so much to say after this two week hiatus – not sure where to begin.

There’s pics to display, stories of success and failure to share, news to report.

These weeks have included:

- lots of wrestling with the same ol’ life lessons we are too hard headed to “get”

- Ethan turned 5 years old.

- I realized he is a “spirited extrovert” as described in the book “Raising a Spirited Child”. With a sigh of relief I felt more equipped to handle our differences and celebrate who is he is.

- A sweet visit from my sister and her fam

- A heat wave

- Lots of bugs on my vegetable beds that have brought me much frustration. Gardening is supposed to be fun, isn’t it??? I have a nice huge bowl of cayenne/garlic tea I plan to spray all over them tomorrow, so we’ll see if that helps.

- The decision that we want to leave AR when we “get our ducks in a row” to do so. Either back to OR, our “soul home”, and then eventually a village in Burgundy France

- A new show we enjoy together in the after hours of parenting : DEXTER!

- A wee-hours-of-the-morning, spontaneous prayer combustion, awesome girls night with the “Radical Homemaking” group

- Three days of fatigue to recover from the wee-hours-of-the-morning girl night.

- Two of my chickens were killed, leaving a lone Daffodil.

- We trapped the likely culprit, a raccoon, only to accidentally kill it by leaving the cage in the sun during a heat wave for a few hours. Also, it left behind some family members in the attic, which has Ethan terrified and a very light sleeper – a bummer.

- Laughter, tears, prayers, meals, talks, books… life.

I guess that about wraps it up. Until next time…

:: Beaver Lake, Lake Fayetteville, Brentwood Community Center, Eureka Springs ::

seeking spots to cool off in NW Arkansas…

Last week we had a few days of cookie making, movies, and mud pies that come along with rain. The kids and I LOVE the rain…

There is something very crucial about experiencing rain – up close and personal, not always tucked away inside cars and houses. Like knowing the warmth on your face from a live fire, or sticking your toes deep down in the wet sand at the water’s edge and “sinking”; your body touching the elements, making you more real, more alive…

it’s invigorating. We soaked it up, as did the gardens, knowing July and August will likely not bless us with so much wet abundance from here on out!

And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.
Gilbert K. Chesterton

For the last month I have had my doubts about staying in the Ozarks. With the change of seasons, I’ve felt driven in my search for a “next place” that would have less Summer heat, humidity, and mosquitoes, (and with better soil). You know where all my research landed me? Right back where I started.

All the places I thought I might like better, upon further inspection, turned up similar or worse heats, humidities, and mosquito counts in the summer. And those that didn’t, well then your facing deep, long winters or some other trade-off – at the very least, land that is not in our price range (at. all.)

So many things to think about when your dream is to operate a sustainable mini-farm for the rest of your life

The Ozarks feature, among other things, beautiful rolling hills– very green this time of year. Driving out to Cave Springs to get my mother-in-law from the airport reminded me of that. There are many, many natural spaces we have yet to find time to go explore – so many rocks unturned. It would be silly of me to think we’ve been there, done that, with regard to NWA only 4 months in! Surely I have more sticktoitness than that?

I do miss the city life of Portland sometimes – the tea houses, yoga studios, parks, libraries, biking over the Broadway Bridge (PURE BLISS), or catching the MAX (though I always forget to think about the times I sat at a bus stop in tears of frustration and shivering from the cold because I missed the bus! lol) I also, of course, miss some dear friends I made there and the general vibe of the peer group and inner neighborhoods one could find community in.

Adjusting to a new place is hard, as we anticipated. Things don’t always go as smoothly as we hoped (like opening the waldorf-inspired playschool and having a less than idyllic relationship with my landlord as a result). But there’s a lot to be said for sticking things out, for staying put, and for making the best of where you are.

Sometimes the very things I am moaning about are the things bringing another person joy. The Ozark Homesteader was just writing about gardening in this heat, seeing it as a sort of detoxing season for sweating out impurities. I often come across, in my research for a “better place”, folks dreaming of a place with rolling hills, lakes and fireflies, and I’m reminded that indeed where I am can be any one’s “little slice of heaven” given a positive perspective (maybe even Pollyanna attitude) towards it (just as I did so love the misty rain of Portland that others not from there thought would be a major bummer). That’s why some love Maine, others Montana, others Georgia, others Alaska – I think you gotta soak up the good from where you are and find sustainable workarounds for the rest!

