Category — waldorf

In just over 24 hours, the year 2011 will be behind us. All of the events, thoughts, choices, growth, moves, meetings, struggles and successes will be closed up in a place reserved for “that year when…”

2011 was, for me, completely packed with changes. New: state, job, house, plot of soil, goals, community, school, and the minute details that are involved in each. It was very ebb and flow; for example, a long and lazy Summer, deeply experienced and meditatively approached, was followed up quickly by a fast-paced Fall with a vigorous work schedule and the re-awakening of driven choices.

One major choice was that of returning to further my education. As I wrote about recently, my first choice was giving me pause and I stopped to listen to that pause. I listened long enough to hear a gentle nudge in another direction, and discovered a Waldorf Teacher Training program in Wisconsin that partners with a local accredited college to allow students to also receive federal funding for most of the courses as well as eligibility towards a Masters in Education with Waldorf Emphasis. Being “only” 8 hours away, this solution was gloriously ideal.

I applied to the schools (the training institute and the college) and found out that Foundation Studies begin in 3 weeks! My head was spinning a bit, trying to merge all the logistical details into one semi-organized spot in my brain before brainstorming ways in which it could work for me to start on such short notice. Armed with the strength of hope, I got passed my fears and uncertainty about asking for help and sent out a “campaign” of sorts to raise the funds by taking pre-orders on my handmade goods through the Fall. Within 2 days I had enough orders to pay the registration fee, and within a week a few other generous donations towards other logistical costs (car rental, gas, food, babysitter, books). I was at once humbled and enthralled! The support of my community, both financial as well as emotional/spiritual, was opening a door for me that seems improbable if not impossible a year ago.

Next Friday night I will be sleeping (hopefully!) in a dorm in Milwaukee, having begun the first course that evening in my Waldorf teacher training. To say that I am overwhelmed would end 2011 with the understatement of the year!

The course itself, guided by the texts How to Know Higher Worlds (Steiner) and Meditation as Contemplative Inquiry (Zajonc), is definitely right up my alley and a part of my life that greatly needs more focus to bring my whole self into balance. To slow down and live consciously and mindfully has rarely been my strong point. My will and ambition often bites off a bit more than I can chew, and my fear of failing other people too often drives me to complete whatever I’ve set out to do — even when my health, home, and family are the sacrifice. If I am to become a teacher within a Waldorf model, then this is a wonderful place for me to begin — at perhaps my greatest personal struggle.

I have been repeating a Steiner verse to myself and to the kids often these last few weeks. I gravitate to the very thing I find so hard to do at times: find my Inner Quiet, my Silent Self… Christ in me.

Quiet I bear within me,
I bear within myself,
forces to make me strong.
Now will I be imbued with
their glowing warmth,
Now will I fill myself with
my own will’s resolve.
And I will feel the quiet
pouring through my being,
When by my steadfast striving
I become strong,
To find within myself
the source of strength,
The strength of Inner Quiet.
–Rudolf Steiner

2012 will quickly find me GOING – off to start this next adventure, trying not to be insanely worried about my kids back home! (aahhhhhh!) But my intention for the next year is not to be GOING so much. I want to become more of a human being, and less of a human doing. I want to have more time to notice what is right in front of me: when my garden needs water, or my kids’ need some cuddling, or my kombucha needs to be fed, or my sister needs a phone call, … or my body needs to rest.

Simply put, my sole New Year’s resolve is to better live in the present.

Happy New Year, friends.

I found this sweet list on The Center for Anthroposophy site about becoming a Waldorf teacher and had to share:

• Becoming a Waldorf teacher requires a willingness to learn–and so to teach–in an entirely new way. Rather than teaching students familiar answers, a Waldorf educator teaches them to ask unfamiliar questions. Instead of teaching from concepts to experiences or examples of these concepts–for instance, from rule of grammar to examples of the rule, or from a principle of physics to evidence of this principle in the lab–the Waldorf educator teaches the other way around: from experience to concept. Sometimes this approach is called the “discovery method” of teaching, or a “phenomena-based education”. This approach to teaching may take longer, but its results last a life time.
• To become a Waldorf teacher requires inner work and self-transformation. To be able to change children, one must first be able to change oneself. Charity begins at home.
• Becoming a Waldorf teacher requires a willingness to work with colleagues on an equal footing and to take responsibility for the school as a whole. Most Waldorf schools are run by their own teachers or those mandated by them to administer the school.
• To become a Waldorf teacher requires trust and patience: trust that the child will grow through foreseeable stages of development (some of them turbulent); patience to guide the child through these stages.
• Becoming a Waldorf teacher requires an ability not only to teach through the arts but to teach artistically so that each lesson is not only beautifully crafted but authentic. Most Waldorf classes are conducted without reference to a textbook, though students read widely in primary sources.
• To become a Waldorf teacher requires a warm sense of humor.
• To become a Waldorf teacher requires special training — first in Foundation Studies in Anthroposophy and the Arts; then in early childhood, elementary, or high school Waldorf teacher training; finally in ongoing Waldorf refresher courses.

