Category — Etc

Okay, okay, I don’t think I had the swine flu, lol. But it was certainly one of the worst flu’s I’ve ever had. Luckily, my cough is becoming less frequent and more productive, and my energy is definitely up a bit. We’ve been sleeping better since sidelying nursing too, which is great.

However, I fractured a rib. I know. Seriously? Yep:

“You might be dealing with a simple fractured rib if any of the following symptoms are present: Sharp pain at a particular point on the chest that’s touched, sharp pain when coughing or breathing, bruising or deformity of the chest.”

Ding, ding, ding! Note to self: do not hunch over while nursing and then forcefully cough, thereby popping/fracturing/something painful to your rib cage. I now can’t take a deep breath, or esp cough, without pain, and usually have to bend forward to cough in order to take the pressure off my rib. When I stretch out my arms and straighten my back, I feel this weird “floating” bone feeling as my rib kinda protrudes at the spot of pain.

Anyhoo. I’m going the route of “let it heal itself” and hoping that the end of my coughing will allow it to heal. Of course, I also read this “Encourage the injured person to cough frequently. It’s going to hurt, but it will prevent secretions from pooling in the lung, which could cause pneumonia.” in an article about treating minor rib fractures and thought, pneumonia would be just FANTASTIC right now, with more sarcasm than I’ve ever mustered up in my life. Ever.

Otherwise, oh my, I love this little baby! She is so soft and warm and cuddly and – just, oh my. It’s so weird how mom’s just LOVE their kids. Pimply, peeling, cross-eyed goopy newborns through awkward, brace-face, acne covered teens. They are just angelic to the one who popped em out

Okay, well I don’t have vast amounts of time so I’m going to wrap this up!

Consider it wrapped.

Had a good day today- first morning jugglin’ the tot and the teenie one, but it went pretty well! We even got a walk in to collect dandelions.

This afternoon we managed to get the four of us into a car and over to the midwife, where everything is “perfect”. Verity has already gained her birth weight back and lost her umbilical cord stump, and I am doing superbly, save this rough cold. Oh, and crisis averted- no pink eye! Just a terrible sinus virus that involves the eyes in it’s coarse. I’m doing everything under the sun to help me fight it and manage the pain, everything breastfeeding safe that is, so I just have to wait it out and try to rest. My midwife said that, for her, the upside to me being sick right now is that its keeping me from running a marathon until my body is actually ready for it Otherwise, my lady bits are all healed up and lovely (har) and my nips are doing better and its confirmed that the chapping is not due to faulty latching – just how mine roll.

I do hope the majority of my recent readers are female, btw. Sorry for all the powder room talk, fellas.

My laptop is going in and out of power because of either the charger/cord OR the laptop jack. So far we can jiggle it a bit and get it to charge for 5 minutes and then it goes out again. Certainly not a sustainable existence, so we are trying to figure something out. (Seeeeee, THAT was a fella friendly paragraph! I can whip them out from time to time.)

A sweet couple from church brought over a hearty supper for the whole household today, so I stuffed myself on it and I’m going to “bed” early tonight to try to get in a little extra sleep between Verity’s every-2-hour nursing preference.

I know this is all mighty boring to most of you, but oh well. Just seemed like an update from my recent doom-n-gloom conciseness was in order.

Before my laptop goes out again, I bid you farewell…

In my dreams, I dare to light a match to the constructs of my life,

Burn all the withering, moldy pieces;
the weaknesses and brokenness left by infidelity infestations;
the unknown outcome of my attempts to preserve this messy house. The pain is too sharp, the work is too hard. The labor long and arduous; questionably worth it.

I want to walk away from the smoldering heap of What Once Was,

find a weeping willow to climb to my new, simple home on a branch,

and sleep.

Call it nesting, or call it a good night’s sleep, but some jolt of energy came upon me today.