I think the bottom line, or a few of them, is that the region we are in offers the community of family and friends we were hoping for when sitting at our lonely Thanksgiving table in Portland, as well as the affordable land and scenic views we’ve dreamed about. The rest is just not that important.

Our mini-farm (my retirement plan, to be implemented within the next 9 years) is something I continue to learn more about and adjust to my particular area more and more as we recognize the need to stay put to realize our goals.

And many of you are like me – dreaming of the Someday House in the Someday Place living the Someday Life. And that’s all well and good, but know that so much can be done right where you are. From backyard gardens, chickens and beehives; to spending more time with family, writing, drawing, or singing; or learning to knit, make bread, or ferment Mead: many a learning experiences can be had before you are ever on that Someday Land.

Here’s to dreams and good ol’ fashioned contentment!

It was one of those clear, sharp, mustless days
That summer and man delight in.
Never had Heaven seemed quite so high,
Never had earth seemed quite so green,
Never had the world seemed quite so clean
Or sky so nigh.
And I heard the Deity’s voice in

The sun’s warm rays,
And the white cloud’s intricate maze,
And the blue sky’s beautiful sheen.

-e.e.cummings, “The Eagle”

Happy Summer Solstice, friends!

Yesterday we celebrated with friends, bringing in the season to the light of a bonfire in the country (the kind of location that calls for directions such as “turn left at the wooden heart shaped house number sign” and “turn right at the sign that says “WOAH”. Luv it.)

We marshed us some mallows and splashed in a pool of pond water underneath a moonlit sky. The dogs chased fireflies and the Neverland tribe (10 or so?) of children were foot loose and fancy free. It was marvelous. We rolled in just before midnight, in time to shower off and hit our inviting beds as Summer declared itself HERE.

Needless to say, the husband had to be up at 6am for work today while the rest of us laid in bed until close to 9. As I come in now from hanging clothes on the line mid-day (usually the heat is so bad you just HAVE to do this chore early in the AM – sleeping in on a homestead is NOT a good option!) the sweat beads on my red forehead can attest: Ye’Sir, it’s Summer!

I’ve been hoping to find time to blog again soon, but even when time was found I was unsure where to begin. A lot has happened in such a short amount of time and I’m still processing much of it. Some things are just so all consuming that the rest of life must very stubbornly seep through, eventually.

And that is one of the things I so admire about life. You can try to dam it back, close your eyes and pretend your floating in a lazy river, but we all know that nothing stops the current. It is defiant it its attempts to keep us moving. Thank God.

One of the markers of passing time in life’s great current is the seasons change. This Father’s Day weekend we’ll kiss Spring goodbye (is it REALLY still Spring?) and embrace full fledged Summer. Currently, the mosquitoes surrounding my home are holding us hostage indoors (and if you know us, that means WE ARE GOING PLUMB MAD!) and has me dreaming of Portland bug-free sunny months of bliss. But a few things make up for it, gently reaffirming that we ARE where we need to be (in no particular order):

For one, the fire flies. Oh, what I would give to be able to capture in photographs these creatures dance outside my window at night. I can hardly close my eyes when I lay in bed waiting for the next one to surprise me with its electrical body outside my window and drift this way and that. There are dozens of them floating outside at any given moment, lighting up the darkness like evening fairies worshiping the moon. Last night I even dreamed I went outside and scouted some glow worms. I’m downright enchanted with them!

For another, the community. The network of family and friends we have been welcomed into in just 4 short months (is that ALL?) is everything I hoped it would be and more. When breaking bread with loved ones, it often feels as if we have never NOT been here. I am so grateful for such a vibrant, loving, healthy community of adults and children to bring up my own in. The more I plug into the good people I have come to know here, the more impressed I am with their hearts and lives – all so very, very different from one another. What a colorful tapestry of folks!

