Category — health

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Our Puerto Rican style Christmas Eve was a great idea this year. We began baking the 21 pound turkey we didn’t get around to at Thanksgiving, along with a 5 pound pork, on Tuesday night. I can’t tell you how many garlic cloves I used that night. At least 30. Anyway, once all the good saucey Adobo mess was slathered on, the meats began slow cooking overnight while I finished some handmade gifts. Christmas Eve morning we saw a smattering of snow on the ground and again began cooking, this time to the groove of a salsa Christmas CD. The pernil asado was to die for – nice and salty and garlicy and limey, mmmm… And the turkey came out great too – falling off the bone to reveal the slivers of garlic shoved into the meat, the stuffing of ripe plaintains/rum/dates/cinnamon, and studded with olives. I also made arroz con gandules but had to come up with an old school method for achiote ( sauteing the annato seeds in oil) for yellow seasoning, so that came out kinda bland and not very yellow. I also couldn’t get the thawed (because they weren’t supposed to be!) alcapurias to stay together, lol, however the pasteles Chris’ aunt made were boiled to perfection. I also fried tostones (green plantains, fried, flattened with a plate, fried again and dashed in salt) and maduros (very ripe plantains sliced thick and fried for juicy sweetness). Chris made homemade Coquito which was, well, I had way too much anyway!

We had a great time relaxing with friends over our Christmas Eve meal (Christmas Eve meal is the big one for Ricans, traditionally – that’s what Chris said anyway!) We also have TONS of leftovers that we keep picking at.

After Christmas Eve early dinner we headed to Evergreen Christmas Eve service. Ethan sat intently the whole time, very interested in this gathering. He also was a total STAR (I’m his mama, I can brag) of the “I Saw Three Ships” children’s “choir” – oh he was a riot and had all the moves down pat. Later we drove (yes, our own little christmas miracle- a couple went out of town for 10 days and left us use of their vehicle! thankyoujeebus!) through Peacock Lane to look at lights.

Back home we read some books and left out Santa’s snack, while Ethan hurried to bed. I had the notion that I’d stay up again to 1am like I have been for weeks to get the last minute gifts done- I need to knit something for the waldorf doll I made him and stuff and sew up the knitted gnomes. That didn’t happen. lol I gave up and knew he would be just as happy to watch me knit “Coby” a sweater this week — (that’s what he has named the doll – who he’s carried with him all day and slept with and made best friends with his favorite stuffed animal, the dragon “Scorch” – I can’t tell you how sweet it is when they love the toys you actually MADE with your own bare hands. It’s so special!)

This morning felt very lackluster for me. For one thing, my cold took a turn for the worst (sugar and lack of sleep will do that to ya!), so we didn’t make it to the christmas morning brunch we had planned with some friends. However, Ethan was very excited to open his gifts from us: a ton of new wooden “people” and accessories, a waldorf doll with a hammock, pillow and sheet, thai yoga/lounge pants, an old fashioned locally made wooden Top in his stocking with a large all natural candy cane, a few colors of wool roving and a needle felting kit, a kids’ first knitting needles set, and some new chapter books; Charlotte’s Web, Mary Poppins, and Little House in the Big Woods. From grandma he got a cd player with a cd story book of Little Bear, and from an aunt/uncle he got a Go Fishing game. Verity made out with her new blocks we made her and a wooden rattle and BabyLegs from grandma.

While we were trying to find room on the camcorder to record this morning’s happenings, we came across Ethan’s first Christmas – piles and piles of wrapped presents and battery operated whats its. He was 5 months old! It was crazy to see that in comparison with how simple and even elegant Christmas has become for us: good food, good people, a few special gifts under the tree. Very sweet times.

Despite that this morning I was tired and cranky and felt no spark of magical Christmastime that I always have on previous Christmas mornings, I’m still delighted to see the kids enjoy this day. We had our traditional cajun beignets and mimosas (just OJ for the little guy – another novelty), and all three of us took a nap through the afternoon! Right now Ethan and dad are curled up on the couch watching Polar Express and he is sucking away at his candy cane. We are stuffed from leftover turkey and pasteles and eager to get back into bed on this chilly night.

Well, my matcha tea is calling, along with MY Christmas present – the book “Heaven on Earth” which I can’t wait to dig into! So I will bid you adeiu.

Merry Christmas, my friends. Let the Epiphany festivity preparations begin!

Brace yourself for a long post written by a lunatic who can’t sleep at 4:30 am.

I’ve been thinking this week about a particular conversation I had with some new sweet friends. They observed how odd it is to them that since moving to the Portland area they actually watch MORE TV, eat MORE fast food, and do more things out of convenience than they ever did in less progressive residences held previously. We talked about how in Portland, getting grass fed beef or raw milk from a local farmer isn’t such a novelty – in some circles its mainstream culture! Homeschooling, having all natural toys, example after example of how living in such a way is not special here, which challenges you, as a transplanted Portlander, to figure out what the real constructs of your value system is; do you do what you do because its trendy, because it sets you apart, etc — OR — do you do what you do because you value the earth and its inhabitants, you value nutrition and health, you value freedom and richness of educational options, so on?

In this conversation, some one remarked about how “living simply” is actually very complicated. You have to adjust to a whole new way of doing things. For us, living simply by having no car means we never have to worry when the Check Engine light is on. We never have to worry when we hear a funny sound. We don’t shell out $200 or more in gas and insurance each month. HOWEVER, living with no car is far from simple. Even in Portland.

To live without a car, for example, I must leave my house a full hour ahead of time to get to Ethan’s ice skating lessons. What would otherwise be a 10 minute drive, tops, becomes an Olympic endeavor to strap the baby on my back, brace the cold, often RUN out the door dragging Ethan along beside me to catch the MAX (only to, more often than not, barely miss it while waiting for the light to cross the street – thus being 15 minutes late despite my best efforts to leave an HOUR ahead of time.) Same thing goes for home school meetups, church on Sunday morning and other church functions through out the week. Outings, errands, and just plain ol’ shootin-the-breeze ventures will almost invariably FLOP without careful planning and purpose. Something like going all the way to Trader Joe’s for a more affordable load of groceries, but forgetting to get flea medicine for the cat at the pet store next door to Trader Joe’s is a tremendous oversight! You get all the way home and realize what you forgot to do and you might as well kiss your time goodbye because nothing is worth the 2 hour round trip again!