I have decided to take a few extra weeks to think about starting my masters in teaching. It is a tough call because some, if not most, of the educational approach I would get in such a degree program is a contrast to the type of approach the student, teacher, and organization described above. I have more to think and pray about.

In the meantime, I am crafting up a storm for the holidays and having a blast! More on that in due time…

Oh, the joys of coming home with an armful of borrowed books. The Daniel Boone Regional Library is incredible, from its amazing selection of music to its old classic children’s books, it’s large section of things I love, like homesteading and knitting books — but add to that no limits and no late fees, and you got DBRL. I heart them.

Today I am pretty excited about the books I toted home for my winter break reading. Garden Gate will be closed until mid-January so I’ve got the full-time kiddo gig back again for the month. I am excited! We have St. Lucia celebrations tomorrow and a Winter Spiral at Garden Gate. I plan to do lots of crafting, lots of baking, and lots (LOTS) of singing.

Having already established a good stack of book’s for the kids this winter, (including three new favs: The Christmas Story Book, Fireside Stories; Tales for a Winter’s Eve, and Jan Brett’s new one, Home for Christmas), today was about mom (that’d be me).

Without further delay, I bring you my winter reading:

Seasons of Celebration; Meditations on the Cycle of Liturgical Feasts, — THOMAS MERTON (Okay, I named my bunny after this guy – I’m giddy about finding this one!)

A Simple Christmas; Celebrating the Old-Fashioned Way in a Post-Modern World — LORI SALKIN & ROB SPERRY

Holy Holidays; The Catholic Origins of Celebration — GREG TOBIN

Tis the Season Holiday Cookbook – MARY ENGELBREIT

Less is More; Embracing simplicity for a healthy planet, a caring economy, and lasting happiness — CECILE ANDREWS & WANDA URBANSKA

Be Thrifty (… Not Cheap) ; How to Live Better with Less – PIA CATTON AND CALIFIA SUNTREE

Organizing Plain & Simple — DONNA SMALLIN

The Candida Albicans Yeast-Free Cookbook; How Good Nutrition Can Help Fight the Epidemic of Yeast-Related Diseases — PAT CONNOLLY

The Everyday Low-Carb Slow Cooker; Recipes That Cook Themselves — KITTY BROIHIER and KIMBERLY MAYONE

They were out of the two books I wanted most: Rhythm of the Family; Discovering a Sense of Wonder Through the Seasons (Amanda Soule) and Simpler Living: A Back to Basics Guide to Cleaning, Furnishing, Storing, Decluttering, Streamlining, Organizing, and More. (But these two are also on my Christmas wish list… hint hint Mr. Ortecho )

So that’s where my nose is stuck — now, what are YOU reading this winter???

We have had our first snow already, though within a day or two our winter wonderland has melted away. I’m looking out at the street lights glinting off the last of the crunchy ice on the ground. Taking a moment to pause and return here.

I’ve been a stranger to this space and coming back always feels a bit like trying on my skinny jeans when they are starchy and cold from the closet. Will I still fit?

{update}

We have crowded around the table in our little kitchen and shared a grateful meal; grain-free (on GAPS diet currently) and full of love.

Our advent tree has been selected, sawed down by the family who will adorn it with handmade items. Our resident 2.5 year old likes to stand by it and sing, “O tithmas teeee, O tithmas teee!”

Holiday craft/bake sale school fundraiser has been miraculously pulled off without a hitch.


(I made the Indian girl in the foreground, as well as the wool felted red-head in the pink dress holding flowers, and a few scattered items; Jack Frost and Father Christmas dolls, felted wool and knitted ornaments, etc. The handwork group/crafting time this season has been incredibly sweet to my soul. The sale for the school went really well – a major blessing.)

We’ve done our first of the annual “Living Windows” holiday event downtown. Here’s the Robot Family Christmas scene in the window of Poppies:

Lanterns have been walked. Martinmas and St. Nicholas Day has been celebrated.

Chris has a new job! He is enjoying his new gig as grocery manager at Natural Grocers very much, though the bakery crew and customers still hold a special place in his heart.

Ethan is missing a front tooth.

Mr. Merton Pfeffernusse has gotten a haircut.

Christmas carols are being sung; Favorite, curl-up-under-the-blanket holiday tales are being told; festive teas and lots of homemade raw eggnog are being consumed. Indoor games of mancala, go fish, tic-tac-toe, hide-n-seek, explore-with-flashlights, and tent building are happening, with a hearty dose of outdoor play mixed in — until Jack Frost frightens them back inside.

And I, dear friends, am very busy at present with all this and so much more. So this space of words and thoughts and images — it feels too crowded to me at times. My gut tells me to stay away for awhile, to let the moments when I might otherwise come to this blog pass over me in quiet rest – in the sacred doing of nothing.

Warmest blessings to you this advent season… may you find moments where you have nothing to do but be.

mama.

So I said I would be here, sharing photos and tidbits, quite a while ago. See, I had this funny idea that once Ethan started school, life would slow down a bit and I would have more time in this space. HA! No one ever prepares you for the life of an involved mother with a child in a school community, even a part-time one, and especially a Waldorf-inspired one. At the same time, what better place to get involved than in such a pedagogical group that honors and protects, vehemently, the rhythm of the home? I’m fortunate to have found a place whose elders speak words of wisdom about balance, a slow and steady pace, and quality over quantity.