Allow me to paint you a picture of my neighborhood alone: I have been befriended by a neighbor on one side, a nursery worker, single mom to two young boys – the kinda lady who will talk your ear off about Irises and give you the shirt off your back if you asked her (or even if you don’t!). Our lives collide with theirs in ways only nature could orchestrate: rescuing a young tortoise from the street, climbing trees together, or exchanging plants and seeds.

Across the street I am greeted by three friendly neighbors in a row, all of whom I see and speak with pretty much daily. One is a warm, funky grandma with a major green thumb whose home features a set of prayer flags (as does ours). She walks and rides her bike passed our home frequently, often with her two young grandchildren and dog accompanying her.

Next to her is the areas Rabbi with his family of adopted toddlers. He pulls up to his on-street parking several times a day blasting talk radio, mows his lawn shirtless (my, what a healthy sense of self you have!), and is another brilliant botanist. He can name you just about any plant you have and tell you more about it than you really needed to know. We made a greater connection recently, as he prepares to head out of town he showed us an area where he wants us to remove and keep LOTS of yellow lillies off his property, which just so happen to be underneath an apricot tree spilling ripe fruit that we are also welcome to collect. Yippee!

And of course, our sweet friends next to him are a writer and her partner, the kinda gals so genuine that they welcome being knocked to their feet by my 4 year old’s hugs when we run into each other at the Farmer’s Market. We’ve found deeper support from these neighbors than the rest and I have a feeling as I get the courage to join their writing group that we will become closer as time goes on.

Down the way are more families speckling the neighborhood with color and charm, some we know by name and others we don’t. Many who, like us, seem to strive to make their front yard their “Third Place” where community happens.

As I type, Ethan wakes up and without even asking for breakfast declares, “I’m going to the front yard!” His tree swing turns him into a super hero for awhile, and when that loses its novelty there are endless bugs to search for under rocks. I have to coax him back inside for eating, eventually. This morning might be harder than others, however: he has found himself a tortoise.

One of the nice things about living in the city is the walks through neighborhoods like mine. But then, the country walks – spotting bugs, flowers, and deer, presents a networking community as well. Yes, we dream of our little plot of land. A lot.

But more on that later.

In the meantime, some pictures of our in-town life this Summer:

Ver in the garden…

Pole beans reaching up!

Swiss chard, a colorful and tasty addition to our backyard veg bed

A new Summertime tradition: a Marigold Bath!

Ants rummage a strawberry blossom

Peek-a-booing amongst the trees…

{simple pleasures}

a new weekend Mama Seasons series about finding pleasure in something inexpensive or free in search of :The Good Life:

Farmers market: a $3 sun hat, as well as the usual locally grown veggies to eat and plants to grow. And an ice cold latte
A turnip man (free)
Bubbles (free)

Library finds:
In and Out of the Garden, Sara Midda
Taming the Truffle; The History, Lore and Science of the Ultimate Mushroom, Hall, Brown, and Zambonelli
Time of Wonder, Robert McClosky

Thrifted (vintage):
a pully for tree climbing adventures
tablecloth, bright and Summery
OJ pitcher for Saturday morning fresh squeezed orange juice
(pictures to come)

Gifted:
Lilly’s in bloom from a neighbor

Bartered:
Possibility of website work for a local bookstore in exchange for books!

Borrowed:
Rodales Successful Gardening Organic Herbs

Created:
A fort on an enchanted island, where the prince asks nicely for the fairy godmother to bake him magical cookies so he has the energy to escape the green aliens with big ears and bumpy toes that taste like bananas and regrow when they are bitten off.

Since the start of tree pollen season here in NW Arkansas, I have been feeling way more drained and tired than usual. It didn’t help that this coincided with a week or two long teething spell for Verity! I was so sleep-deprived and discombobulated – it felt as though I had just had my wee one, only I couldn’t rest all day because I had two to run after and jobs to keep!