Or get this- going to the post office or finding a place to fax something. Oh my gosh. I can’t tell you how inconvenient it is along our common routes to do these things. A month ago I was set to fax a simple letter to my student loans lender in order to get my deferment processed, and you’d think in this day and age I could manage to get that accomplished in a MONTH but no, I haven’t. With two little kids, no vehicle, a job, homeschooling, and the bazillion things on my mind, finding a location to fax something has just not managed to stay in the forefront of my planning.

This is one reason that we are talking about owning a vehicle again, after 2+ years without. Also, the need we have for community while being so far from family is a pretty steep and crucial one — and the not having a car thing has been making it really difficult to participate in community. Hopping on the bike’s used to be a more viable option from our slightly closer-in locale, but a few miles out and an extra child and things get slightly more complicated – just enough to put that straw on the camels back. I feel like we’ve missed out on so much and have so few opportunities to get to know people in a church we’ve been going to for 2 years now. I can hardly ever make it to my favorite yoga studio, either, and I get free classes so – sheesh, what a bummer, right? I just can’t afford to lose the 2 hour bus ride round trip (when you have to take into account wait times) to a place that is less than 10 minutes away by car. But I digress…

There are other things, like eating organic and sustainable foods from local sources, that takes a large amount of intentionality despite that the efforts are in part fueled by the desire to live more simply. This week I took an hour or two comparing my organic produce buying options: this involved literally looking up the items on the produce bin that is delivered every 2 weeks to a cumbersome spreadsheet published by a distributor of large quantity/bulk produce from organic and NW growers, figuring out the unit price for each apple or pound of carrots, so I can effectively cost compare the options and make the right choice. When I order from Azure Standard or other food buying clubs, it takes time to figure out the savings involved in getting a 50 pound bag of rice verses a 5 pound bag of rice, deciding what we really need now and what we can wait on, yada yada yada. Like I said – these things can be complicated!

But what is interesting is that, of course, you do grow to see the extra hour it takes to get some where or the time spent planning bulk food buying as part of every day life. Some one from church a few weeks ago made the following comment to us: “I think about you guys sometimes and I always figure that for every 5 things I am doing each day, you guys can probably only get to like 2… which really makes me think about those extra 3 things my family does and whether or not we really need to do them!”

It’s true! We get a lot less done. lol No but really – sometimes getting to a place in life where things are simple and less dramatic takes concerted effort and — sometimes — blood, sweat and tears.

This aspect of my life lately has weighed on me as we discuss making some major changes. Not quite content with the way thing are going for us in Portland, this week we all but officially announced (that’s how sure we were) that we were moving to North Carolina as early as this Spring.

Yep, back up and read that again. We were practically CERTAIN we were leaving Portland. (And Chris is still sleeping – so he is still CERTAIN. But when he wakes up I’ll fill him in on the change of plans. )

Eventually relocating is still a possibility – actually it is pretty much inevitable. The combination of slightly pricier housing, lack of job market, and distance from family makes Portland a place that works for NOW, but not for EVER. Too bad too, because we love the city – its been a boot camp, a training ground, for so many lifestyle changes we wanted to make. It’s also been where we began recovery, started healing our marriage, had a baby, plugged into a home school group, so on and so forth. And if this week of research and planning has taught me anything, its that there ARE cities in the East that could suit us nicely. Carrboro, NC, for one.

However, our personal situation is, in some ways, quite unprepared to relocate. We have had something major to “do” for so long that staying put and dealing with everything that is catching up to us has been the very LAST thing we want to do. If we weren’t moving we were graduating or having a baby or something every year, something to press on, something to drive us forward to the next big crazy thing – sadly sometimes used as a nice distraction from the here and now.

The present is not something easy to sit in. Yoga reminds me of that. We set out with certain values and intentions and when the cast of characters and scenes becomes boring, tense, uncomfortable, frightening or disappointing, it is oh-so-tempting to place something before ourselves to reach for, to hope for, to work towards, to change things all up a bit.

(Briefly, this is also a theme of my homeschooling life right now. Reading about Steiner’s philosophies on the role of “inner work” – very good stuff and I’ll write more about that soon!)

My son is feeling the reprocussions of this not-so-pretty habit of mine. He asked me today to please stop changing things in his room and listed the various ways I have moved his furniture since we moved here nearly 10 months ago, lol. It’s true. The 10 x 10 room hardly gives me space enough to home school in and my discontent with supplying my child with a cramped basement room gives me cause to creatively unleash myself on its layout every few weeks. Poor kid!

As I continued to mull over this cross-country move, I finally just prayed for some direction. I laid in bed tonight and felt like the whole decision was confusing, not peaceful – not even very exciting. While coughing up a lung and unable to sleep, my restless mind churned the facets of our situation over and over until suddenly things began to get clear.

My roommate commented last night that for them, it is apparent that the two families are outgrowing the space. As much as I want to put a positive spin on everything regarding our community house (which I SO do that, constantly), I’d have to agree on some level. We set out to live amongst another family – to be in an intentional community. It pains me to realize how far we have strayed from those original goals – how we have kept to our corners, for no particular reason or starting point, exactly. I think the minute you replace “community” with “roommate” and see the home as simply a place to keep your privacy and split bills, it so easily becomes a situation where space feels limited and more and more of the home becomes “yours” or “theirs” instead of “ours”. Oh how I wanted this to be a place where my home schooling could thrive, where we broke bread together, where we all had a stocking on the fireplace and felt equally a part of something really special! I think for us, we really wanted something intimate and surrogate – something that had a lot of sharing of lives within the home, not just sharing the home. Maybe we can get back on track, if that is what both families want and need to do. Community living will always be something I want to embrace, regardless of the ideal space, ideal lifestyle similarities, etc etc. I guess if we all waited around for ideal, community would never really happen, would it?

This is yet one more great example of how this simple living thing is also very complicated and intentional! Community doesn’t just happen- it requires careful planning, lots of thought and prayer and talking and on and on. Real relationships must be nourished or else you turn around and the whole purpose has been lost. I know a few people going through divorces right now and I think the same thing. It takes a lot of work and time to cultivate the fertile soil on which a garden can flourish, (to make an analogy to gardening… hey, cut me some slack, I’ve been up since 4am!)