I have since become the administrative assistant and web master over at this sweet little school, which includes a lot of hurry-up-wait-slow-down’s as roles and expectations are crafted. I am enjoying, oh so much, my involvement at Garden Gate, from the handwork needs to the Steiner readings to the hand-drawn flyers for publicity — it is all so intentional, soulful, and creative. Even the goodies at the weekly meetings embody this experience of being connected to a living and organic system/organization; goodies like a pot of cardamon tea with a generous helping of crispy nuts, or almond butter and sliced apples. Each meeting is begun and ended with a Steiner verse spoken out loud together, and form drawing exercises to engage us. More times than I can count, I get this inner nudge that confirms the sentiment: I have found my people.

Ethan is likewise in his element. The four hours he spends with his kindergarten teacher and assistant, and group of about 8 other peers, is just the sweetest. He has grown by osmosis in many developmental mile markers in just these last 2 months. His teacher describes him as “so open”, as he takes in the oral-storytelling and Waldorf puppet rendition of the story, later acting it out at the end of the week with his peers, feeling deeply the stories and crafts. Outdoors he leads expeditions around the playground/schoolyard, showing all the younger boys and girls where to find the best bugs. At home Ethan continues to show more and more signs of 1st grade readiness and his 7-year change is definitely upon us. I am enjoying being his mother and feel in many ways like I have my child back, in comparison to the unbounded year of frustration our relationship experienced in Arkansas. Ethan sweet face is always so eager and forward, bright and friendly. Physical developments that I used to worry about when I would observe his “unassimilated” self are beginning to find resolution: he climbs trees constantly, hoola hoops, skips, swings himself, cuts vegetables, folds clothes, and finger knits. Next order of business is to tie his shoes Such important physical developments are indications to me — indications that he is indeed getting what he needs at his age, that is, no media, no academia, no extra anxiety, just the rough and tumble life of a healthy 6 year old boy! I attest through experience that Waldorf education is truly therapeutic — I can see why it is so effective for children with autism and the like. It’s slow, rhythmic, holistic, natural, tactile/experiential approach to early childhood is exactly what the children of this industrialized Western culture so desperately need (and their parents too!)

Verity is warming up to other children at the school in her time there during drop off/pick up, but will likely be home with mama until next Fall (when she’ll be 3.5). Her time with me alone has been very sweet too — we often get her an oatmeal cookie downtown and back at home she nurses and takes a mid-morning nap until its time to get Ethan at 1pm. This has helped her find her own rhythm and to be good and tired for bedtime (8pm). At last she is transitioning a bit from younger toddler to older, as she excepts storytime at night in her own bed next to Ethan, and I sing them to sleep from the rocking chair. Most nights, after I’ve closed the door behind me, there is minimal laughter and whispers and within a few minutes they are both fast asleep and off to dreamland after a full day. Early morning finds Verity paddling through the hall and climbing into my bed to nurse again, which I’m perfectly content to do. Transitions are hard for these little ones. We can ease out of bed sharing, for sure. Besides, I love that feeling of bringing her under the covers, noticing her chilly legs as she tucks them into my thighs to warm up and fall back asleep. She’s still just my baby in those wee hours of the morning.

In other news, I am applying for my Master of Arts in Teaching, hoping to begin classes in January. This venture will bring me full circle to my original undergrad major in Elementary Education, but this time I know my pedagogical interest and my aim is to some day work in a Waldorf methods setting where my own children are being nurtured and educated as well. Who knows what this will look like and when, but for now I am focused on accomplishing the training to open such doors. Since moving to Columbia, I have felt inspired to further my education (this is a very educated little college town!) and to challenge myself intellectually. I’m grateful to be dwelving deeper into Waldorf education in particular because of the emphasis on whole person (truly) rather than merely the intellect. The ideal is that the mind, soul, spirit, and body work together to progress the human experience and this is something I can get behind, not just for my goals with my children but for my personal, and even societal/communal ambitions.

It’s an exciting time for the Ortecho’s. Stay tuned…

Stopping in to this space to say “hullo!”

Has been a busy Summer in ways, not really so much with a packed schedule but in terms of keeping up with everyday life. My garden turned in for the season after battling draught and heat waves and chicken nibblings, so there’s been little to no harvesting this year save 6 small jars of blueberry plum jam. Ah well, that’s okay.

The highlights of the last few weeks have mainly centered around the ending of Summer and beginning of Ethan being enrolled in the 3-morning/week Waldorf kindergarten here. Lots to do before school starts, and when they say it will require community involvement they mean it! From parent work days (painting, polishing, scrubbing, you name it) of the school house and gardens, to home visits (yep – the teachers care enough to visit the children’s homes before the school year starts), as well as a (voluntary, of course) parent/teacher workshop this past weekend. Up this week is a “kindergarten evening” and a “family potluck” School for him begins next Wednesday. Agh!