Towards this last weekend, I felt in despair. I thought something must be wrong with me – I have had no energy or attention span to work for more than about 2 hours a day, and I couldn’t focus on the kids very well either. Combined with dizziness while gardening and a few other things, I finally checked in with myself and began to get a regimen for getting back up to “speed”

With the help of some great advice from friends as well as a few chapters of The Fourfold Path to Healing; Working with the Laws of Nutrition, Therapeutics, Movement and Meditation in the Art of Medicine, I realized I need to revamp my dietary laziness. I’m following the recommendation in the book now, as much as possible: 40% animal source, 40% vegetable source, 20% grain source. The animal source must be raw as often as possible (raw butter, raw milk, etc) or pasture-raised fresh meats not cooked at too high a temperature (and bone broths, etc), the vegetable source can be only steamed or raw, and the grain source (and legumes, nuts, etc) must be properly soaked or sprouted.

What does that all have to do with sleep, you ask? Well, you’ll have to get the book or begin following Weston Price literature to get the nitty gritty. In the nutshell, however; eating this way means you are giving you digestive system foods it can properly break down, leaving your body with more energy for the other systems and functions (including brain — hormone! — function). I already eat only organic produce, pasture-raised meat, and unrefined foods. But what I don’t do enough is soak and sprout. Maybe once a week for a split pea soup or black bean side, but otherwise I bake with whole wheat pastry flour, etc. I do get sprouted sandwich bread and sourdough artisan bread, however, because I already had a gist for the logic behind it. What I didn’t understand is was how much I needed to eat, what percentages, and how those 2 or 3 days of eating a muffin and a coffee or something similar was contributing to my low energy level and moods. Man, you slack off just a bit and WHAM, teething, allergies, illnesses – (”I get knocked down, but I get up again!”)

Moving on!

Another thing I changed a few days ago was my sleep pattern. I never take naps, and I rarely fall asleep before 1am. I also can’t fall asleep for at least 30 minutes. Then I nurse a few times in the night and wake up around 8am feeling like I just went to bed. I am not a morning person, never have been. I feel cranky and ethereal for a few hours and can barely function until I have some protein in my breakfast (bowl of cereal = raving lunatic. poached egg on steamed kale = happy mama.)

On Mother’s Day, I took for myself a rare treat. A nap. What was odd, to me, was that I felt tired again early that night and crashed about an hour earlier than usual. Then Chris let me sleep in on Monday morning and do you know when I woke up? 10 o’clock! This was more sleep than I have had in a span of DAYS this year. And finally, I didn’t feel guilty about it – I didn’t fret over all the things I didn’t get done because I was asleep. Instead, I felt calm (no! getting sleep helps you feel calm! Say it isn’t so!) and trusted that this is what my body needed to do to recuperate. If that means I get behind on a few things, maybe those things weren’t that important. Also, maybe I’ll have the attention span and energy to finish them better and faster once I’m rested. For a few days now, I’ve taken naps (which, according to this article, DOES make folks learn better and increases memory function) and getting to bed before midnight. Already, the quality of my waking is more alert and energized. Halle-flippin-lujah!

I should add that I’ve also been more conscientious about taking my fermented cod liver oil (SO important, esp for pregnant/nursing mama’s!) and adding to it a range of therapeutic essential oils to support my immune and digestive system. Also back on the bandwagon is my use of lacto-fermented beverages. I’ve been drinking my homebrewed kombucha daily but slacked off on my kefir smoothies. Until I read that the recommendation for me to fight fatigue is also to drink less water (flushes gut with water – not letting stomach vile do its job in digesting the food) and more lacto-fermented liquids instead (kefir smoothies, yum!)

So I’m going to continue this super nourishing diet, extra sleep to support that I nurse all night still (attachment parenting, respond respond respond! ), and cod liver and essential oils supplements. Besides being a little more energized, calm, and alert, my skin is less red and rashy (woo hoo!). I’ll touch back after a few weeks and let you know if anything else is changing.

THIS is what I love about allowing negative emotions to come to the surface, yet having the perspective that they are not evil or wrong or stupid, but just a message. A message to make a change and shift your priorities. The few weeks of fatigue and restlessness and worry prompted me to take the time to do some soul searching. I journaled about some things I need to do, including getting alone and girl time each week, starting yoga again, along with the diet change and more sleep. I prayed about some of these things, in particular that I would find a good Vinyasa yoga class in Fayetteville, and low and behold, today I was at the co-op and saw a flyer on the bulletin about a new 6 week series for Vinyasa flow. It’s on Sunday afternoons, a great open time block for me, and not very expensive either. I’m soooo relieved!