So here we are: where we never thought we would be. With the loss of Chris’ job we are forced to start filing bankruptcy while making plans for him to start school for his Masters. When I look at some of the facts of our situation, I feel pretty disheartened. Mainly because we tried to be diligent for so long – we always worked hard, we always paid our bills, somehow or another. It’s hard not to feel ashamed of how dismal things have become financially, but at the same time we are doing much better and more thoughtful and frugal things with our money than we ever have before. And while I don’t necessarily love this phase of our lives, one I might call “Recalibrating”, I do like the people we are, or at least who we are becoming. I like that our family loves each other, that we discourse about things that bother us rather than push them under the rug, that we band together when the going gets tough. Another wise friend told me a few weeks ago that these are the years we will likely be looking back on with much endearment in the future. How hard we struggled will be seen through rose colored glasses in light of the sweetness of all those good times we had while living on lentils

So here I am, over 2,000 words and 2 hours later (6am). The baby is up and growling. Chris is hitting the snooze on his alarm because he wants to get 5 more minutes of sleep. I suppose this is where the “in conclusion” part comes in… for those of you still reading!

In conclusion: I think we need to stay put. I think we need to deal with the bankruptcy, deal with the co-housing, deal with the vehicle, deal with the loneliness of not having as much of a community base. There are so many things to deal with – no more distractions. No more putting one foot in the next phase before we’ve completed the one we’re in.

The simple life we crave, one rich in quality time with each other and as few bills as possible, is – I am learning – not something we will come by in one new move, in one new house, in one new book, in one new baby, one new arrangement of a tiny bedroom, etc. We have to study produce spreadsheets, miss lots of buses, try out lots of living situations, deal with our debt, be content with smaller quarters, and face our giants squarely.

Deep breath. Now “publish”.

In our local home school group we are fortunate to have a healthy dose of diversity. We have families from all different religious/cultural backgrounds, including Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish and Agnostic. Personally, I celebrate that. I have found some really amazing mom friends in the group, people I would have never met had I only invested in my church community that is, for the most part, largely homogeneous (composed of mainly white, low-to-mid income, anti-mass church, fairly liberal, trendy, pipe smoking, wine drinking postmodernists and wanna-be-postmodernists and post-post-totally-over-it-modernists).

Family Art Night; Making Watercolor Wrapping Paper (baby asleep in background

Last week I went to a Hanukkah Party with our homeschool group during the day, and then celebrated Christmas with my church community that night. Ethan asked some interested questions about the two celebrations, questions that were, as usual, centered around Jesus and what He means to us, to others, etc. I am SO grateful to be having these conversations, to let his amazing little mind see the world as fluid and open and evolving.

Verity asleep by the electric fireplace in our room (yeah, it doesn’t get much chintzier than that!)

At the same time, I am grateful for my experience with God’s love, for the belief that Jesus is His son, yet one-in-the-same, and that through Him this crazy world that doesn’t make sense to me is comforted. When I listen to Christmas music this time of year, I’m not too jaded and cynical that I can’t still relish the words of adoration and praise. It resonates with my soul on the deepest level, deeper than anything else could possibly dare to reach.

Ethan painting a freezer paper stencil of his ladybug drawing onto his shirt

Again, for that I am grateful. I have had seasons of darkness and doubt, confusion and mistrust. Seasons where my “god” was deconstructed along with the pathetic portrayal of a life I had. Where I thought I had memories of life, (in my own denial), I was awakened to the contrast of death that was below the surface. Things I didn’t choose or deserve, yet there they were, in glaring reality that goes well beyond technicolor or high-def. Even in the confusion and anger at Him, I knew that He was a vital part of all that was happening. He’s in the Truth, He’s in the new found marital intimacy, He’s in the freedom and reality of husband’s (and mine’s) surrender. He’s in the miracle of my daughter’s birth, He’s the Protector of my little boy’s emotional development. The fact of our experiences with Jesus lead me to view this time of year with great, great joy.

Third Sunday of Advent

Growing up, I didn’t have Currier and Ives holidays with extended family and a house bubbling with merriment and myrrh. I admit, I would love to experience this picturesque holiday, and I might have come close a few times, but I think I’ve come to the point where I can also do without it.

Being in Portland has enriched our experience of times set apart for celebration and reflection with family. Striving to create a special experience for ourselves, particularly for Ethan, when extended family and friends with whom we have a rich history are 3,000 miles away has been really difficult but the challenge has been good.

Sweet happy boy

We’ve learned that Christmas can come and go without any visits to the mall or Target or whatever. We’ve dug in our heels with handmade Christmas, (Make Something Day, Advent Conspiracy, etc etc) and its producing a wonderful thing: an entire season of crafts and handwork and simplicity. This is our third Christmas in Portland, (and could in fact be our last if the economy here continues to make housing expensive and jobs scarce), so I am bittersweetly enjoying it. As always, we miss family and friends this time of year the most. Even in a place like Portland, and in a COMMUNITY house for goodness sakes, things are very quiet and lonely. Gotta keep the Christmas movies and music going to keep spirit’s high!

Ethan waking up from nap: hot cocoa and a painting session in mama/dada’s room!

Today, through coughs and illness, we are continuing our preparations. We have beeswax polish for Verity’s blocks and beeswax candles on the to do list, along with some decoupage. You can see some of our morning activities in the slideshow below – making scones and breads for soup!

Ethan and Chris christmas caroling in the rain

Later this week we’ll have ice skating and more crafts and knitting and sewing to finish up Christmas gifts. We also have very light homesteading duties this time of year: thawing the chicken’s water each morning and covering their run with a tarp at night — which is much easier than shelling out money for Paz’s (cat) vet visit this Friday. I am also placing an order with a new produce supplier to get organic produce directly from the distributor, with an average savings of 35% from the local grocery store (and hopefully our delivery bin as well). I’m crossing my fingers that the new method is cost effective and worth my extra time!

So, that’s an update, and hopefully more of a picture of how we view the holidays and happenings of Christmastime as a slightly unconventional Christian family:)

Here is a slideshow of still MORE pictures…
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Today is Dec. 6th, St. Nicholas Day, and as a family new to celebrating all of these wonderful Waldorf festivals, our day was quite an unconventional “festival”.