Suffice it to say, I’m a bit immersed in this world right now. It is difficult for me to articulate just how much inner transformation has happened for me since I moved here, and especially this Summer. Having the TV/movies off the majority of the Summer has been incredible, and has created so much more time for meaningful books and yoga and a prayer life and time outdoors. I have really strengthened my will, my resolve, to tackle things in my lifestyle to reflect a more mindful and conscious approach to every day life. Rather than lofty goals and dreams for each day, I may simply get my bed made, make meals for the kids and I, read a book, knit for ten minutes, keep up the dishes, etc. These tasks in discipline are often more than enough to keep me busy as well as balanced, and leave me more open to observation of the kids and the needs of the family around me. I think the task of a homemaker really is one of balance and harmony, which is so hard when in my selfishness I would rather spend the day doing things I enjoy as an individual and just sort of treat myself to whatever I fancy doing. The kids bring me back to reality: boy, I really want to sit down and paint for an hour — oh, yeah, I need to wipe Verity’s butt. I’m learning, (really, I am!), to accept this and appreciate it for all of the wonderful lessons such a life brings me. I know the mothering of little ones is not forever, and at this time my highest calling is to be present to this home – most importantly its inhabitants- by creating a soulful, flexible, unhurried, creative, nurturing space for us to flourish. Not easy, but so worth the effort. And so much comes not in technique or knowledge or talents, but in simply doing the “inner work”; growing into the person whose light and love permeates whatever is around them. A lifetime’s journey!

The weather here in Columbia has improved quite a bit, with a few days of sweet reprieve here and there where highs are in the 70’s and 80’s (instead of 100’s). I have enjoyed the transitional phase into Autumn and look forward to Fall — HOWEVER, I feel this year that I have no sense of restless anticipation coupled with discontent and fatigue over the previous season. Rather, I feel I lived deeply into this Summer. I did a lot of hiking and lazy days at the park in the creek and ponds; I caught a lot of bugs (vicariously through Ethan!), ate a lot of Summer fruit, really let it all sink in and be experienced with gratitude. I felt myself submerged in water, felt hot sand and rocks on my feet, got a great tan on my shoulders, and wore out my flipflops. After the Sensory Delight of Summer I feel satisfied and calmly ready for the seasons change around the corner.

We head to Fayetteville for Labor Day weekend – we can’t wait to drive up that long gravel driveway to my aunts house and sleep in the dark, absolute quiet of her country house (so opposite our inner city house, with the constant cars, fire engines, and dogs barking, lol). Will be so good to visit with sweet friends and family before returning home to officially begin the school year.

Sorry no pictures in a while – it is so easy to leave the camera behind when trying to conscientiously live in the moment with two young children. I’m sure I’ll find a muse someday soon and pick up the ol’ Nikon again

I plan to be back this week with some insights from the parent/teacher conference last weekend – if I can even mentally and emotionally unpack it enough to share here. We’ll see…

Until next time, enjoy your Summer ending- live it to the fullest!

It’s been a while since I have shared pictures in this space. We have a bit of catching up to do!

To begin with,… Ethan turned 6 a few weeks ago!

::Here are some other Summer highlights::

The Summer nature table. (I need felted a sun and sun fairies with wool and hung them with a kool-aid dyed piece of silk.)

A contraptions set of wooden planks sent for Ethans birthday from his Nana is a daily example of how many things can be made for marbles with this relatively simple little boards!

Blocks cut and sanded from scrap poplar lumber is a much enjoyed birthday gift from Paw Paw and Maw Maw Su

one of our favorite spots at the park downtown. I sit and read and kids play under this huge pine tree or down by the creek for hours. We spot rabbits, squirrels, birds, bugs, and if you get there early enough, a wild bantam rooster walks around crowing!

Chris and kids explore the creek on Ethans birthday

Ethan on a trail walk this morning

a turtle discovered on our trail walks

huge water spider found at the creek!

fantastic beetle discovered on a nature walk

My summer seed collection on display by my desk

Verity continues to grow into a beautiful toddler, with golden locks, dark eyes, and olive skin...

Ethan tells himself a story about Blue and Yellow while doing some wet-on-wet watercoloring

What to do with old wet-on-wet watercolor projects? Make cards, of course!

Making sun prints in the backyard

Finished sun prints on display

Ver ready for the market with her mama-made knitted sun hat and a handmade dress passed down from our dear friend Misty in Portland

One of my favorite snacks lately: a fresh pizza dip for left over sourdough bread. Simply heat olive oil, garlic cloves, chopped tomatoes, and a jalepeno on a skillet with nitrate-free pepperoni or a spicy local sausage.. Add cayenne, chili powder, achioti, and sea salt to taste. Add fresh basil and cilantro, top with shredded raw chedder cheese. Yum!

Delicious oat groat cereal has been a morning ritual lately. Soaked overnight, the oat groats are cooked in the morning and then raw milk, raw eggs yolks, maple syrup/rawhoney, lavender buds, vanilla extract, and a pinch of sea salt are added to the pot (off heat). Ladel into a pretty teacup, and top with blueberries, blanched almonds, and ground flax seeds. Mmm...