I did some knitting in the sun:

While Ethan played in the water:

Then I began a cooking spree, which started with a Lemon Ginger cooler (with herbs from our garden- lemon balm, mint, pineapple mint). (Hubby’s included Triple Sec )

Then vats and vats of Sprouted Lentil Veggie Stew (this is only a quarter of it):

Then my coconut oil brownies:

Then a new batch of tea for our massive kombucha brewing:

Then Herbed Apple Chedder Scones (with herbs from our garden: thyme, winter savory, and rosemary!):

And with that and a cup of tea, I’m calling it a night!!!

Here I am thinking about what a wonderful sunny time I will have sitting in the front yard with friends knitting this afternoon:

Here I was at the end of the day, after realizing that my burning and itching wasn’t coming from invisible bugs but from my white a** catchin wayyyyyy too many rays!

Here’s Chris’ new road bike he got from the used show today! Mucho mejor for his (we just realized) SIXTEEN MILE commute to and from work each day… he’s totally my hero.

Here’s the diapers I am sewing to go under my wool covers I’ve been knitting (thanks for the free sewing machine, pattern and demo, Tina!!!… she’s another one of my heros.):
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Here’s the shed being built by some great carpenter we live with (ahem-seth-ahem… yet another hero.):
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Here’s the crowd that gathered today to help with the shed, hang out, eat hamburgers fresh off the grill, and otherwise have a good time:
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This is an example of Seth/Lacey’s homemade gourmet pizza we enjoy weekly

Good times…

Whew, week 38! Seems like yesterday was Verity’s celebration and I was SO over being pregnant, but then in the blink of an eye a week has gone by and I am doing great!

She’s having a growth spurt, this little one. Checking out the 4 pounds I gained in one week, the new stretch mark on my belly, and the constant ravenous hunger I’m having, I can safely assume she’s putting on a pound or so of baby fat to tarter her up for Portland’s “Spring” which in my humble Florida-native opinion is way too cold.

Speaking of weather, though, we’re actually having some pretty glorious skies right now. Yesterday I connected with my roots a bit: I walked around barefoot in our yard to cut some pretty dandelions for our vase. There is nothing better than feeling earth, sand, or grass on your feet and the warmth of the sun on your neck. Amazing that I have done without it now for about 5 months! Gosh.

Today the windows are open, beckoning the sunny 65 degree air and the dinging of the bamboo wind chime indoors. Hubby is out looking at some bikes at a used bike sale today, his birthday gift being a used road bike (his is a hybrid) so he can more easily commute to work. When he gets back, we trade off the tot and I get to go swimming with Misty at the community center. My back is feeling better at the very thought of it

Well, okay, I’m wasting time blogging about it rather than being out in it, so I’m going to grab a blanket to lay in the yard a bit and check you guys later.

Ethan’s room is finally almost done! I feel so much better knowing he has a space to call his own, a bed to call his own, a home for his clothes and toys and crafts, and additionally a playroom in which his environment can be conducive to homeschooling/unschooling for “pre-k” next year.

Moving him from an 13′ x 15.5′ room to a 10′ x 10′ room presented many challenges, but finally we scored a loft bed set on craigslist that came with everything we needed, including a small dresser, desk w/ hutch, and even a toddler bed to put under it for the “someday” when Verity joins him. At first he was a bit timid about climbing up and down the bed, but within hours he was a total monkey about it and loves his new pad.

I still have some hopes to make some window curtains with some fabric I bought him, as well as some organizing and tweaking to do with his art desk area, but by and large we have made TONS of progress. (This was a goal of mine before I go into labor, so it feels great to be this far along!)

SEE!
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I don’t even know where to begin tonight.

The words are lost to me – an amazing oversight for a talker like me, I know. I will start by explaining my state of mind lately and try to articulate what my heart is being overwhelmed by.