We awoke to make pancakes and playdough/cookie cutter ornaments for gifts and our own tree. Then we got out the Christmas boxes and adorned the tree, which Ethan was finally just old enough to be very excited about. He was so happy to put the star at the top when we were all done.

After our “exhale” of rest for quiet time, Ethan awoke to a snack and watercoloring images of St Nicholas while I sat with him and made a St. Nicholas doll out of wool felt, white wool roving, and a walnut (for the head).

Then it was dinner time, and we needed to FEAST! So Chris and I got busy in the kitchen and made up a new tradition and recipe for St. Nicholas Stew which we’ll look forward to every year because it was FANTASTIC!

And here it is for you:

1 onion, chopped and sauteed in plenty of butter and/or coconut oil, with spices: pinch of cinnamon, curry, cloves and nutmeg. Stir on low heat until onions are transparent.

Add:
4 cups organic free range chicken brothe
2 cans of diced tomatoes in garlic
4 pressed garlic cloves
1 tbsp of fresh diced ginger
2 large tbsps of natural peanut butter
(And give or take a nice selection of the following chopped vegetables:)
3 carrots
1 sweet potato
1 rutabaga
1 leek

Simmer until soft (20 minutes?)
Add (chopped):
1 cup kale (we used red russian- but whatever you have on hand. The red helps maintain a red/orange look to the soup)
1 cup cabbage (again, we used red. We just happened to have all these veggies in the fridge and needed to use them up, lol)

While that is simmering, add 1 can of Coconut Milk (not light) and salt and pepper to taste

The result is almost like an asian panang curry which was delicious and hearty on it’s own but could also be poured over soft brown rice! MMMmmmm… (optional: we also used half a slice of a very spicy pepper while simmering, but be sure to take it out before you serve!)

Tonight’s bedtime story will be the story of Saint Nicholas, a man who brought nuts and candies to hungry boys and girls in the night.

This week we’ll be making hand dipped beeswax candles to store up for the Solstice celebration, as well as beeswax polish for Ethan to finish off some natural “branch” blocks Chris will be chopping up as a Christmas gift to Verity.

I’m loving the holidays as a time of preparation and anticipation of the returning light, as well as craftiness and quality family time. I continue to work in the evenings when I get spare time on the kids’ Christmas gifts, including wool waldorf knitted gnomes, floor puppet waldorf dolls (for the nature table) and a larger waldorf baby doll (12″ probably), a waldorf hammock for the doll, as well as pj pants for both kids. Then there’s so much to do for gifts for others, some freezer paper printing and we need to ship – however will I finish it all? (Psst… it’s okay- I’m having too much fun with it anyway!)

Happy St. Nicholas Day!

If we bring an awareness of Advent to the home it still brings light and warmth to winter days. A wreathe, or simply the attractive arrangement of four candles on the table with red ribbon, a bit of evergreen, or pine cones, is a symbolic centre piece… Advent is a time of preparation. Children can busy themselves making cards and gifts… – from Festivals, Family and Food, by Diana Carey and Judy Large

Christianity stands as the external mystical fact for the birth of the light. Christ brought to the earth what had existed from the beginning, although it was hidden from mankind throughout the ages we have been speaking of. Now, however, a new climax was reached. Even as the light is born anew at the winter solstice, so in the fourth post-Atlantean period the Savior of Mankind, the Christ, was born. He is the new Sun Hero who was not only initiated in the depths of the Mystery temples, but who also appeared before all the world so that it could be said, “Blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29). When it was recognized that the Divine could descend into a personality, the festival celebrating the birth of the Sun Hero, the Christ, came to replace the festival celebrating the birth of the light.
…
All the great teachers of wisdom — the Egyptian Hermes, the ancient Indian Rishis, Confucius, the Persian Zarathustra — have spoken the Divine Word. In Jesus the Christ, however, the Divine Word Itself walked on earth in a living shape for the first time. Before this time there was on earth only the Path and the Truth. Now we have the Path, the Truth and the Life. The great difference between earlier religions and Christianity consists in the fact that Christianity is the fulfillment of the previous religions, that in Christ we are not concerned with a great teacher of wisdom — teachers of wisdom were present in all other religions — but with a human personality who at the same time must be revered as a Divine Personality. Herein is to be found the importance of the disciples’ message, “We have laid our hand into His wounds, we have heard His message.” The emphasis is placed on the appearance, on the direct impression. It does not merely listen to the word but considers the personality. The conviction prevailed that Christ was, in a unique fashion, the Cosmic Sun Hero.

If we comprehend this, we also understand that the ancient festival of the winter solstice signified something different from the present Christmas festival. In Egypt we find Horus, Isis and Osiris, the archetypal image of what also lives in Christianity. In ancient India we have the birth of Krishna by the holy virgin. We find echoes of this myth everywhere, but what is important in Christianity is what I have just expressed. … The most important event for the men of this age is the fact that the Christmas festival, which always represented the birth of an initiate, now represents the birth of the greatest Sun Hero, of Christ Himself. Thus these two facts of necessity sound together in the world’s course.”
- Rudolf Steiner, 1904, Signs and Symbols of the Christmas Festival: Part 1: The Birth of Light

Ethan creating advent candles from sheets of beeswax for the dinner table Advent celebrations this month

The official Advent dates for 2009 are:

* First Sunday of Advent (Sunday, November 29, 2009)

* Feast of Saint Nicholas (Sunday, December 6, 2009)

* Second Sunday of Advent (Sunday, December 6, 2009)

* Immaculate Conception (Tuesday, December 8, 2009)
Holy Day of Obligation

* Our Lady of Guadalupe (Saturday, December 12, 2009)

* Feast of Saint Lucy (Sunday, December 13, 2009)

* Third Sunday of Advent (Gaudete Sunday) (Sunday, December 13, 2009)

* Fourth Sunday of Advent (Sunday, December 20, 2009)

* Christmas Eve (Thursday, December 24, 2009)

* Christmas (Friday, December 25, 2009)
Holy Day of Obligation

Here is a wonderful article outlining the winter festivals within the Waldorf home school.