Gladiolas in the sunlight

I meant to share a link in my last blog post about alternative schooling methods which is a blog of one of the veteran homeschooling mamas of the local book group I’ve been mentioning. She recently moved to live near her daughter who’ll be teaching Eurythmy at a Waldorf school in another state, but I had the pleasure of hearing just a bit about her story and meeting her daughter during our book group before they moved.

I found her insights into utilizing both Steiner and Holt (waldorf and unschooling) really insightful, inspiring, and quite a relief, and for those interested in trying to accomodate both of these methods into their homeschooling, you might too!

Here’s the link again.

Also, there is a series on Waldorf and Unschooling at The Parenting Passageway that I go back to again and again:
Waldorf and Unschooling
Waldorf and Unschooling – teacher/student relationship – birth – age 7
Waldorf and Unschooling – teacher/student relationship – the grades

Herein chronicles some rather unorganized, but no less sincere, and hopefully at least readable, thoughts I have about home schooling… at the moment.

As many of you know, my kids have never been to a day of “school”, and only just now, as Ethan has turned 6 last week, are we getting the question of “Oh what GRADE is he in?” or “What school are you going to in the Fall?”. I find myself having to begin knowing the most gracious and concise way to answer the questions, particularly an answer that satisfies and reflects who Ethan is, an answer he feels proud to use when questioned himself, so I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this lately (as if I don’t give it a lot of thought already, I know, I know).

(Our answer to “what grade are you in?” is made perhaps even more unconventional because in the Waldorf pedagogy, children at the age of 6 are in the crucial “Seven Year Change” and need to stay in Kindergarten through this year. Signs of readiness have begun, and will continue over the course of the year, but adequate time is to be given to the 6 year old to build up their “forces” so they are truly hungry and ready for the types of “main lessons” that will be introduced in the Waldorf First Grade year, after they have turned 7, rather than the mainstream age of 6 being that of the First Year grade).

In order to give myself less pressure this year, I am enlisting the support of the local waldorf-inspired kindergarten coop 3 mornings a week for Ethan. My goal is that I can focus on my own inner work, reflect on the direction I want to take in the coming year, and also strengthen my primary role as mama; getting more established in our family’s daily, weekly, and seasonal rhythms and connecting with the community and it’s resources so I am not “going it alone”, so to speak.

I hope I am not being overly optimistic here, but I have a sincere “gut” feeling that this year will prove to be a very successful one overall. I sense that I am where I am supposed to be, and that come what may, my experience here will produce tremendous opportunities, especially with regards to my direction with the children.

Contrastingly, I have had one really rough year prior; I have had tremendous doubts and confusion, about parenting issues and about educational options, and never quite felt like I found the answers I was looking for. I did feel alone in my pursuits while in Fayetteville, and exhausted by the feeling of going constantly upstream, against the current of mainstream educational philosophy. I also lacked the resources, like a car during the day, to connect regularly with some of the other parents in the community who might have had really like-minded beliefs and provided more support to me during that time. I had times of utter despair, even in the early phase of our landing here in Columbia, where I felt no other option was available to me but to put Ethan in public school as soon as possible, which was definitely for me a “last resort”. It was about that very time, when I felt I was at my wit’s end, that I finally got my “break” and met the local Waldorf-ish reading group, and from there things have taken such a different turn in so many ways I wouldn’t even know where to begin, but I think I’ve conveyed many of them here in other recent posts.

This has played a huge role in my determination to persevere with home schooling, and I suspect that without some sort of community-based support group, the experience of having a healthy, functioning home school (or unschool!) family would be incredibly taxing – if not impossible—and with ultimate burn-out. If I have any wisdom thus far in my very early journey, it is that finding a few strong fellow travelers who have been down the road further than you is absolutely crucial.

In any case, alternative education is rarely NOT on my mind, not only as a mother determined to provide my children with an experience outside of what the State is designed to provide, but also as a person who has always been interested in being an educator of some sort, but through beginning that collegiate training could not stomach the status quo and current state of the educational offerings available to the most of the public (government institutions, public schools namely).

I want to stress something here. It is not that I am anti-school, or anti-public school. In fact I would call myself a supporter of public school children/parents and any educator within the system that is dedicated to their classroom of children (God bless ‘em – I couldn’t do it!!!). I once read a remark in “And the Skylark Sings with Me” that resonated with some reasons I had personally considered for opting out of public education for my kids:

“In challenging public education’s mission, at least for our children, we implicitly call into question the entire administrative structure of school buildings, scheduled school days and hours and vacation, age-bound grade bands, classrooms with a prescribed number of children assigned, predetermined curricula, and arbitrary though strictly defined schedules for testing and evaluation. Taken together, these serve as the bureaucratic engine by which “adequate” educations are more or less produced; our experience indicates they have next to nothing to do with how children, how humans, optimally learn.” (italics mine)

For me, it was precisely the administrative “system” into which I would have to succumb to be a public school teacher that made me change my major. Regardless of how vastly different schools are from district to district and state to state, and how many amazing initiatives are happening in some public schools, for me the idea that my children would spend the majority of their time each day in that type of classroom environment, flooded with fake lighting and most always learning via bland, regurgitated, censored information in the form of textbooks was major turn-off. It was pretty much a non-negotiable for me that they need a much more invigorating, yet gentle and natural environment than that, and much more time spent at home, with family, and in their own pursuits.

