Category — Homesteading

Today was a simple day. Lately, there seem to be more and more of them. I am constantly having to remind myself to keep it that way – to not destroy the method by tacking on extra to-do’s, and to just “be” as often as possible.

A day like this, with no one down from the latest viruses that float around this great green and blue earth, has been few and far between. Linens were hung outside in the sunny 40 degree mid-day, chickens stayed out from dawn til dusk soaking it up, Ethan climbed a tree while the baby slept. And today was a day of learning. Ethan was very productive with all the things he got done, his reading and history and math and language lessons. I even let him do a computer game (Magic School Bus explores the Rainforest!), which is not exactly in our typical “way” to homeschool, but it seemed like a nice treat after a day spent on books and rulered paper and chalkboards…

Ethan. He is something else. In the quiet of our own home, he has truly begun to make changes in the way he relates to me, his respect and empathy and self-control. He is still incredibly energetic around new people, and continues to have a difficult time waiting his turn to speak, but the way in which he has been maturing these last few weeks has been truly a blessing to me. It has made our days much more enjoyable, our relationship much more sustainable, and even his dad and sister are relating better to him as he takes on the “air” of a 6 year old (who even lost his first tooth recently!!!). There are successes and failures, learning experiences, for us both. Parenting 24/7 is a colorful journey of ups and downs, to say the least.

And I’m not sure which came first, the chicken or the egg, but I’m also feeling — in general — much calmer, less rushed, more playful and quiet-toned, than I have in years. Giving up on devoting a major chunk of my day to income generating work has been a long-time coming, but I can still hardly believe how good it feels to flow about my day managing my household, attempting to catch up on the constant stream of childrens’ needs and wants, without the demands and pressures of an outside job zapping my reserves of time, energy, and patience out from under me. On top of not devoting major hours each day to working from home, I have also not been drinking caffeine, replaced now for THREE weeks with calming handcrafted herbal tea, high quality foods and supplements of vitamins and minerals that support my weak liver, foggy brain, and wacky hormonal glands. It’s been an interesting time, despite catching colds and this and that, because I have a very distinct mood elevation these last few weeks and I must say — I rather like feeling happy

As I blogged about recently, Chris and I ventured up through the snow to Columbia, MO this last weekend. The drive was wonderful, both times, and allowed us a great time of conversation we’ve been needing to catch up on. Our friends we stayed with were marvelous hosts in the most charming of homes, and the time we spent with them was lovely. Even though I caught Ver’s stomach bug of last week and spent most of the day Saturday feeling queasy, I am still very glad to have made the trip. Ethan, too, caught the bug, and that is my one regret that the poor guy was staying here in Arkansas with family when it hit him Friday night, leaving them to clean up the “mess” that comes along with a stomach virus. Thumbs down for that, but otherwise a good report. There is nothing concrete about us moving up there, but we can definitely see our family and lifestyle fitting in well with the area, and most importantly that the flexibility of a job at the bakery there for Chris would allow our family more quality time together and a better quality of life in general. Beyond that, though, it is too early to make any certain announcements. Definitely a neat little city with a great “vibe”, which we enjoyed if even just for a weekend.

Now we are faced with a few impending decisions – the first one being to give our notice and not renew our lease beyond next month (yikes!). I am finding this part difficult, despite all the complaints I have against this house, because in the end I came to this house to really make it my own and be here awhile. As I was cleaning these old wood floors and remember Ethan and I mopping together once and he said, “I know! It’s like we are giving the house a bath!” I sat on the front porch swing knitting and remember the first few weeks when Chris built and painted those “Mystery Purple” railings. Ethan and I always talked about blessing our house by keeping her clean, and when some one would get hurt because they were acting up we would joke that the old house was reminding us to be gentle on her and slow down. I have memories here in just one year, and in the end, as of right now, this old drafty moldy house is all I got. Transition and limbo and unknown are so much more difficult states of being to embrace than grounded, rooted, and established. I know that the roof over my head is NOT my home, in fact I was not even MADE for this world, but my insecurities cling to what’s familiar and has found it really hard to bite the bullet and actually leave this house, esp not knowing exactly when and to where. I know I need to dig in deep and gain some wisdom and perspective, and trust that when I Let Go, I will be carried in His Will.