This weekend marks the Feast of Saint Nicholas and the coming post will talk a little more about that! Stay tuned…

Enjoy recent pics:

Ethan and I ice skating this week

I awoke to find Ethan’s morning alone time activity: building a bonfire for his “friends”

Just off the needles: slouchy beanie for mama

Ethan helped me with gourmet homemade pizza on family movie night tonight

My first waldorf doll, a floor puppet

Verity in her cutie vintage thrift store bonnet

Ethan’s playtime activity- his nature arrangement of winter elements

I feel this week as though so much has changed. A simple, yet profound, shift has taken place. Will it last? Dear God, I hope so.

First of all, I have home schooled. Really home schooled. It’s been a long time. Since before we moved into the community house nearly, what, 10 months ago. Does this mean we did worksheets, flashcards, field trips and quizzes? No.

This week: Ethan made bread. He made Advent candles. He started ice skating lessons. He watercolored his heart out. He played with his nature table for HOURS each day. He didn’t watch TV and stopped asking for movies. He started taking 1 hour naps at the same time each day. He started whining less. He started reasoning with himself rather than arguing with us for the heck of it. He didn’t fight much at bedtime. He used his imagination. He learned new songs. He played outdoor games. He fell more in love with his sister. He fell more attached to his stuffed dragon, Scorch (who now comes everywhere, even ice skating.) He also enjoyed mama’s raw milk hot cocoa every day after his nap. His low point was a boy fight with a friend on Monday – the next time he saw him, however, I heard him say, “Let’s not fight anymore, okay? I really want to play good with you.”

Another endearing thing he said: “Mama, wow. God gave you really special eyes. They are beautiful. Like the inside of kiwi berries.”

He’s ran up and hugged me out of sheer excitement and joy several times a day. We’ve bowed a namaste to each other to share a moment of appreciation, a new “bit” we share.

This week: I spent time with my son. I gave him my attention. I mustered up more energy. I took two yoga classes. I didn’t work much (sigh. the tradeoff? I hope not…). I knitted two waldorf wool gnomes and made one floor puppet waldorf doll for Christmas presents, purchased an amazing wooden kitchen set made just this week by a local grandpa woodcraftsman to gift my children with for Advent/Christmas morning, made lots of soup, made lots of simple oatmeal cookies, made my FIRST loaf of bread in the oven, finally ordered a copy of All Year Round, ice skated with my son for an hour, and oh so much more. When I wasn’t with the family I was either working or feverishly crafting for the holidays. It’s been a tad glorious.

I also moved to a new blog, but kept the archive for mamaneedjava. In many ways I had outgrown that skin. And staying in it was holding me back creatively. The theme was too scattered and it wasn’t growing with me as I’d hoped. The audience was scattered, too. As delicately as I can put this, I must admit that I am now writing for an audience of peers, not extended family members simply looking for an update on the kiddos.

You see, MamaNeedJava began as an experiment in three things: 1. to exercise my writing, 2. to record mine and my childrens’ happenings, and 3. to integrate all of the various aspects of myself, the different “parts” I show and play for different people in my life, into one open-book, transparent, what-you-see-is-what-you-get-Vivian. And I’m so glad I did; It was a great experiment. It DID do all of those things for me. It totally fulfilled its purpose.

But now its time to scale back. Now its time to be vulnerable and transparent, but with more freedom and purpose. I can send photos and updates via email, but here, at Mama Seasons, is where I journal. Here is where I explore my limits, reflect, and set intentions. I want Mama Seasons to be for me another yoga mat; a place all my own, where I can feel weighted as well as the weightless, where I can feel as small as a child and as strong as a warrior in a matter of moments, where I can even doze off if I want to. I want this blog to be a safe place for me to do all this. A place where insecurities of others isn’t blasted into my comments nor the concerns of well-meaning parents show up in my inbox. This isn’t the place for that anymore. This is more intimate, more private. Please respect.

This is the place where I walk the path, and where ever I am is okay. This is the place where I spot “findings” on the side of the trail and bring them here to share with the walkers beside me, in mutual appreciation for this journey’s highs and lows.

As I continue to format and update the new blog, enjoy old entries of MamaNeedJava (with a grain of salt ), and look forward to picturesque moments caught on camera, Advent thoughts and ideas, and other Mama Seasons findings for the month of December.

Life this week has been slightly run of the mill. We had a really good conversation on HOPE in our packed living room for Home Group on Tuesday night, which was probably the highlight thus far. I’ve been able to do a little more with Ethan these last few days and work more at night, which is good in some ways. We took a walk and collected some branches and holly and rosemary and have plans to do some sort of seasonal “tree” along with a wreath of holly and herbs and pine cones and so on. But then its been too rainy to work on it so our treasure pile is sitting outside in the drizzle

I worked on making him a wall cozy from scrap fabric and one pine branch I found with a few pinecones still attached as the bar. It’s pretty cool! It holds his doodle pads, chalk board and white board, colored pencils flash cards, etc. I got the idea from my new copy of Amanda Soule’s Handmade Home (which I heart (almost) as much as The Creative Family.) I painted a little fall tree for kicks.

We also moved the rocking “couch” to his room, under his bed, as a place to snuggle on rainy days. I think these new additions to his room prepare us more to hunker down in there through an unschooling winter Right now we are somewhat learning about cowboys and indians, as we continue to work on reading skills.

The minute October heads out, winter begins to head in. It’s chilly, but not overly so. Right now the November wind is really picking up outside and with a cracked window in the living room I am listening to our wooden wind chimes. Verity is sucking on wooden blocks on the carpet and Ethan is screaming, “I’M DOOOOOOONE!” from the bathroom (still wants some one else to wipe his rear end.)

My throat is swollen and my sinuses are funkdyfied — I’m praying I get over the start of this cold fast, but something in my body says I should gear up for my first flu rather than be too hopeful. I’m forcing down water with Wellness Fizz (homeopathics), Lacey’s AMAZING raw honey cough syrup (raw honey, essential oils, and herbs), and citrus Kombucha, and Kefir (probiotics), and warming spices and antioxidant rich fruit salads and trying to do a little yoga here and there to flush out toxins. I’ve got a light day tomorrow so I’m hoping I can just recover rather than get worse.