When I thought about how I learn, and how I think all human beings optimally learn (and by learn I mean grasping ideas and concepts deeply into ones consciousness, not just rote memory), I came to the conclusions that: I learn at my own pace, in my own way, and perhaps most importantly – prompted by intrinsic motivation. Indeed, the fact that motivation is provided to public school students (and many other types of students, I might add, including the “school at home” brand of homeschooling) via grades assessments and rewards is a large pill to swallow for me; I believe it fundamentally alters the natural curiosity and desire to learn new things that children are born with, in a sense dumbing them down and utilizing behavioral motivation techniques useful for dogs and rats, but when it comes to the whole child well-being is simply NOT the best answer to the developing mind/body/soul.

(Yes, if you know me at all, you know that I do believe a child needs their “will” pushed along at times… I see a tremendous need for that in our current child-centered culture in fact. I admit I don’t exclusively trust in “intrinsic motivation” in each and every circumstance – which is where I differ from die-hard unschoolers, and where I find some aspects of Waldorf education a satisfying companion to my homeschooling ideals.)

My general thoughts about why I am opting out of public education is that I believe we can do better, and as parents/educators, we should feel called to do better (wherever we are placed, and especially those placed in the current educational system). Whatever schooling chosen for our varied reasons we weigh, not in the least of which comes down at times to simple economics at times – believe me, I know!, we simply must strive to give our children the types of learning experiences that enrich them to their core, at whatever opportunities we can find to do so, (and I have known some extremely awesome public schooled folks whose parents took this to heart and did a stand-up job supplementing them with deeper learning experiences in their hours at home, by the way!)

As for me, I recall too many days sitting in a classroom, listening to a lecture that was flat out uninspired and often not even all that educated, either reading my own material under the desk or writing poems or looking out the window at a lake nearby and wishing I could be out in the sun, feeling the wind on my face. Any real “learning” I have so far achieved, (and this sentiment seems to be shared by many parents who have decided to homeschool) has taken place outside a classroom setting.

I also began to realize these last few years that few (but important!) things are needed for the attainment of knowledge, and I don’t mean just book smarts but overall mind and life “learning” and preparation. Practical things, really. In no particular order, they would be: 1.) a community (this would include folks to live and learn alongside you, as well as cultural resources and mentor/teacher relationships, and finally service opportunities — and optimally community worship opportunities that provide the family with spiritual nourishment); 2.) a library/ or similar large catalog of resources; plenty of time outdoors in natural environments, having sensory experiences with things being studied; and perhaps idealistically I add, 3.) a rhythmic, nurturing home life (it doesn’t have to be perfect… but striving towards good rhythms, boundaries, and nurturing is definitely important!) I really believe these few things provide all one needs to obtain whatever level of knowledge they desire, and if given these, an unencumbered human will learn, all the time, for a lifetime.

Notice what is not on my list. Not special toys, educational or otherwise. Not expensive text books and curriculum. Not high tech gadgets, (I recently saw an ad for a school in which the students were all supplied with iPADS, which would be the learning tool they would utilize to the exclusion of all else — even proudly marketing that the students dissect a “digital” frog in biology! This is the exact route I am … pretty much vehemently against. I am not against technology by any means, but this is unnatural! How can one truly interact on a deeper level with the experience of viewing the inner physiology of a frog if they can’t access the specimen with any senses but their eyes?! I would argue that a good space to interact with wildlife –a state park creek is a fine example — is infinitely more valuable than a digital frog to dissect and label the parts! But I digress… few things annoy me more than expensive electronics labeled “educational”…)

Furthermore, history, if nothing else, has already done a great job in proving that brilliant thinkers, prodigies, and folks of various genius, (some in fields of science, politics, arts and humanities, and many just as adept at lesser-recognized but no less noble “fields” of child-rearing, homemaking, and community activism!) have not attained their means of knowledge via the government run educational system. There really isn’t, as far as I am concerned, any reason to speculate that it is the ultimate and optimal form of education – in fact I would say its not only unnecessary for the attainment of knowledge, but often the very system that hinders would-be brilliant thinkers. With this reason alone in mind, (though there are more), I never really see the point in the many questions that one inevitably gets once their decision to opt out of state run schooling is made known, questions such as “what if they don’t get properly socialized” or “are you really qualified to educate your children?” or, my favorite, “how will you ensure they are learning?” (as if they are EVER not learning, for one thing, and for another, I have many more doubts about their ability to learn in the public school environment than in their ability to learn outside of it!)

Rudolf Steiner, who began the first Waldorf School and which its subsequent pedagogy is aimed at mimicking, presented one alternative approach to the schooling of children:

“Steiner believed that conventional education stifled spiritual growth and led to dead, abstract thinking and stunted lives that characterize a society based on materialism.” – Rudolf Steiner, by Gary Lachmann

Waldorf education is built on a different assumption than that of Materialism (the philosophy that all of reality can be deduced to physical matter) – the main one being that a child IS a spiritual being, and thus the approach to the child’s learning is to nourish the “whole” child (as most would understand it, mind/body/soul — though some of you may realize that to Steiner there were more aspects to a person than just these three, lol. I won’t “go there” today).