1. Food. Food plays such an integral role in my life. Sometimes I have to pinch myself at the luxury, the vast riches, of the simple life. And yeah, I’m fairly ahem-poor-ahem, but I seriously and passionately believe you can’t put a price tag good solid nutrition or the health and life it brings, not to mention the good it puts into the world. (huzzah for food justice!) We continue to use the bulk buying club method and our local natural food co-op to try to make creative, affordable meals that are nourishing. Not always easy, but well worth the extra effort. Just one example: this morning I was making blueberry muffins (soaked whole wheat pastry flour, rapidura sugar, fat wild blueberries, organic oats = sweeeeeetness). I sprinkled the buttery chunks of streusel topping over the top of the muffin pan. Washing off in warm water, my hands felt the luxurious treat of a raw sugar, cinnamon, pastured butter, oat scrub no spa could replicate

2. The sun. Oh mister sun, sun, mister golden sun… The sun came out to play today, giving me time to hang two loads of laundry amidst a little crunch crunch from the lingering icy snow on the ground. The chickens couldn’t be happier to have water that didn’t freeze right away and plenty of fresh kitchen scraps to scratch around in. They even blessed us with 6 eggs this week (way to push through tough times, girls!) The kids, however, still deemed it too cold to hang in the yard with me, (those weak willed ruffians.)

3. Garlic. This may well have its own category because this little miracle bulb has really been helpful to me lately. You see, I get chronic sinus infections as well as a host of other inflammatory symptoms like itchy red patches of skin. I began drinking raw garlic tea and noticed how much quicker the sinus infection went dormant again. Then I read that in countries where they consume 10-12 raw cloves a day, garlic has been linked to reduced risk of cancer and a host of other diseases. I’ve since crushed a few cloves here and there through out the day, but my favorite is still that soothing tea. Now, before you go “GAHG!” let me walk you through the how-to and let you see for yourself how mellow this tea actually is: press 3 whole cloves of raw garlic in a mug. Wait 10-15 minutes for the good stuff to extract. Meanwhile, gently boil non-chlorinated water. Pour water over the garlic and add plenty of raw honey and fresh squeezed lemon. Once it cools enough to drink, sip it all and be sure to eat up the bits of garlic at the bottom. They are surprisingly delightful, not at all to pungent, this way. I’ve been able to stay on top of my sinus problems and my skin has been getting smoother each day. (I’ve also given up caffeine — yes, the former blogger of MamaNEEDJava! — and am watching things like alcohol and refined flours and sugars even more carefully – but that’s another post for another day).

4. Knitting. I know, I know, you can totally call my “duh” on this one but a list of my happy things would be not be complete without the noble mention of my favorite hobby. I’ve been feverishly finishing a layette for a good friend of mine’s baby shower tomorrow and the smooth organic cotton yarn has been a nice, effortless companion amongst a hard week of frigid temps, sick babies, and cabin fever. I’ll post pics soon (don’t want to spoil the surprise )

5. Damien Rice. Ohhhhhhh the Damien love is pumpin through my veins this week. The soulful harmonies with string and acoustic accompaniments – ugh- I… I’m without words, but not without tears. It’s moving, I tell ya.

6. Portlandia. The new show cracks me up and renews my heart for all things Portland. PDX love.

7. Beta fish. The re-homing and loss of our widdle kitty Paz last year has left a deep void that only owning another pet can fill. Alas, we are in way too much of a transitional phase in our lives to bring a furry critter along for the ride. But this week we got two beta fish (homed separately, of course) who floats their purdy wittle fins in graceful waves above natural river rock and spin circles around the living bamboo in their jar. Periodically they call a happy “Howdy” to the snails we bought to live with them (for real, its almost audible.) Not cuddle worthy, no, but entertaining and low-maintenance, yes. For now, that little space inside that longs for something alive to share our home with, (besides the constant stream of pests that try to take up residents here – the family of raccoons and the TWO venomous shrews we’ve captured), feels satiated.

