Category — Fayetteville-centric

*First, a little business: Sarah- you were the winner of “Families, Festivals and Food”! Get me your address and I’ll get it in the mail!*

Life is mysterious. I know – how profound. But for real. And irony sure seems an ever present element in the journey. The criss crossy topsy turvy Oh-The-Places-You-Will-Go-Dr.Suess-ish-ness… I don’t even try to figure it out much anymore. The last 2 years of my life have defied or exceeded all of my former constructs. I am more convinced of the creative brilliance of the Creator of the Universe and less of the textbook, Sunday school “god” than ever before. I also get more angry and confused about it all. Sometimes it’s as absurd as growing and shrinking upon a bite of this and a sip of that down in that hurried little rabbit’s hole.

Some of you are nodding and the rest of you, if you are still reading, have glazed over eyes. I guess my mind has been full as of late. We’ve gone through a lot of changes and more are to come. For me, I’m trying to make decisions about what to focus on for awhile, even if that means sacrificing financial security. As I type, Chris is out applying at a new “green” home building retail store that just opened here in Fayetteville. The hours are perfect and his experience is so well matched, so yes, we are really crossing our fingers and saying our prayers. But he has lots of applications on lots of desks right now and who knows what the right thing will be at the right time. So we are playing a bit of the waiting game, while my own aptitude for pressing on as a work-at-home-mother with two young children in my care full time dwindles. My prayer right now is for a period of refreshing and refocusing to come, and soon!

Ok, I digress with a slideshow from Earth Day with my parents here in Fayetteville with us (sooo nice!):

Things were a little busy last week – we spent a lot of time with new friends, helped build a really cool barn style chicken coop (ours is going up next!), had a lovely day in the country (Ethan skinny dipped for the first time!), had my first Arkansas tick experience (ew!), then went immediately into prep for Chris’ big spanish style birthday shindig. We made 20 pounds of pulled pork, slow cooked for 2 days in a crock pot with lots and lots of garlic, limes and adobo. We had about 4 gallons of slow cooked black beans and rice, along with a big beautiful salad, fresh bread, lots of plaintains and even mofongo! The event was a great excuse to spend time with family and food!

Here’s some pictures of the event and other happenings this week (along with some fun pics of my dreads, now 3 months old )
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So speaking of family, festivals, and food: This is the title of one of my very favorite books. I picked it up when Ethan was about 2 years old and began to gravitate right away to what I learned about Waldorf celebrations. Lately I’ve been reading more and more books and listening to training workshops, all in preparation for something I have yet to tell you guys about but when I do I’ll be so happy to share with you all!

So, today was a rough day. I am fighting a cold, Chris and I are both very tired, Ethan and Verity are both incredibly high needs and the noise level is constant! Not to mention that I have lots and lots of work to make up and I highly doubt I will finish it all. With sore throat and ears ringing, I felt impatient and unnerved today – two things I really don’t like about myself, I must admit. I remember seeing this video recently of a Waldorf home-based educator who said that when she notices the energy of the children getting really rowdy, she first checks her own breathing. That came to mind today, as I strove to check myself as a potential contributor to the wild pent-up rainy day boredom energy of the kids.

So instead of raising my voice for the umpteenth time (working on it!), I told Ethan to be still and silent as much as he could while Chris took Verity off on a drive to fall asleep. While this was happening I made a pot of “Quiet Child” tea from Mountain Rose Herbs and the “Best Oatmeal Cookies” from that well-loved go-to book: Family, Festivals, and Food!

What you can’t experience over this screen is just how tasty and warm these simple little things are. Things are feeling cozier and quieter already…

Well, if you’d like to try them, leave a comment about something you use to help ground yourself or the kids on an everything-is-going-wrong kinda day. Next week, I’ll pick a winner randomly and mail you my extra copy of this book! In it you will find seasonal activities, recipes, verses and songs, and stories for your family to celebrate the year.

My intention: to release. When my palms are aching from holding too tight, and my neck is sore from the tension of the load – put it down, drop the line, just release it all.

The expectations. The fears. The anxiety. The selfishness. The opinions. The consumption. The pain. Just let it go.

Embrace, instead, the reality of true freedom to Just Be. The reality of Love Incarnate.

Here are some pictures from this week:

A discarded robin’s egg found in the backyard reminds us: hippity, hoppity, Easter is on it’s way!