Immune Boost Tea is brewin:

Homemade Chicken Stock is simmerin:

We also just picked up our monthly azure order tonight and I thought it would be fun to show you guys what the fridge of an 8 person household looks like. With 4.5 dozen eggs, 5 pounds of dates, several gallons of raw milk and kefir, 1 gallon of raw apple cider vinegar, a large assortment of produce stuffed in the bottom bins, lots of soup left overs from dinners, a freezer stuffed with frozen fruit for smoothies, frozen local meats that were on sale, so on and so forth- things get a *little* full in there.

The interesting thing is that we don’t really have a pantry. We have several shelves in the cabinets for smaller containers of our bulk ingredients (whole wheat flour, nuts, yeast, what have you), but very little “consume NOW” foods. I try to get things like that from Trader Joe’s. I recently discovered 2 products from TJ’s that I am a huge fan of: Glutein-free brownie mix that is delicious and only 2.99. It is made with organic brown rice flour, organic evaporated cane juice, cocoa and pretty much nothing else, lol. Awesome! The other thing is Ay Say (I need to check on the spelling) but they are crackers made with very simple, all natural ingredients. They are delicious and only 1.29 a box (so suffice it to say we get like 10 at a time). These are both great alternatives to healthier brownie mixes and crackers at places like New Seasons, where one tiny bag of groceries is $60! lol

Anyhoo. So…yeah. Until next time!

Sometimes I feel like the Grinch. A grumpy, cranky, irritated, impatient, selfish, angry old Grinch. Oh wait, that’s not just sometimes.

But, you see… it’s not Christmas that I despise. It’s not the noise of all the Who’s down in Whoville. It’s the noise of my life. The constant barrage of noise. Some of the noises aren’t even audible.

Yesterday we had the house to ourselves for the afternoon, the housemates out at their parents for the day to celebrate Halloween. I felt really excited about Halloween and very grateful for my family.

THEN…
The following took place within 5 minutes:

I sat down, happy as a clam, to start knitting a new project. The cast on was “provisional cast on” method, something new to me. I clicked on a little video to view the demonstration and I was a little baffled. Frustrated, I turned up the volume a bit and tried to concentrate a little harder. I had finally gotten Verity to sleep just minutes before and I could feel the familiar sense of impatience with myself creep up, knowing I had only so long to “myself” before she would wake up again, or Ethan would need something, or a chore would need to be done, or food would need to be made, or an event would need to be prepared for, … etc.

Ethan was watching a movie and apparently not so happy about things the fact that he could hear my 2 minute tutorial video from my laptop across the room. He started raising his voice asking me to turn it down so he could hear his movie. I was engrossed and determined to steal a few minutes for myself to learn something new, so I didn’t even register WHAT he was saying. All I could register was a whiney, demanding voice that was ruining my thought process (and what else is new?)!

To make sure he was heard, he got up from his spot and got right in my face, abrasively coming directly between my video and I, repeating like a broken record something about my video interrupting HIM!? (The nerve!!!) In a frustrated, Grinchy instant, I snapped. White flashed before my eyes and I stood up, raised my face to the sky like a wolf and SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAACHED. An octave away from a dog whistle, let me tell you.

The baby woke up, of course. Ethan started crying and ran off to his room, of course. I felt like a total failure, of course. Chris looked at me like I was a wild woman, of course.

Emotional exhaustion is all that follows my Grinchy moments. It’s the pits. The worst feeling. I have to go back and smooth things over, explain, apologize, take responsibilty and make amends. Try to move on, try to start anew. And I’m always ten times harder on myself about it than anyone else is. The kids seem to have bounced back within seconds, while I am still realing over my mistake.

It seems only full-time, stay-at-home parents seem to be able to relate to the truly grueling job of 24/7 noise and needs. Those days that you have to take as long of a shower as possible because that is literally the only time you will have to yourself all day (or in a couple of days!!!) I can’t even begin to imagine the HOURS that other adults have to themselves. HOURS?!?!?!?! Um, am I green with envy yet?!?!?! You mean you can watch a movie without interruption? You mean you can drive somewhere and just listen to music? You mean you can read a book for more than 5 minutes? What is this life you speak of – IS IT REAL? Will I ever have it again?

It has been FOUR. LONG. YEARS. Four years of being around at least one young child for all or the vast majority of EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Folks, I can’t even poop in peace. He will be barging in if I forget to lock the door or BANGING on the door if I remember.

Where are my boundaries, you might ask? Right where they should be, thankyouverymuch. I do tell him when I’m tired or when I’m angry. I walk away when I can take no more. I tell him I need space when I need a moments peace. I institute a “quiet time” every afternoon and on good days, he actually takes it willingly!

But then you throw a baby in the mix. Boundaries with a baby? LOL

And then you throw in a full-time work load FROM HOME.

And then you throw in chores, and meals, and counseling, and homeschooling, and outings, and… ???

The noise is constant. And in my worst moments, my response is utter Grinchyness. Suck. And the worst and best part is that I KNOW BETTER. I know I can choose my response, I know I can manage my feelings better. But practicing inner peace despite the crazy demands around you is an entirely different matter.

But let’s digress and move on to a related topic:

Today Chris and I got three GLORIOUS hours away from the kids, (whom we love so much and never want to leave them BUT boy are the breaks refreshing with a capital R!!!)

We signed up for a co-ed spa day at MamaZen. Three hours. Granted, the way there was stressful. We were late, trying to leave the babysitter with everything she would need for 4 hours with a nursing infant and 4 year old. We got on the bikes and raced the 4 miles or so to the yoga studio. It was hilly. I was out of breath, my thighs were screaming at me, and I was disgruntled and cold and pissed that I’m always late to things. Then Chris’ reflector broke and spewed out at me behind him. Everything took too long. I felt like a total idiot for the life I lead on my freaking flipping bicycle. F-bombs were murmered. Tears even escaped my eyes. Yep, lovely bike ride to spa day.

But don’t worry, it gets better.

Hour one: a yoga practice of extended, gentle poses and guided meditation, meant only to increase awareness and release tension, deepening into relaxation. The yogi had wonderful, beautiful things to say, things that seemed so poignantly related to my life. At one point he said, “We are always assuming that the harder we try, the better we are doing. But what about trying SOFT?” I wanted to cry. What am I paying a counselor for – this freakin’ yoga class was therapy!!!

Hour two: Tea service, complete with sandwiches and tea and mimosas. I cuddled up in my blanket in a chair next to Chris on the porch and zoned out, silent almost the entire hour.