8. A job. Today hubby finally moved from “temp” to a real bonafide job job within the company he’s been assigned to since September. While it’s not the career launching thing he is passionate about, it is slightly more security and slightly more pay, both of which contribute to slightly more peace of mind

9. Road trip plans. Chris and I are getting out of dodge next weekend for a quick trip up to Columbia, MO. We are scoping out the scene up there, seeing if we get that “home” feeling, and visiting with some sweet friends. Ver will come with, while Ethan will spend the weekend with his doting aunt, in the bliss of his older cousins full attention To say I CAN’T WAIT would be an enormous understatement. I’m already compiling playlists for our 5 hour drive… sooooo excited!

10. Annie Dilliard. Reading The Writing Life again. It always inspires me to dig deep and start the work of being a serious writer. Meh… we’ll see. Still, love her prose.

I leave you with a few more sweet moments this week: impression ornaments with homemade clay and rock photo/card holders, both inspired by GardenMama.

This winter has been good and hard at the same time. Garlic has helped. And I gave up coffee for New Year’s… we’ll see how that goes.

It is tough work, this life. Hanging up clothes on the line in the winter and staring down that pile of dishes that seems to magically transplant itself BACK in the sink every time I walk away from the kitchen. Sometimes I think, enough! there must be more to life than this! And indeed there is. But it’s there all the time, in the relationships, in the growth, in the stretch that burns. It’s in the clothes and the dishes and midnight nursing and the stir-crazy-lack-of-car thing and the oh-my-gosh-how-are-we-going-to-pay-the-bills thing.

It’s the endurance, the perseverance, the surrender, the trust in what you cannot see. Hard times come and hard times go. What else can I say? At least I haven’t been struck in the head by a dead bird

Instead, I bring you winter images that capture the heart of my life; the good, precious bucket fulls of grace and beauty all around me.

I was recently at one of those big chain craft stores for some unfinished wood supplies and noticed how nearly half the store has been recently turned into a seasonal craft section filled floor to ceiling with unnatural materials made to look like shiny, durable versions of their real counterparts (i.e. leaves, pumpkins, spiders, cats, snowmen, reindeer, poinsettias, you get the idea). I recall many years ago, living in a climate with virtually no noticeable change in seasons, how I loved when the store began carrying the seasonal items. One could drop hundreds of dollars on seasonal home decor meant to create an atmosphere of something we have, as a culture, abandoned: the bygone era, Little-House-in-the-Big-Woods-style simplicity celebrating nature, inspiration, creativity, and homeyness.

Clever marketing tells us to go out and spend money on these things to fill what is missing, to make our homes feel like something called life is happening in them. Genuine experiences have been replaced by photo ops at consumer venues (ice skating rinks, Santa’s lap at the mall, pumpkin patches in church lawns). These aren’t all together “bad”, and certainly lovely family memories can be had there, but there is always something our souls know is missing – like we are replacing something whole with something inherently broken and lacking. When we step back and look at the mirage of consumerist seasonal products and manufactured experiences, we know that deep down, it just ain’t the real deal.

I don’t believe the answer is to opt out of seasonal celebrations, to turn a nose up at the consumerism in defiance and solidarity, but rather to strive to reclaim the natural and simple ways we can celebrate holidays and changing seasons with an acute sense of responsibility to the earth and its inhabitants.

To do this, simply look around. Use your senses to take in what is happening in the less manicured spaces where you live (a preserve? natural forest? perhaps the wild corners of your own backyard!) and think outside the box about ways to bring those observations with you indoors, particularly through activities that the kids will enjoy doing with you. Allow the colors to inspire you; are they bright and lively Spring crocuses or the total simplicity of silent white snow?

Think about experiential ways to celebrate: learn a new seasonal song as a family, or start a seasonal garden. If you anticipate cooler weather this winter, don’t forget to make provisions for the birds and squirrels that will be coming through your property in search of a winter meal and fresh water. The memories you and your children will have from these non-consumerist activities will honor them throughout their lives.

A few things we have done in our home and at the playschool this month include:

1. Pine cone bird feeders: cover pine cones with peanut butter and sprinkle on bird seeds – even the youngest children love this! Hang from a tree branch near your window for some bird watching in the coming weeks.