The office is very much a greenhouse at the moment. along with 42 heirloom tomato plants, we’ve got oodles of sprouts already from herbs, peppers, lettuce, melons, gourds, and more. Along with a huge assortment of sprouts from a tray Ethan plated all by himself for his flower garden: foxglove, sunflowers, columbine, california poppy, chinese lantern, money plant, marigolds, zinnia – the list goes on! It’s going to be so beautiful this summer!

Verity and I were on the news Saturday night! Talking about the farmers market (I was a total dweeb. I didn’t even realize this was for the local news, I said something like “good luck on your project!” to the young man as we parted ways- for some reason I thought he was a university student, lol! Then my landlord called to tell me it was good to see me on the 5 o’clock news! Ha…)

Finished Verity’s “pixie” easter bonnet

Ethan got a handmade easter basket at the farmer’s market. I admired the flowers, pottery, amazing bluegrass musicians, and handspun yarns. I purchased a huge local smoked ham (which a portion of is currently crocking for split pea soup dinner!)

My knitting and laptop are never safe from Verity’s curious little hands…

I’ve been spending ample time in the backyard, enjoying the new blooms while the kids play in their sandbox. We’ve been doing more garden bed prep, and have put up a nice clothes line set. Also found a $25 picnic table to put out there, above which is strung white christmas lights. Can’t wait for outdoor dining again!

It’s certainly getting green out there…

Easter baskets lined with sprouts (real grass!) holding hardboiled eggs, yogurt covered raisins and pretzels, a coconut bar, and a few gifts: a dragon bubble wand, beeswax modeling clay, and beeswax block crayons (for Ver), all courtesy of Bella Luna Toys. Ethan also got a “Milo” to play with his “Otis”, and a replacement “Scorch” for the one he lost and still couldn’t live without.

Ethan playing with new neighborhood friends: a sweet polish family who lives a few doors down who we bump into on our evening walks.

I guess that about does it!

Today: enjoy the release.

The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.

Carl Jung (1875 – 1961)

42 heirloom tomato have sprouted!

I remember reading about Carl Jung in my Theories of Personality class in college; his contribution to the concept of individuation played an integral role in my development at that time. When I came across that reading, it struck me. Wiki defines this concept as “the process through which a person becomes his/her ‘true self’” and further explains Jung’s belief that “Individuation has a holistic healing effect on the person, both mentally and physically. Besides achieving physical and mental health, people who have advanced towards individuation tend to be harmonious, mature and responsible. They embody humane values such as freedom and justice and have a good understanding about the workings of human nature and the universe.”

Along these lines, it was notable for me to learn about Jung’s idea of artistic expression as a healing outlet; “art therapy”. He spoke of creative expression as a means to becoming whole.

Ideas that, for me, rang very true. Since as far back as I can remember my life, I have sought to express myself creatively. This doesn’t mean I was ever a master at a particular art form, no. But the countless drawings, books, and poems collected throughout my childhood reflect my desire to be constantly creating something.

Being a creative being is, I believe, at the very heart of being human. It is partaking in something divine – the way in which we were created in God’s image. We are compelled to be co-creators with Him, even when we are completely unaware of it.

There is a harmony I feel when I am creating. It doesn’t matter if I am painting, writing, decorating a room, gardening, tending animals, cooking a meal, laying out a flyer, designing a website project, knitting, sewing, singing, strumming an instrument, taking pictures, building a fairy house with the kids – the medium is not what is important. What is important is that what I am doing is tapping into that limitless part of me that constantly accepts the challenge of a new creation, despite the time, energy or frustration involved, simply because the activity makes me feel more alive. And having children – rearing a family – what more glorious display of our co-creating privilege can we find? I am in awe of this often.

Creating is a spiritual act – one I can feel more acutely when working with natural materials – and without it in my life I begin to get all backwards.

At times I chastise myself for not having a more practical work ethic. For not being able to clock in – clock out at a job, regardless of the ease or pointlessness of the daily tasks, for the sheer result of a paycheck. Believe it or not, I admire those with that ability. Even in the most dire pinch, such work feels like madness to me (this is not an exaggeration – I believe I literally begin to lose my mind!). Without some element of creating happening, I feel panicky, straight-jacketed, and desperate for distraction.

Our family is at a shift, (life is so full of those, isn’t it?) and I find myself drawn to make some changes in my work life and load. While I await the unfolding of Chris’ next path, as he looks for work here in Fayetteville, I know this is an opportunity to fine-tune and adjust many of my personal goals and our goals and values as a family.