Hour three: Seated in some kind of crazy ergonomic reclining chairs, we were covered with blankets in a circle in the room, a lavender eye pillow on our faces, hot peppermint tea refilled constantly on the night stand beside us. A LIVE HARPIST played soothing music and I just ZONED some more. I saw myself as a strong tree in the fall, allowing and accepting the autumn winds which would rid me of my weight, as the leaves fluttered effortlessly to the ground in time with the harpest’s music. I went deep into my thoughts for the first time in maybe 7 or 8 months. During this time we received hand and feet massages, and our time ended in upright position with hot salt mineral foot bath in a private bowl of pebbles and floating flowers. Nice…

Yes, it was back into the harsh reality of our life – hitting the bikes in the dark; very cold, to trek home. It was invigorating and I tried to welcome that, but my life is so stimulated and invigorating ENOUGH that it was hard to really embrace a cold bike ride home, even through beautiful neighborhoods and silent streets.

I sit here having a bowl of popcorn and a glass of red wine, trying for the first time in far too long to write out my feelings. But this post is pushing 1,200 words and I feel I must leave it here. I’ve recorded a little of my life and the rest will come, in time.

I have been at a loss these last few weeks – a loss of what to share with you all. Not just on the blog but often in person as well. I feel like all the little munchkin workers running the factory inside my brain have all caught a cold; Everything is a little slower. Harry called in sick and Margaret is complaining about her migraine. Come on, Brain People, get to work!

I have tried a few times to bring you a new and interesting post, and each time I managed to get my wheels turnin’, my brain just said, “fart.” I’m not even kidding. I wish I were. I even think what came out had a bit of foul odor.

Is it motherhood? The constant lack of quality sleep? The ferocious amount of mental energy it takes to keep all the balls spinning on each and every finger of my hands (and the one I balance on my head too!)?

It’s not that I haven’t had anything on my mind, though. Just the opposite. SO.MUCH. Where to begin? How to carefully divulge — with what amount of vulnerability am I willing to risk?

On one hand, I could start and end with the daily hum drum of my life: What I did this week, how yoga is going, how my diet is going, how my marriage is going, how the kids are doing, how homeschooling is going, how work is going.

To all those questions, I would describe things as “just fine!” Nothing newsworthy, which is often a good thing. The week has been fairly balanced, I am still loving yoga even though I wanted to cry when my body would not do an inversion in dolphin position this week (don’t you love how yoga brings out those emotions, showing us how hard we can be on ourselves?!) I’m eating well enough. My marriage is having a good week, we’ve talked a lot and bla bla bla. The kids are good, though Ethan still drives me absolutely bonkers. (The phase he is in is the “DEMANDING” phase. Holy cow. Talk about stressful.) As you could see from my last post, Verity is doing great, already crawling and getting into every little thing. Homeschooling is a lot more like “unschooling” these days since I have been working quite a bit. Last week we went with the homeschool group to the Sauvie Island pumpkin patch and today was the Halloween Party (Chris, Misty and I went as Bollywood stars, Ethan was an alien — thanks to the crazy mother who stayed up all night knitting him a green hat to make into an alien costume…). Work is work. Between 3 clients and another 3 folks I “barter” my services for, things are busy, busy, busy. I’d say the category of “work related” stuff I do each week is teetering on over-time (i.e. 40+ hours/wk), simultaneous with my work as a mom/wife (160 hours/wk). I just keep telling myself that one day, rest will come. One day, the kids will be a little older. One day, Chris will bring in more income. One day. And I don’t say that in a woah-is-me voice, either. I truly am hopeful for that one day. If my dad harped on anything, it was the phrase, “This too shall pass.” Sweet Jesus, how true.

Then there’s all of those thoughts and questions which my mind just turns and turns and turns, until everything inside it is sweet n’ creamy butta, baby. Short and long term financial goals, mine and Chris’ strengths and weaknesses, personal triumphs and failures, which learned roles I take on that I really don’t have to, why I so easily slip into survival mode, why I can’t let go, where we’ll all be in 5 years, will Ethan and I ever be close again, will I ever be able to homeschool the way I want to, why I feel the need to not just deliver but IMPRESS, why I’m all of a sudden disgruntled with our choice to be carless, why we are always broke within a week of a paycheck,… all of these and so, so much more.

More things like new herbs I’ve learned about, new projects I’m knitting, how our new homegroup is growing, if and how I fit into the body of Evergreen Community, my frustration at the sewing machine for wrecking up the pillow covers I’m sewing –

WILL IT JUST SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT I’VE GOT A LOT OF POTS ON THE STOVE?!

Yep. That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

This has become a novel, hasn’t it? One big brain fart of a novel. And I didn’t even tell you the details of what I got out of the Betrayed, Redeemed Conference last weekend or anything else of significance in my life lately. I guess I’ll just save that all for a rainy day.

K, I just looked outside so I’ll rephrase that: save that all for a DIFFERENT rainy day.

Cheers, and happy almost- all saints day (stole that off of 30 Rock last night. That and “Good God, your breath! When did you have time to eat a diaper that you found on the beach!” …Ha! Cracks me up…)

Last week I shared some tips on how to get the sleep and rest you need to fend off unwanted flu season bugs. This week, I’ll go through a few more herbs for immune system support and make my way to the herbs for when it’s too late and you are ALREADY sick. These herbs don’t just mask your symptoms, they help you help yourself by stimulated the various systems of your body that are functioning sub par. By supporting your body, you strengthen your natural defenses, get over the cold sooner, and bonus – are less likely to catch something next time!

Herbs have been in use as medicine for centuries and in many ways have served as the foundation for modern medicine. Here at the house we use herbs as teas, tinctures, and essential oils. (For what its worth, our health is also aided by the use of probiotics in the form of homemade kombucha and kefir, as well as unrefined coconut oil and high quality cod liver oil on a daily basis.) In the last month, several guests have come and gone through our home only to find out later that they were just getting sick at the time they visited. In our church alone, it seems everyone is ill, one person even has a terrible case of swine flu. Yet the 8 of us have so far remained unscathed by the viruses and bacterias that have made their way around us. (Lacey is constantly reminding us to take an essential oil called “Thieves”, a blend that has been shown to kill airborne viruses and bacterias when diffused.) Is this really just a coincidence? Of course not.