2. Fall leaf prints: on your nature walk, collect fallen leaves and flat seeds, feathers, etc, and bring home to place under thin paper – even fall colored tissue paper – and rub with the side of a crayon — a beeswax block crayon works particularly well for this. The result, Ethan says, “is like magic!” You can hang these as is, or cut them out and glue to construction paper and laminate with contact paper to make Fall place mats. Or hang the tissue paper cut outs in the windows for the sun to shine through and illuminate the leaf prints. So many things you can do with them and they are truly a beautiful way to preserve Fall leaves.

3. Tissue paper window stars: So versatile, so pretty, and so simple. Bring nature’s palette into your home with these window stars you can create with the kids. There are a variety of tutorials online, simply google “Waldorf window star tutorial” to find some.

4. A Nature Mobile: Hang a branch wreathe with yarn or string and from it attach items you collect outside. This ever evolving chandelier is a simple and inspiring conversation piece through out the year.

5. A Nature Table: No waldorf home could be complete without one, but these should really be found in every home. Any small table or shelf will do, and the only rule of thumb is to again keep it simple and natural. We hang silk clothes of colors we see outdoors, decorate with found or made items to reflect what is happening seasonally. Our Fall table currently features a moss covered window sill (real harvested moss was found at the craft store!) with needle felted and wooden mushrooms popping out. The seasonal tree is adorned with Fall leaves we collected last year in Portland and dipped in all natural melted beeswax to preserve them. They are just as beautiful as ever and look great on the seasonal table without getting crinkly and brown. There are so many ways to “do” a nature table, just let nature inspire you and you are well on your way!

Our seasonal tree with beeswax dipped Fall leaves amongst the Michelaemus angel we made and a found blue jay feather

Needle felting wool into seasonal items is a fun and easy way to add nature-inspired figurines to your nature displays. Our squirrel, who we named Klickitat, loves to munch on our found acorns and tucks himself into his cozy pumpkin home each night

6. Log Boats: A favorite year round, log boats can be extra pretty when adorned with a sail of Fall leaves. Be sure to schedule a trip to a creek or water source to watch your ships set sail

7. Plant a Fall Garden: Now is the time, if you haven’t already, to turn over the spent late Summer garden, empty that compost, and get those Fall plants growing! Last week the play school kids helped me work the soil of our pole bean raised bed and planted two heirloom varieties of lettuce along with some red russian kale. If you live in milder climates, Fall is a great time to grow just about anything! Check your local nursery for tips on what to plant in your area, and when. Get those hands dirty!

8. Nature People: Use found items on your nature walks such as nuts, leaves, and moss, to put together little arrangements of nature people for your Fall displays and play time. The possibilities are endless!

9. Learn seasonal songs together: This month our circle time includes two new seasonal songs, October and Autumn Leaves are a Falling. Other resources include books like The Singing Year and CD’s such as Come Follow Me. We can’t get enough!

10. Go outside! Nothing can replace the magic and wonders found outside, particularly in wild spaces. Go on nature walks, visit state parks and local farms – whatever you do, just GO OUT and OBSERVE! You never know what will happen (If you’re feeling particularly nature handicapped and need help introducing your family to the outdoors, a few books I really enjoyed are Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder, I Love Dirt!: 52 Activities to Help You and Your Kids Discover the Wonders of Nature, and A Natural Sense of Wonder: Connecting Kids with Nature through the Seasons. Remember: Consume Less, Share More — check out your local library!)

HAPPY CELEBRATING!

Well, let’s catch up a bit, shall we???

I began watching kiddos for the play school (Home Grown Playschool, a.k.a. my little brain child) these last two weeks — which is a like, well, a whole other story. (in a nutshell – finally got the OK when I least expected it but when I really needed to make decisions about staying in this house or leaving, and so far it has felt really good to put my creative energy towards this and to spend my mornings and early afternoons singing, eating, crafting, and playing with a table full of kids!)

Simultaneously, Chris has also landed another temp job, one that pays the same but is a little further away, which isn’t ideal but definitely better than no income, amen?! We are quickly finding our rhythm again as a family and taking each day, each moment, with as much graceful stride as we can muster

October brought us some chilly weather which was AWWWsome, but this weekend looks like the mid-80’s again. I’m kind of in shock that this area has seen zero leaf change at this point, and I’m itching to wrap my dreads up in a wool tam and not let them out until Spring Alas, some mornings this week it sure did feel like Fall!

