well as a female or two. We have a few graceful doves out there, along with a house finch and titmouse, too. Ethan just adores watching them and pointing out what kind they are.

I look forward to sharing more as we progress into the studies…

In the meantime, guess what we were up to on our first weekend of Spring??? We got snowed in! And we ran out of toilet paper, milk and eggs too! We got a little stir crazy…

Just check out the view from our front window:

Here’s one of those male cardinals – doesn’t he look striking in the snow?

And here’s Ethan and Chris’ kool-aid Snowman creation!

Good times…