So this particular post takes a look at herbs in the form of essential oils that can be used for colds/flus/infections. My roomate is the essential oil guru, but the more I hear testimonials and read the studies, the more convinced I am of how powerful these oils can be as medicine. As one article put it:

The household, medicinal, and prescriptive uses of essential oils are described in some of the most ancient records known. The history of herbal science, as reconstructed from a huge body of public and private records, chronicles man’s development and application of the arts of medicine, healing, disease prevention, and pest management. … essential oils continue to be used, today, in each of these arts, and for a myriad of diverse applications. In light of all this, it seems paradoxical that herbal science is not championed–or even respected–everywhere, or by everyone. Unenlightened “experts” often equate the use of essential oils to quackery, old wives tales, and the brews of witches. In fact, some of our most authoritative professional associations, particularly in the fields of medicine and pest management, have lent support to that equation despite a mountain of easily verified facts that tells quite another story. In medicine alone, over 25 percent of today’s most valuable prescription and over-the-counter drugs contain, as key ingredients, herbal extracts.

This article explains:

A study (J Infect Dis, Dec 1990; 162(6):1277-82) showed that people who take aspirin and Tylenol (acetaminophen) suppress their body’s ability to produce antibodies that destroy the cold virus. This actually causes the body to take longer to fight the cold and it accounts for any secondary infections and post-nasal drip. …

Colds can be contracted as the result of contact with more than 200 different viruses. However, among all of the cold viruses, the rhinovirus and the coronavirus cause the majority of colds. Each time you have a cold, it is caused by a distinct virus – e.g. adenovirus, rhinovirus, parainfluenza virus, and coronavirus. Viruses are much smaller than bacteria. They are tiny clusters of genetic material surrounded by a protein ‘wrapper’. Medical science currently does not have any drugs that can kill these viruses. Antibiotics, including penicillin, do not have any effect on viruses. They are only used to treat secondary bacterial infections that can further complicate the effects of a cold. While orthodox medicine does not have the answer for colds and ‘flu’, nature does – it comes in the form of pure organic unadulterated Therapeutic Essential Oils. Why? Because they are made up of very high frequency molecules (ranging from 52MHz to 320MHz) and contain nature’s wisdom and power to raise the body’s frequency and to assist our immune system in fighting viral invasions.

For greater clarity, organic Therapeutic Essential Oils are not the same as everyday aromatherapy oils, which are produced for fragrance and other purposes.

We now know that, in order to prevent colds, we need our immune system to be working in top gear and our overall body frequency to be in its optimal range. Our optimal range of body frequency can be lowered by negative thoughts/emotions, stress, blood chemistry imbalance, and ingested chemicals, which allow us to contract colds and viruses in the first place. Research has found that the high frequency of essential oils creates an environment where bacteria, fungi and viruses cannot survive. Essential oils provide a high frequency environment for the body.

Researchers have found that some essential oils – oregano, thyme and rosewood oils, in particular – create an autolytic (destruction of cells and tissues by enzymes produced by the cells, themselves) reaction in organisms, including streptococcus pneumonia. Dr. Diane Horne of Weber State University in Ogden, Utah, told the 98th general assembly of the American Society of Microbiology about the serendipitous discovery of the impact of essential oils on cells such as streptococcus pneumonia (bacteria that causes a very serious type of pneumonia in children with sickle cell disease).

When Dr. Horne’s co-researcher was spraying aromatic oils in the laboratory, Dr. Horne looked at the streptococcus pneumonia bacteria that she was preparing for another experiment and noticed that its cells were literally falling apart. Dr. Horne and co-worker Sue Chao, of the Young Living Essential Oils Company of Payton, Utah, tested the autolyzing properties of 74 essential oils and discovered that the best results occurred with oregano, thyme and rosewood and that intermediate inhibition of the pathogens was achieved with cinnamon oil and clove oil. Dr. Horne pointed out that the oils also proved to be a powerful remedy against E. coli (a bacterium and virus in one) and several species of fungi.

What these tests revealed is that essential oils, such as oregano, clove, cinnamon, rosewood and rosemary, are so powerful that viruses and bacteria cannot survive in their presence. That is, the viruses and bacteria are destroyed when they come into contact with these therapeutic essential oils.

Therapeutic grade oils like those by Young Living, (which I and my roomate happen to distribute for your money saving convenience ). One thing on my next order is a new daily use kit that is formulated with oils to support the immune system, including thieves, here. Another major oil for viruses is Oregano. Yup, this isn’t just a nice tasting dry herb for your Italian dish, folks. Same thing with clove (which is in Thieves, so there ya go.)

In 1996, YM. Siddiqui and colleagues examined the antiviral actions of oregano and clove oils against RNA and DNA viruses. The antiviral powers of oregano oil were made clear. A look through the microscope showed that the viruses’ outer protective membrane “disintegrated” after exposure to the oregano oil.

In another 1996 paper, which appeared in the Journal of Agricultural Food Chemistry, researchers tested extracts from oregano oil against eight strains of bacteria, such as: Escherichia coli (otherwise affectionately known as E. coli, and sometimes found in poorly packaged juice products and elsewhere), Salmonella, staph, Bacillus and other nasties. The findings? The essential oil of oregano was “extremely bactericidal” (antibacterial), even at very dilute concentrations. Even watered down preparations caused “considerable decrease in bacterial growth rates.”

Toward the end of 1998, Dutch researchers looked at the effectiveness of one of oregano’s most potent compounds, carvacrol (mentioned earlier), against the food-borne baddy, Bacillus cereus. The results showed that the compound was effective against this bug in a dose-dependent manner – from total block on growth (for the top concentration) to reducing spread of the Bacillus bacteria (for the lowest).

Also in 1998, another group of researchers published their results in the Journal of Essential Oil Research in which they examined the anti germ powers of five aromatic Sicilian plants: laurel, sage, rosemary, oregano and coriander. While all of the plant extracts showed impressive germ killing (antimicrobial) effects, the “highest and broadest activity was shown by the oil of oregano.”

Stay tuned for Part 2, Section 2: Herbals for Colds and Flus: decoctions, teas, tinctures…

Further, if you are interested in ordering some essential oils yourself, feel free to order through Lacey’s distributor line to get deep discounts.