During homeschool and/or play school, we’ve been learning about trees and nuts, St. Francis (and generosity to animals in general), Michaelamus, etc etc (can one realllllllly list all that you do in a home school in 3 weeks?) for the last few weeks in the play school. We’ve crafted silk and feather Michaelamus angels, gathered nut people (mine was a wizard bird, see below), pine cone bird feeders, a fall wreath, so on. So much fun stuff this time of year!

Ethan’s been in a World Dance class with about 20 other kids ages 4-11 or so, and he’s having a blast. They have a recital in December so for now its mainly about learning some moves and following directions, and for Ethan the concept of paying attention and giving respect to the teacher while also learning to be comfortable in his body and movements (which I’m beginning to delve more into as I start learning about the waldorf/steiner “Eurythmy” concept and how to integrate that into our daily circle time).

This week my highlight was going (for the first time) to the Botanical Gardens of the Ozarks, which was so very well done — I was totally impressed. The children’s garden was so cool and we ended up staying for a couple of hours after the “Little Sprouts” preschool program just to play and walk around. Some pictures of that:

We have also emptied our compost and added it with some straw to the empty patches in the raised beds where we retired the dried up corn and squash and beans. The kids and I worked the soil for a few days before planting some kale and lettuce as the summer garden transforms into a Fall garden.

May the season find you all warm, healthy and rested – inside and out!

We all have one of those days. Probably often.

It’s not that something tragic happens or anything actually “bad”, really. It’s just that, even when you are feeling groovy, things around you just are sorta … not flowing?

Maybe I am posting this because it is August. August is, I admit, my least favorite month of the year. I love love love the Fall, Winter and Spring, but Summer has a few highlights and then by August I just want to fast forward to late September, Harvest Festivals and cool nights…

There is truly so much beauty and inspiration in life, but there are times that you have to look a lot harder than normal to see it. I can show you pictures of the kids and the garden, of tea cups and candles and butterflies — but what is beyond the frame of the camera lens? Do I have bad days? A messy house? Longings unfulfilled? Bugs in my garden?

Well, folks, I DO! And despite that I do deem my life magical and charming (thanks mainly to my sweet children, with little help from me!) – there ARE things outside the frame.

So today, instead of the usual Friday “This Moment” of cherished memories, I will let you see beyond the frame into the everyday not-so-quaint parts of my life.

I have dishes that pile up in just 6 hours:

and clothes that have been sitting in the washing machine for several days because I haven’t had time to hang them on the line:

kids who strew their clothes all over their room after you just put them away:

These bugs:

Who do this to all my beautiful corn:

A whole jar full of these bugs:

Who do this to my pumpkin patch:

Flowers that fade much too soon:

And kids who pick their nose:

Not to mention, of course, the AWESOME fact that I hear a litter of raccoons in my attic at midnight:

So, dears, take heart — and I will try too. Maybe if we can embrace life’s messiness and disappointments we can be truly grateful for all we have.

so much to say after this two week hiatus – not sure where to begin.

There’s pics to display, stories of success and failure to share, news to report.

These weeks have included:

- lots of wrestling with the same ol’ life lessons we are too hard headed to “get”

- Ethan turned 5 years old.

- I realized he is a “spirited extrovert” as described in the book “Raising a Spirited Child”. With a sigh of relief I felt more equipped to handle our differences and celebrate who is he is.

- A sweet visit from my sister and her fam

- A heat wave

- Lots of bugs on my vegetable beds that have brought me much frustration. Gardening is supposed to be fun, isn’t it??? I have a nice huge bowl of cayenne/garlic tea I plan to spray all over them tomorrow, so we’ll see if that helps.

- The decision that we want to leave AR when we “get our ducks in a row” to do so. Either back to OR, our “soul home”, and then eventually a village in Burgundy France

- A new show we enjoy together in the after hours of parenting : DEXTER!

- A wee-hours-of-the-morning, spontaneous prayer combustion, awesome girls night with the “Radical Homemaking” group

- Three days of fatigue to recover from the wee-hours-of-the-morning girl night.

- Two of my chickens were killed, leaving a lone Daffodil.