As always, I want to work with great flexibility for the sake of being my children’s full-time caregiver. But as Ethan enters Kindergarten age as a homeschooler and Verity is a walking almost-toddler, I am finding the need to revamp my priority of them, much more so than in previous years. This is a very high-need phase of their lives, one that will be over in the blink of an eye, and this fact weighs on me every single day. I don’t want to miss out on their childhood because I was stuck behind a laptop or too tired from a late work night to engage life with them. It breaks my heart, actually.

This shift will entail getting creative (there is that word again!) about how I co-support our family financially, how we make and spend and save money, and what our priorities are. From getting more self-sustainable, to finding ways I can cut back my “laptop” hours in favor of more holistic, integrated work-from-home-mom ventures. I am so eager to share my ideas, but for now I will continue to work them out and see how things shape up over the rest of the Spring. In the meantime, I am trying to stay the course with various jobs that have begun to dry out creatively, as the economy forces more and more companies to budget down to the nitty gritty tasks with little room for initiatives and creative projects. Luckily, I have amazing colleagues which help make the grind worth it. And on the side, I am getting my “fix” for creative expression through hobbies, knitting Verity’s birthday sweater, taking a photography course (will be starting a separate photoblog soon!), starting a nature journal, pen and paper journaling (something I haven’t done in years and years), and dreaming of the day I’ll finally write that book.

So there ya go. My courageous share…

(It’s quite possible that)
this life is all about
silly impressions of each other
while all around us
water.
falls.
(loudly.)

(It’s quite possible that)
this life is all about
noticing fungus
(or flowers.)

(It’s quite possible that)
this life is all about
choosing whether to be
creepy
or cute.
(or both.)

(It’s quite possible that)
life is all about
being yourself
-together.

Here I begin a new ritual at Mama Seasons: sharing, in photos, a few special things, a few special words, from my week:

Good morning, my little wild flower sprouts. So glad you survived the snow.

A sweet addition for Ethan’s table: beeswax egg candles. They warm our hearts.

Our new family pet: “Kiwi” is an all natural, genuine sheepskin/leather kiwi bird stuffed animal made in New Zealand. He was looking at me longingly as I perused the church yard sale. Finally, I caved and dolled out the .25 cents to bring him home with me. We all love him so. (For the sake of sharing my discoveries, I also got away with some wool sweaters (for felting), a soaker hose (for the rain barrels we are building), and an old Rodale’s “Naturally Delicious Desserts and Snacks” book. I think my bill was $2.)

I finished a simple wool shrug to keep Verity’s shoulders warm in the chilly Spring days. This will go with a little pillowcase dress I’m making for her birthday this month (more on that another time.)

Finally finished this sweet sundress I knitted/sewed for my niece’s 1st birthday (which was now almost a month ago, doh!) It’s gonna be put in the mail this week, guys, I promise!

That’s it for my week in photos. May you all have small moments to capture your heart this week…

The honey bees have come out to play

Dandelion
Dandy Dandelion was a handsome fellow,
With his coast of green, and his vest of yellow;
He had lots of gold, he was very lazy,
So he chose to scold a modest little daisy.

Silly little daisy, foolish little flower,
Imitating me, to your best of power;
Just then some one passed, who his cane was swinging,
Snapped off Dandelion, ceased his accent singing.

Daisy at the sight, dropped a tear of sorrow,
Closed her eyes and died, opened on the morrow;
Every one that passed, gazing with delight,
Asked her where she found gems, so pure and bright.”

- from “Kindergarten Gems; Stories and Rhymes for Little Folks“

We will be more officially entering a learning unit of birds and wild flowers in our area now that our guide books have come in. We are so excited to learn more about the birds that our in our own yard. There are three male cardinals that hang out in our front tree religiously, as well as a female or two. We have a few graceful doves out there, along with a house finch and titmouse, too. Ethan just adores watching them and pointing out what kind they are.

I look forward to sharing more as we progress into the studies…

In the meantime, guess what we were up to on our first weekend of Spring??? We got snowed in! And we ran out of toilet paper, milk and eggs too! We got a little stir crazy…

Just check out the view from our front window:

Here’s one of those male cardinals – doesn’t he look striking in the snow?

And here’s Ethan and Chris’ kool-aid Snowman creation!

Good times…

Wait just a minute – THIS is the first day of Spring?