Because of this view of child development on this multi-faceted level, the curriculum, if you could call it that, is structured very differently than that of state-run programs:

“Seven-to-fourteen year olds… are taught in a way that will nurture their imaginations, through pictures, stories, and other imaginative experiences. With puberty, the shift is to inspiration… when the ideas which were at first introduced in images can now be grasped directly. Then, with the age of twenty-one – recognized by many as the point of maturity, although, to be sure, maturation can and should continue throughout life – … the possibility of self-education arrives, which is the work of intuition.” – above biography

Now, this may sound a bit too much like the “age based” tenet of public school that I said is one of the problems I have with it, in an earlier quote (the previous quote was from an “unschooling” or “life learning” father, so that may help explain his emphasis). But what I wanted to get across in provided the insights of Waldorf education is that there is a intense aim at recognizing and nourishing the whole child, as they mature through each stage of development, and a keen observation of that child’s needs.

It is from this view of the child that I come to another of my main reasons to opt out of the public educational setting, or any that mimic it, because such whole-child needs can hardly be provided for in a large classroom setting, where an exhaustive amount of restrictions abound about what materials must be used, how they will get, if any, hands-on experiences to engage their studies with all of their senses, the types of meals provided for by the state, the types of dull, sub-alive elements (plastic, fake lighting, fake wood, etc) that surround them for hours and hours each day, — my list could go on.

The Steiner biography’s author sums up the point of Waldorf education nicely, I think:

“The central idea is to create a learning environment which can motivate live thinking and active imagination, and not the mere mechanical parroting of the lesson at hand…”

Many alternative forms of education has the above central idea, including many charter schools and private schools based on other pedagogies. I think that’s, well, that’s quite a start! If we could truly grasp this goal in our approach to education, I think the details would be less and less important ,and the overall values between alternative educational pedagogies would find a common chord. (And would that even public education be completely rebuilt and renewed with the aim of motivating live thinking and active imagination! Think of that!)

“A learning environment which can motivate live thinking and active imagination” is precisely what I want for my children, who, let’s face it, already have a Creator-given propensity towards “live thinking” as well as an “active imagination” – so my job is to ultimately nourish these current capacities!

And one last thought I feel necessary to add, is that of “end result” thinking when it comes to the decisions we make about schooling, particularly about preparation for adult life, future careers, or what college they will get into. I caution myself, and others in this journey, to not focus too much on this aspect of it, even if doing so is a bit against the grain. John Holt’s books talk about this a lot and I’ve gained valuable insight from them, freeing myself from the need to “showcase” my child’s achievements as proof that something I am doing with them is “working” (what does that even mean, anyway?!). Here I leave you with another quote from, “And the Skylark Sings with Me” that articulated this caution well, and culminates some of the thoughts I have shared today:

“I find there is something disempowering in the formulaic, “My Homeschooled Kid Got into Yale… and Yours Can Too!” genre, as it suggests that the learning experiences our children acquire today are intrinsically less valuable than those they might receive in the future at an institution more venerable than our backyard. We consider it important to resist the temptation to narrowly conceive of education as “preparation for life.” Children are living, breathing, learning beings in the present moment, and satisfying their need to learn is critical to their current quality of life, which has its own inherent value, whatever tomorrow may bring. If there is anything typical of my kids, it is, as of all children – unless or until it is ground out of them – their delight in discovery.”

The word discipline has been on my mind lately.

Since moving to Columbia and starting up discussions with the local waldorf book group each week, I have come around to my own spirituality and beliefs in a way I haven’t in a long time – or maybe ever. It is as though parenting, storytelling, Steiner, etc has opened up a back window to my house of faith, and this new entry carries with it many familiar sights and smells, but I am caught by the fact that there seems to be way less personal baggage from this route — the new angle has allowed to me the view from a different side, and I am grappling with tenets of life and faith in a way that is removed from some of the intention, suspicion, and experience of my past. Coming at it from this direction has way less cobwebs. It is a refreshing experience.

When I began to understand the power of story, particularly stories told aloud to children, in the book group and through what we are reading and doing, I was lead, (and I do mean “lead”, as I felt this unmitigated pull from one book/resource to the next, having the subject opened to me layer by layer without at first even realizing the correlations between each, ) to a short personal study on myths (i.e. Joseph Campbell) and then began to look at religious myths and the role these play in integrating mankind to their Creator, throughout history, throughout cultures.

What I once saw as fake, legalistic, empty, ritualistic, etc, I began to get from a standpoint of human development and consciousness, (and by no means do I mean that I now understand it is I am getting at here – I have only tapped the surface of this subject).

I felt myself drawn to the mystery of my own religious heritage, the history of my church, the stories of battles and adventure and reformations… and even towards its sacred text (the Bible), in much the way Brian McLaren urges people to read it, not as a “rule book” but as a “narrative”. I wondered why, if I celebrate and honor the sacred stories for other people groups as important, crucial, real, and magical for that culture – why do I not see my own beliefs in this way?