- We trapped the likely culprit, a raccoon, only to accidentally kill it by leaving the cage in the sun during a heat wave for a few hours. Also, it left behind some family members in the attic, which has Ethan terrified and a very light sleeper – a bummer.

- Laughter, tears, prayers, meals, talks, books… life.

I guess that about wraps it up. Until next time…

“I’m homeschooling because I know in my heart it is RIGHT.”

This type of statement can be heard/seen pretty frequently in the homeschooling community, I’ve probably said it myself, almost unconsciously, as a reason for what we’re doing (as if you really owe some one an explanation, lol).

I think there is some error in that. The first is in assuming that hefty word: RIGHT.

It’s not that I don’t believe some things are inherently right and wrong. But many things wrong are done with good intentions, and I think that is often the result of a duality viewpoint. For example, “if sending kids to traditional “school” is wrong, then I am “right”". Some think time outs are “wrong” (”love withdrawel” we like to rename it – the Alfie Kohn er’s perhaps?) and others don’t (Nanny 911 crowd, cheer!); scheduled meals/bedtimes is wrong and others right (unschoolers vs Waldorfers, anyone???); circumcision wrong and others right (attachment parenters vs. Babywisers, holler!); you get the idea. (ohhhh, I just thought about some even more challenging ones for me: SUGAR, CONSUMPTION, and BREASTFEEDING! Aghst!)

Speaking internally, as well; inside myself, I wrestle daily with “that is the wrong thought. That is the wrong emotion” – assigning virtues to emotions that are so much more simple than all that I give them credit for. Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book Anger, says it well:

The foundation of our practice is the insight of non-duality, the insight of non-violence. This insight teaches us how to treat our body with tenderness. We must treat our anger and our despair with tenderness. Anger has roots in non-anger elements. It has roots in the way we live our daily life. If we take good care of everything in us, without discrimination, we prevent our negative energies from dominating. We reduce the strength of our negative seeds so that they don’t overwhelm us.

As I said, I do believe some things are truly right and wrong, in a universal kind of way. But there are very, very few things I think probably fit that bill. The rest is sooooo subjective. And certainly no parenting or schooling technique is so “right” that it ensures happy, well-adjusted, peaceful kids who excel at whatever they put their hands on and grow up to live a life of the utmost value (college, jobs, artistic or altruistic endeavors- whatever it is YOU the parent think is the utmost value, lol!).

I’m learning this, ever so slowly. The more life broadens the range of my community, I find folks and families who simply defy my stereotypes, who teach me something from a new perspective, and the more I recognize the importance of non-duality. All these opinions and choices exist in the same spirit of parents trying to do the best for their children, (often royally screwing much of it up – whether they know it or not, ha!) and by all different means and methods.

Practically speaking, I was just at my Radical Homemakers group on Tuesday and the subject of homeschooling came up. In the book, the author challenges some typical American assumptions, and one of them is this statement: “Education is not a fixed-cost”, i.e. deep, good learning can happen anywhere, in many ways, at all times, and does not have to be purchased (eg private schools, college, etc).

The group was about evenly divided on the public schooling moms and homeschooling moms, and of course I shared why even on the worst days when I feel like a total failure, and the best public elementary school (maybe in the whole state?) is a stone throw away from my house, I still talk myself down from enrolling Ethan in kindergarten.

And when you share such strong choices rooted in strong values with the world, it is so very important to love – always always love. And with that love for the people around you, you speak with respect for their different viewpoints and try your best to think through what your going to say before using words like “because I know what I’m doing is RIGHT”. Sometimes I do a good job with that, other times I totally fail and come off like the self-righteous hippie (you didn’t think I was aware of that, did ya?). But the truth is that I don’t think WHAT I AM DOING is RIGHT. I don’t. At all.

(I also don’t happen to think it’s wrong, of course. )

It, my friends, is JUST A DECISION. We humans make decisions based on many insights, influences, and factors, and then we do our best. And sometimes we change our mind. Move. Quit a job. Leave a relationship. Just choices. Period. End of story. (No arguing necessary.) Some seem right or wrong, only in hindsight we may appreciate the experience for all it was worth and have grace on ourselves and others who brought turmoil to life because of their choices. In the end, I believe God is the Author of our story and the Forgiver of our mistakes. Mistakes that might cause problems but often get us right where we need to be anyway. (amen and amen?!)