After a good night’s sleep, I also emerged with some answers to things that were bothering me. Career changes/ timing, Chris’ joblessness, the kids, so many things. What was clear to me when I awoke was this: I need to focus on my faith, writing, art, and family. Period. The financial situation will iron itself out, likely in a way that I can’t even foresee right now. But having mini-breakdowns every week because there is no time for the things my heart and mind is needing more of is making me less productive and less joyful, more tired and more stressed out.

The blog, something I was ready to give up for lack of time to commit to it, might end up sticking around, if only for a place to share my thoughts. I’ll be taking a writing course with my neighbor soon (who actually named herself Ryder – cause she is a writer – which I think is so bold it’s cute). Next I want to take some watercolor courses. I’ve always felt really dyslexic when it comes to watercolor as a medium, and I want to remedy that.

Oh! And I’ll be hosting a summer reading group (through Vintage) to discuss the book “Radical Homemakers; Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture“. Can you see a theme here? Doing things good for my soul, learning to let go of roles I don’t need to cling to anymore, taking a leap of faith – eventually hoping to be more generous and infectiously joyful in a world so riddled with greed, fret, and hopelessness. Wish me luck

Well, I won’t go on – this is getting rather long. And I have a playdate, so…

Be the Light,

Mama

“The caterpillar trusts his maker that all is well. He does not cling to his old garment and thus is transformed into a magnificent butterfly. There is no pain, it is a natural transmutation. So it is with us. As the chrysalis is the bridge between caterpillar and butterfly, so is True perception the bridge between separation and Oneness. We are transmuting into a new state of being. Clinging to our caterpillar stage, our old ways of judgement, we shall never learn to fly into the dawn of a new day.” – Peter Erbe

While planting today, a truly majestic butterfly joined Ethan and I to steal a quick drink from my soaker hose on a warm sunny day. I was grateful for the moment to awe over his company.

We planted tomatoes (black prince, persimmon, green zebra, yellow pear, and whopper) and peppers ( red bell, yellow bell, and aneheim) surrounded by seedlings of carrots and lettuces. The small raised bed was then lined with marigolds and chives. Companion planting, yeah baby! Many of the starts I got from a local farm at the farmer’s market; a very sweet and helpful farmer who I was proud to support just a bit with my Mother’s Day moolah

Over on the other side of the front yard, a pumpkin patch is underway. We’ve seeded carving pumpkins, white pumpkins, and sugar pumpkins (for pie), along with a few varieties of ornamental gourds. Can’t wait for Fall!!!

This week’s homeschooling has been about beans We’ve read Jack and the Beanstalk and planted pole beans, dragon tongue beans, sugar peas, and some melon varieties. These will go in the backyard raised bed, a long 20′ x 4′ which will feature more stuff I’ve learned about companion planting. From what I’ve heard, growing your own food in the Ozarks is a lot different from the “plant it, it will grow” Oregon climate and soil I have only ever gardened in. I’ve had to learn about rocky, clay soil and nasty bug infestations and dry, hot summers – so companion planting helps with some of that, along with a proper composting system and lots of soaker hoses – which will eventually be hooked up to rain barrles. For more info on companion planting, check out the classic on the subject: Carrots Love Tomatoes. As for my backyard bed, I’ll be trying out the three-sisters method: the beans will be trained up corn stalks while the ground is kept moist by a covering vines — squash/melons/cucumbers. On the other end of the bed will be a large patch of strawberries (to collect fruit from next year) and kale. Little natural insect repellents will be distributed around the main veggies – mainly marigolds and some herbs.

The chicken coop is coming along, but I’ll show pics when we get the roof and the painting fine tuned. The three musketeers (Chris and his two new boyfriends : Trevor and Cheyne) were working on it last night while the women and kids enjoyed each others company amongst the backdrop of an Ortecho-style Cinco de Mayo celebration (make your own tacos and fried ice cream with Mariachi in the air).

May the music move you…