In other words, perhaps there is a different way to approach my faith beyond that of a passive submission, unquestioning and often too full of pride, folly, ignorance, and judgement, OR the other extreme; a dogmatic, theological discourse on every verse in the canonized bible taken literally (and an inevitable exasperation with that discourse that leads to living a life of fairly inactive personal faith, because I can’t help but feel like it is missing the whole point!). And that different way would look something more like the ancient stories of my faith, as archetypes, and that in embracing this story in such a way, I could experience the true elements of the story (of any story) in a deeper way (much the way I am learning to craft stories for the kids, and let them sit with a story, and let it resonate deep within their being in the way that Waldorf education promotes).

I have immersed myself this Summer with some of my old favorites, like Thomas Merton and Kathleen Norris. I have been reading about storytelling for children while understanding its importance for adults as well, through authors such as Joseph Campbell and Thomas Moore. I have been setting my listening preferences to things I would have never expected – Gregorian chants and chanticleer! I am craving something sacred and I am finding it, and it is lighting up something within me that has felt displaced and wandering for some time now. For crying out loud, I am even falling in love with liturgy! I have been going through the Morning, Mid-Day, and Evening prayers in Shane Claiborne’s “Common Prayer; a Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals” each day and finding them tremendously meaningful and beautiful. I have been attracted to monasticism, reading several books on monk habits, including the Rule of St. Benedict, and looking up local monasteries where I might go stay for a retreat and understand more about this way of life. In my desperation for liturgy, I attended Vespers at a Greek Orthodox church here in town. This week I rented “Of Gods and Men” and just balled – I felt such a kinship to the French monks and let the movie really move me in a deep way — (they really did a great job with this movie – you must watch it!).

It is pretty bizarre to me, this refreshed thirst. I have very little experience in a liturgical setting and most of it wasn’t pleasant. But now I can’t get enough. Where for many years I cringed at the word “discipline” or “ritual”, I now feel like it has been a crucial missing ingredient in my life. As I am beginning to see how a child needs his parents leadership to push and stretch his will, so do I need my own (strong, ahem) will stretched and pulled. I need to make my bed each morning. I need to do the dishes as soon as I dirty them. I need to embrace the mundane, tedious, sacrificial daily work of being a homemaker in much the same way that monks embrace God’s call to a life in constant communion with Him through the mundane and unglamorous tasks at hand. Each scrub of the bathtub, cleaning up of my child’s vomit, chopping vegetables for dinner, or the discipline of keeping my checkbook balanced and home uncluttered can be a prayer; can be a meditation on being in the moment, of sobriety and depth, of thanking God in silence and solitude or chaos and confusion; of the losing of my life in order to truly gain it. Imagine that.

It’s also been really neat to watch Ethan this month, and my own mothering, as a result of some of this searching… We have made certain times of day even more sacred, particularly bedtime. I began collecting poems, verses, hymns, etc awhile back which correlate for different times of the day, and different seasons of the year. It’s a daily journal, in a way a daily office, but for our particular family. Ethan seems to really relish the spiritual songs. After our nighttime reading (we have finished the first four books of the Chronicles of Narnia since moving to Columbia, and he just eats them up. He is loving Prince Caspian right now and asks so much questions about Aslan in relationship to Jesus… its very dear), we light a beeswax candle and I read a verse about the flame being our reminder that God hearing our prayers and lights up the darkness, etc, then together he and Ver blow it out and in the immediate darkness that surrounds us, we begin to sing the Our Father. From there we may sing other songs, like Take My Life, Doxology, Be Thou my Vision, and Let Their be Peace on Earth, his favorites. It requires me to set aside my impatience and any feelings of bitterness or exhaustion; I am extending my evening but I am gaining so much by laying in the darkness with my children and having a time of family worship before bed. I have often been shy and unsure about bringing my faith into my children’s lives, but lately I have felt compelled to infuse their childhood with this mystical and beautiful story, and to enrich the growth of their souls with the words of these powerful spiritual songs.

And tying in with this topic of personal ah-ha’s and such, I’ve been coming back around to the topic of community, and going through some hardships here in Columbia at what community shouldn’t be, how much I miss my communities in other states, and how easy it is to give up and move on when things don’t go as we would like. By no coincidence I am sure, I had read Life Together (Bonhoeffer) earlier this year, and just last night before bed read a quote from that book in another I am reading, “Monk Habits for Everyday People” by Dennis Okholm. It was left with me shortly before bed. When I woke up, ate some pancakes, and we all ventured out to try a new church this morning, what do ya know it, they shared the exact same Bonhoeffer quote in the sermon (and the experience of the new church was very encouraging and sweet — we have settled on calling this one our local church “home” and look forward to getting more involved, yay!).

Things like that have been happening all over the place for me. One little trail leads to the next and I see this little glimpse of the corner of the tapestry my Father is weaving for me, for all of us. It is a nice confirmation internally, to feel like you are where you should be, that you are experiencing (whether pleasurable or painful) the very thing you are meant to experience at this time. It is a comforting thought, and one that sustains me today, through unknowns and disappointments, and amidst exciting possibilities and beautiful new connections.