It pains me to say it, because the saying has been told to me so many times in the last month that I’m getting downright sick of it, but it appears to be accurate: “If you don’t like the weather in Arkansas, just wait ten minutes — It’ll change!”

Yesterday I was in a strapless tank toasting up my shoulders in the front yard. Today I am bundled in a wool blanket with a raw milk steamer on my couch watching movies while it snows outside! As I type there appears to be 2-3 inches already…

Life has never been what I have expected, not in the least what I expected of motherhood. My ideas and values have shifted so drastically from when I first entered motherhood until now that I sometimes wonder who I even was back then. My thoughts on what I could control, how much I could accomplish, and how successful I would be have not only changed, they’ve been thrown out completely! While I struggle daily with my own limitations, something nothing but the grueling and relentless work of motherhood would have been able to dredge out of me, I feel at once that I am journeying towards an acceptance of my inner self – as well as my outer.

As a busy mom, stealing a few moments in the mirror is rare. I put a little make up on about once per week and try to do about ten minutes of hair removal a week too, but that’s about it. The rest is quick showers and brief Sun Salutations, and small prayers that simply eating nourishing foods will keep me healthy while I put my appearance in God’s hands!

It’s occurred to me lately that I am, as they say, my own worst critic. I caught my self talk this week and it surprised me at how negative I am. Deep down, I feel on many levels that I sacrificed my youth for my children. I lost my pre-baby body at 20 years old, and ever since I wonder how I got to be so OLD. I’ve pulled so many late nights working and 4 hour sleeping shifts interrupted by nursing in the last 5 years that I can feel the effects of my poor self care on my entire system. To say I know fatigue would be an understatement – and not just from poor sleeping but from the daily life lived with young children. Yes, they want something ALL. THE. TIME. Yes, it’s takes every fiber of my being sometimes to truly listen to the “jibber jabber”, or to hold my heart in peace when every bit of me is frustrated at the irrational and immature reasoning of a 4 year old. To keep the daily meditations close at hand, ones that remind me of how beautiful my children are, how fortunate I am to be their mother. I also have to remind myself about my own boundaries with the kids – to realize that I can lovingly distance myself when I have reached my limits- that to martyr myself for their every whim is not going to do any one any good – not to mention my sanity.

Every mom wants to be a good mom. We all have different visions of what this archetype looks like, but who ever She is, we strive to be her and often chastise ourselves when we fall short. It takes concerted effort and mindfulness for me to let that vision be a positive self-image – to see it as a mirror of my own self, and to accept that Good along with my Bad (all those hits and misses are a balance). When I fail, ( and believe me, I DO. Just about every tired, cranky morning when I raise my voice or get impatient or sulk or cry or blame or go a wee bit loco!), I am learning that I need to step back and accept what is.

I don’t always have a lot of energy, or creativity, or patience, but God knows what I need and He knows what the kids and Chris need. He knows what kinds of models, experiences, and knowledge we still lack. It’s comforting to me to realize that amidst my own failures, God can work the greatest miracles. And as far as that negative self-talk, well, I need to work on that. My body may be ridden with premature stretch marks, gray hair, wrinkles, and a small but ever increasing double chin, but it has never failed me. It has been strong; has carried, birthed, and nursed two very healthy babies. Maybe in those ways, I have sacrificed my youth for the kids, but whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is only a matter of changing my perspective I mean, really, is there a more noble thing to sacrifice youth and beauty for??? And anyway, some parts of me have grown way more beautiful BECAUSE of my children.

The snowflakes outside continue to fall on my Spring solstice, and my rosy cheeked, robust daughter sleeps on the window bench in total peace. She is officially walking this week, by the way, which is quite a treat. I can tell she is going to be such a vibrant, strong woman.

Well, here’s to acceptance, beauty, and balance. To motherhood, in all it’s unexpected exposures…

First – Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Second – I’ve stolen a few minutes break in my day to share some photos with you:

Let’s go through the front door:

You may notice the rad (IMHO) antique forest green couches Chris found for me on Craigslist (for next to no $$$!). Don’t ya just wanna curl up? I love that our living room has no TV, too – its a great area to just hang, play board games, knit, read, whatever. I really love it here. (Good job, babe!):

Babies love it here too:

Ethan spends the bulk of his time in one of three places:
1. the “school room” area of our main room (the dining and living room):

2. his avocado colored, “enchanted forest” themed room, where Verity often joins him:

3. or his kitchen, inside my kitchen:

If you don’t find me in that cozy living room, you might find me in the office/media room/ guest room. Which is almost unpacked – or can’t you tell? HA! At least the mustard yellow paint is drying…

Here (the office), I dream of one day watching copius amounts of Gilmore Girls. For now it acts as a sauna for brooding baby chicks and sprouting seeds:

In current news, today is St. Patrick’s Day, and we are celebrating! We had green eggs for breakfast:

Made green raisin cinnamon bread, properly adorned with butter and raw honey:

Wore green, of course – but took it a step further by making “Hulk” neck vein impersonations, because he is also green…

We also sprouted clover, which was a gift in Ethan’s hidden “pot of gold”. And read stories about St. Patrick. And listened to Celtic music all day. And watched “Riverdance”. And we are going to go see the Irish dancers at the library this evening. And returning home to a dinner of corned beef brisket, cabbage, and potatoes. (When the kids go to bed, we are gladly sipping some whiskey sours.)

What else have we been up to? As if that’s not enough?

Well, we have been spending time in the backyard finally! We’ve hung some linens, marked off the coop/run area and dug out two vegetable beds. We scoped out the prime fort location near a butterfly bush and began a fairy home nearby. This isn’t the best picture, but it is fairly big and brown and daunting…

AND LASTLY, I discovered to my amusement that I really enjoy needle felting. Not the bloody fingers part so much but the wool figurines made in way less time than knitting part. This new craft has helped me quickly fill up our nature table as we prepare for Spring.

Here you can see some of it – the felted Mother Earth in the back there with a little wooden “St. Patrick”, and their woodland friends – a white rabbit, green turtle, and large whimsical mushroom – all needle felted. In the tree hangs a butterfly and an angel. Spring “flower children” are coming to join Mother Earth SOON – this weekend marks the Spring Solstice! Awake, flowers, awake!

With St. Patrick’s Day approaching (March 17th!), and our family finally feeling like things in the home are falling into place, we are eager to celebrate. We missed a few festivals due to our move (Lent festivities, a real bummer since I’m of Cajun decent and Mardi Gras would have been fun here at the house!) so with our new little wooden table we are starting to build a Waldorf nature table in the living room. We’re sprouting a bed of clover and chia seeds this week, which will be decorated with blown and painted eggs shells and other Springtime crafts to come over the next few weeks.

There are two new chicks sleeping quietly in the brooder in the craft room right now. They are both Sex-Links, one Gold and one Black. I’ve named them “Daffodil” and “Velvet”. Two more are coming, hopefully arriving on Tuesday – a Rhode Island Red and an Americauna. I can’t wait!

This week’s milestones include: Verity took 5 steps in a row on her own! Also, we opened accounts at the local credit union and we all got library cards. The library here is actually quite impressive!

It was at the library that I picked up a copy of “Shamrocks, Harps, and Shillelaghs; The Story of the St. Patrick’s Day Symbols”, and a variety of Celtic/Irish kids CD’s.

St. Patrick was an interesting guy. He wasn’t actually Irish – he was British- and was captured and taken slave in Ireland as a young man. After 6 years there, he ran away, but later after he became a priest, he believed he was being told by God to return to the land of his former master’s to bring them the story of Jesus/ Christianity. He was brave and driven, and his life spent among the Celts was considered a success by the Church. Many village chieftains and druids (celtic pagan priests) were baptized and he left monks and church plans in ever village he left. It is said that his influence contributed to Ireland’s ability to keep alive the arts and education during the “Dark Ages” in Europe.

Aside: I like the name Patrick (I have both a paternal uncle AND a maternal uncle named Patrick – and I lived on Kilpatrick Street in Portland for the last year- a variation the St. Patrick name).

There are two parts to the story that impressed me and that I will be able to add as spiritual “findings” as we celebrate the holiday this Wednesday:

First is that St. Patrick was effective in part because he was relevant and engaged the current culture of that time and place. From his time in captivity, “he knew the manners, the customs, and language of the people who lived there. What was more, he had a deep urge to be the savior of a people who had once enslaved him.” Furthermore, he honored the Celtic traditions: “Patrick never tried to stamp out old rites and customs. Instead, he found a way to combine them with Christian customs.”

In addition, Patrick divided the saints into three categories: 1. “A Glory on the Mountaintop”, 2. “A Gleam on the Hillside”, or 3. “A Faint Light in a Valley”.

Those who consider themselves followers of Christ might do well to ask ourselves which one he might have called us.

More St. Patrick’s Day facts and fun to come…