How I feel about homeschooling is deeply rooted in my experiences and knowledge and desires, and while I don’t mean it is “just a decision” to say that I take the choice of my child’s learning lightly (because believe you me, I don’t!). I know that successes and failures (poster children for every argument!) come out BOTH sides of the coin, so the less I concern myself with what every one else is doing, wants to do, or has done, and just focus on my home, MY space, those in MY family, the more I feel ready to make a choice, even when there are tensions (embrace them — they are all part of it, this little time here).

And when you make a choice, OWN IT. And when it seems obvious that you need to make a new choice, ADMIT IT. Be flexible, be tender with yourself and those around you, and be very careful to assume what you are doing is “RIGHT”. (hmmm, am I speaking to YOU or myself?!)

Until next time…

For the last month I have had my doubts about staying in the Ozarks. With the change of seasons, I’ve felt driven in my search for a “next place” that would have less Summer heat, humidity, and mosquitoes, (and with better soil). You know where all my research landed me? Right back where I started.

All the places I thought I might like better, upon further inspection, turned up similar or worse heats, humidities, and mosquito counts in the summer. And those that didn’t, well then your facing deep, long winters or some other trade-off – at the very least, land that is not in our price range (at. all.)

So many things to think about when your dream is to operate a sustainable mini-farm for the rest of your life

The Ozarks feature, among other things, beautiful rolling hills– very green this time of year. Driving out to Cave Springs to get my mother-in-law from the airport reminded me of that. There are many, many natural spaces we have yet to find time to go explore – so many rocks unturned. It would be silly of me to think we’ve been there, done that, with regard to NWA only 4 months in! Surely I have more sticktoitness than that?

I do miss the city life of Portland sometimes – the tea houses, yoga studios, parks, libraries, biking over the Broadway Bridge (PURE BLISS), or catching the MAX (though I always forget to think about the times I sat at a bus stop in tears of frustration and shivering from the cold because I missed the bus! lol) I also, of course, miss some dear friends I made there and the general vibe of the peer group and inner neighborhoods one could find community in.

Adjusting to a new place is hard, as we anticipated. Things don’t always go as smoothly as we hoped (like opening the waldorf-inspired playschool and having a less than idyllic relationship with my landlord as a result). But there’s a lot to be said for sticking things out, for staying put, and for making the best of where you are.

Sometimes the very things I am moaning about are the things bringing another person joy. The Ozark Homesteader was just writing about gardening in this heat, seeing it as a sort of detoxing season for sweating out impurities. I often come across, in my research for a “better place”, folks dreaming of a place with rolling hills, lakes and fireflies, and I’m reminded that indeed where I am can be any one’s “little slice of heaven” given a positive perspective (maybe even Pollyanna attitude) towards it (just as I did so love the misty rain of Portland that others not from there thought would be a major bummer). That’s why some love Maine, others Montana, others Georgia, others Alaska – I think you gotta soak up the good from where you are and find sustainable workarounds for the rest!

I think the bottom line, or a few of them, is that the region we are in offers the community of family and friends we were hoping for when sitting at our lonely Thanksgiving table in Portland, as well as the affordable land and scenic views we’ve dreamed about. The rest is just not that important.

Our mini-farm (my retirement plan, to be implemented within the next 9 years) is something I continue to learn more about and adjust to my particular area more and more as we recognize the need to stay put to realize our goals.

And many of you are like me – dreaming of the Someday House in the Someday Place living the Someday Life. And that’s all well and good, but know that so much can be done right where you are. From backyard gardens, chickens and beehives; to spending more time with family, writing, drawing, or singing; or learning to knit, make bread, or ferment Mead: many a learning experiences can be had before you are ever on that Someday Land.

Here’s to dreams and good ol’ fashioned contentment!

It was one of those clear, sharp, mustless days
That summer and man delight in.
Never had Heaven seemed quite so high,
Never had earth seemed quite so green,
Never had the world seemed quite so clean
Or sky so nigh.
And I heard the Deity’s voice in

The sun’s warm rays,
And the white cloud’s intricate maze,
And the blue sky’s beautiful sheen.

-e.e.cummings, “The Eagle”