Category — Amigos

I am sitting at my dining table in the kitchen where it is warm; the oven holds baked oatmeal and peaches for tonight’s low-maintenance dinner and does a great secondary job of heating up this small home.

I am knitting again, in between writing and peaking on the oatmeal. On the needles is a gift for a dear friend who was one of the first to “order” something when I put out my request for help so I could pay for my course and trip to Milwaukee last weekend. The yarn in my hands is forest heather, a golden flecked emerald DK weight wool, and I’m crafting a handkerchief headband whose pattern title harkens on the forest theme: Lichen.

The special, community supported way in which beginning my teacher training was made possible fills me with gratitude, and as I work to complete each order I am trying to be mindful of the donor the item is going to, filling myself with love and appreciation for their support. It is especially useful that this course is about meditation, as knitting itself can become quite a contemplative exercise. As I work with my hands, in my mind’s eye I am surrounded by large fir trees and a moss covered forest floor like the moist soils of Oregon. The deep green yarn tells of ancient mysteries that lurk behind the trees.

The truth is, my heart is heavy and my mind is unsettled lately, but when I dig deep I find that weightless joy abounds even in the midst of difficult times and decisions. I am delighted and surprised by this; that peace can transcend circumstances and fruitful hope can arise from the decays of failure is a calming anecdote in a world that is sometimes so damn confusing.

The inviting aroma of maple and cinnamon tells me dinner is ready…

In just over 24 hours, the year 2011 will be behind us. All of the events, thoughts, choices, growth, moves, meetings, struggles and successes will be closed up in a place reserved for “that year when…”

2011 was, for me, completely packed with changes. New: state, job, house, plot of soil, goals, community, school, and the minute details that are involved in each. It was very ebb and flow; for example, a long and lazy Summer, deeply experienced and meditatively approached, was followed up quickly by a fast-paced Fall with a vigorous work schedule and the re-awakening of driven choices.

One major choice was that of returning to further my education. As I wrote about recently, my first choice was giving me pause and I stopped to listen to that pause. I listened long enough to hear a gentle nudge in another direction, and discovered a Waldorf Teacher Training program in Wisconsin that partners with a local accredited college to allow students to also receive federal funding for most of the courses as well as eligibility towards a Masters in Education with Waldorf Emphasis. Being “only” 8 hours away, this solution was gloriously ideal.

I applied to the schools (the training institute and the college) and found out that Foundation Studies begin in 3 weeks! My head was spinning a bit, trying to merge all the logistical details into one semi-organized spot in my brain before brainstorming ways in which it could work for me to start on such short notice. Armed with the strength of hope, I got passed my fears and uncertainty about asking for help and sent out a “campaign” of sorts to raise the funds by taking pre-orders on my handmade goods through the Fall. Within 2 days I had enough orders to pay the registration fee, and within a week a few other generous donations towards other logistical costs (car rental, gas, food, babysitter, books). I was at once humbled and enthralled! The support of my community, both financial as well as emotional/spiritual, was opening a door for me that seems improbable if not impossible a year ago.

Next Friday night I will be sleeping (hopefully!) in a dorm in Milwaukee, having begun the first course that evening in my Waldorf teacher training. To say that I am overwhelmed would end 2011 with the understatement of the year!

The course itself, guided by the texts How to Know Higher Worlds (Steiner) and Meditation as Contemplative Inquiry (Zajonc), is definitely right up my alley and a part of my life that greatly needs more focus to bring my whole self into balance. To slow down and live consciously and mindfully has rarely been my strong point. My will and ambition often bites off a bit more than I can chew, and my fear of failing other people too often drives me to complete whatever I’ve set out to do — even when my health, home, and family are the sacrifice. If I am to become a teacher within a Waldorf model, then this is a wonderful place for me to begin — at perhaps my greatest personal struggle.

I have been repeating a Steiner verse to myself and to the kids often these last few weeks. I gravitate to the very thing I find so hard to do at times: find my Inner Quiet, my Silent Self… Christ in me.

Quiet I bear within me,
I bear within myself,
forces to make me strong.
Now will I be imbued with
their glowing warmth,
Now will I fill myself with
my own will’s resolve.
And I will feel the quiet
pouring through my being,
When by my steadfast striving
I become strong,
To find within myself
the source of strength,
The strength of Inner Quiet.
–Rudolf Steiner

2012 will quickly find me GOING – off to start this next adventure, trying not to be insanely worried about my kids back home! (aahhhhhh!) But my intention for the next year is not to be GOING so much. I want to become more of a human being, and less of a human doing. I want to have more time to notice what is right in front of me: when my garden needs water, or my kids’ need some cuddling, or my kombucha needs to be fed, or my sister needs a phone call, … or my body needs to rest.

Simply put, my sole New Year’s resolve is to better live in the present.

Happy New Year, friends.

On Sunday morning the family set out on a hike with our friend/neighbor and her son, along with another family they knew. We didn’t know our destination until we arrived to pick them up, and when she told me Gans Creek trails, at the end of Bearfield Road, I thought, how ironic! You see, we had just been checking out a rental on a road walking distance to this trail the day before (we are still in the process of checking it out, btw). The location was completely unknown to us until this point — seems like the stars were aligning a bit, but who knows?