Thoughts have come at me, usually as phrases from my own memory, from a book I’ll be reading, from time in prayer, or from my husband or a friend. Gentle (usually) reminders steering me back on course. My reflection of late has revealed to me characteristics I don’t particularly like. Complaining. Lack of gratitude. Lack of forgiveness. Impatience. Fear of surrender, of pain, of humility, of so many things. Negative reactions and sharp words with an edginess that hints at some deeper turmoil.

There have been flat out miraculous things happening around me this year, and yet I feel hesitant to embrace them. There has been tremendous displays of sacrifice, love, concern, patience, selflessness, creative energy, positive attitudes — but I allow myself to play the role of one who has been too burned to receive it.

The gifts of those around me, even strangers and newly found friends, have been so incredibly generous. I keep getting this image of God breaking through my self-pitiful reality with outstretched arms, utilizing absolute passerby’s in His attempt to show me grace and snap me out of it.

Examples: A beautiful bouquet of flowers given to me, freely, by the florist at New Seasons. “Every one deserves flowers now and then,” she said. Deserves? Not me lady. Not me. My son holding on to my thigh when I leave for the grocery store, telling me how much he loves me and will miss me – after a week of parenting hell in which I failed miserably at nearly every opportunity to show sacrificial, kind love towards him. A husband who tries to hang on to his last drop of patience with me while I stammer on about the ill-designed layout of Ethan’s “new” used loft bed that took us over 6 hours to piece together, who has clearly had it UP TO HERE with my strange bout of o.c.d. that only comes out on him; still he talks with me, loves me, hears me cry and complain, tries to understand and reaffirm me… but isn’t too shy to tell me when I need to leave him alone and stop being a damn nag . Housemates who see my faults, fatigues, immaturity, biting remarks towards those I love the most, rambling off-balanceness of my demeanor – yet I get sympathetic smiles, hot meals, kefir shakes, a backyard shed, and love, love, love. Friends who show up to Verity’s “Celebration” today with amazing gifts – blueberry plants, herbs and edible starters, homemade cloth diapers and time-consuming stitch-work with sweet little tags. A pregnancy that I have such a difficult time being excited about and grateful for- and yet has been completely PERFECT in every way, and has been such a result of collaboration I wouldn’t know where to begin – from friends and elders who helped my marriage start the road to healing to shockingly generous donations towards my efforts to even afford a midwife to birth her.

Oh, that I could possibly be worthy of so much grace. So much attention. So much sweetness. My heart cannot contain the humbling as a result of this. Finally God’s use of my community has chipped away at my week (or more) of self-consumed funk. Feeling I have nothing to offer in return – no poetic string of words feel genuine enough to convey my gratitude and love, nor my humility at my behavior.

If Verity’s life is anything like the grace I have been given during her bearing — and I believe it is significantly linked — then my only adequate posture is one of complete face-on-the-floor worship. What a wild ride I am in for – I am completely unprepared and don’t deserve an ounce of it… which I’m guessing might be just how God works best.

So today marks my “full term” 37th week, and all I have left to say is, Welcome, Verity.
welcome, truth.

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GO?
Well, not just yet. Not just yet for baby arrivals, not just yet for fully-fledged Spring. But I can feel it. BOY, can I feel it!

I’ve been getting in whatever hours I can before I close in on the “full term” mark, organizing baskets of “Verity” essentials the midwives will need if I go into labor, so on. That is what this week has been about.

That and eating. Always eating.

Here’s some pics for your enjoyment:

Ethan tosses up a little Kenton House gang symbol while giving himself a foot rub

Ethan and Caleb on the tire swing at Kenton Park

Accidentally snapped this one. OH, the mom feet … happens to the best of us, I suppose

I swear, Caleb is Ethan’s long lost male cousin

Ethan’s “I almost forgot Portland had flowers” face

Us on the town last weekend

More lovely signs of early Spring!

Homebirth Preparedness Baskets
Our floor level futon bed and co-sleeper – a cozy way to “lay in” with newborn