The hike was lovely. The air was crispy and cool as we set out onto the trail; 5 adults and 5 children noisily bustling ahead. Close in we discover the remains of a crumbled foundation and set out to explore. We balance beam our way along the rocky establishment, mapping out the floor plan and speculating about the era it was built. We find a connected root cellar underground.

I wandered about with my camera, pointing and shooting where it willed. Through the lens I see an old rusty horseshoe, stuck up on a limb of a tree. After some maneuvering with a fallen branch, Chris managed to retrieve my prize and I was totally enamored with this corroded treasure and the stories it told me. My lucky horseshoe.

Nearby I discovered an old electric pole, with little metal house numbers (possibly?) nailed on. I didn’t take the numbers. (But I wanted to.)

The rest of the hike was beautiful. We ended on an expanse of deciduous trees whose turf was rich and mulchy with deer droppings and fallen leaves.

The kids found fairy homes and an all natural jungle gym.

And we found Verity a future husband:

All in all, I’d say it was one very successful outing.

Spending the Labor Day weekend in our ol’ town of Fayetteville, AR. It has been so good to be out in the country visiting relatives, as well as fantastic to see some dear friends Natalie and Luke! We made it to the Fayetteville Farmer’s Market, Little Bread on Block St (heavenly bagels!), stopped in for an amber bead at the bead shop and some marvelous yarn and hand-carved shawl pin at the knitting shop, before heading to the Clothesline Festival in Prairie Grove.

Later, I met up with Natalie and Candice at Brickhouse Kitchen Cafe, where we caught up over a bottle of Prosecco and aged cheddar, followed by an … interesting(!) time at the Karaoke bar. (Suffice it to say, I’m not sure that all the college aged Arkansas State Razorback football fans, decked head to toe in team fan faire in the aftermath of a winning game, truly appreciated our Karaoke rendition of Woody Gunthrie’s “This Land is Your Land”. I am consoled by the most certain fact that Woody himself would have been proud of us )

I’ve snapped a few “keepers” on my camera this weekend but left the necessary plugs to upload at the ol’ tiny house in Columbia, so I’ll post those once we get back. This week begins Ethan’s part-time kindergarten (!!!!!!!) and some new and exciting things are in the works that I’ll share just as soon as details are finalized

So… stay tuned!

Herein chronicles some rather unorganized, but no less sincere, and hopefully at least readable, thoughts I have about home schooling… at the moment.

As many of you know, my kids have never been to a day of “school”, and only just now, as Ethan has turned 6 last week, are we getting the question of “Oh what GRADE is he in?” or “What school are you going to in the Fall?”. I find myself having to begin knowing the most gracious and concise way to answer the questions, particularly an answer that satisfies and reflects who Ethan is, an answer he feels proud to use when questioned himself, so I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this lately (as if I don’t give it a lot of thought already, I know, I know).

(Our answer to “what grade are you in?” is made perhaps even more unconventional because in the Waldorf pedagogy, children at the age of 6 are in the crucial “Seven Year Change” and need to stay in Kindergarten through this year. Signs of readiness have begun, and will continue over the course of the year, but adequate time is to be given to the 6 year old to build up their “forces” so they are truly hungry and ready for the types of “main lessons” that will be introduced in the Waldorf First Grade year, after they have turned 7, rather than the mainstream age of 6 being that of the First Year grade).

In order to give myself less pressure this year, I am enlisting the support of the local waldorf-inspired kindergarten coop 3 mornings a week for Ethan. My goal is that I can focus on my own inner work, reflect on the direction I want to take in the coming year, and also strengthen my primary role as mama; getting more established in our family’s daily, weekly, and seasonal rhythms and connecting with the community and it’s resources so I am not “going it alone”, so to speak.

I hope I am not being overly optimistic here, but I have a sincere “gut” feeling that this year will prove to be a very successful one overall. I sense that I am where I am supposed to be, and that come what may, my experience here will produce tremendous opportunities, especially with regards to my direction with the children.

Contrastingly, I have had one really rough year prior; I have had tremendous doubts and confusion, about parenting issues and about educational options, and never quite felt like I found the answers I was looking for. I did feel alone in my pursuits while in Fayetteville, and exhausted by the feeling of going constantly upstream, against the current of mainstream educational philosophy. I also lacked the resources, like a car during the day, to connect regularly with some of the other parents in the community who might have had really like-minded beliefs and provided more support to me during that time. I had times of utter despair, even in the early phase of our landing here in Columbia, where I felt no other option was available to me but to put Ethan in public school as soon as possible, which was definitely for me a “last resort”. It was about that very time, when I felt I was at my wit’s end, that I finally got my “break” and met the local Waldorf-ish reading group, and from there things have taken such a different turn in so many ways I wouldn’t even know where to begin, but I think I’ve conveyed many of them here in other recent posts.

This has played a huge role in my determination to persevere with home schooling, and I suspect that without some sort of community-based support group, the experience of having a healthy, functioning home school (or unschool!) family would be incredibly taxing – if not impossible—and with ultimate burn-out. If I have any wisdom thus far in my very early journey, it is that finding a few strong fellow travelers who have been down the road further than you is absolutely crucial.

In any case, alternative education is rarely NOT on my mind, not only as a mother determined to provide my children with an experience outside of what the State is designed to provide, but also as a person who has always been interested in being an educator of some sort, but through beginning that collegiate training could not stomach the status quo and current state of the educational offerings available to the most of the public (government institutions, public schools namely).

I want to stress something here. It is not that I am anti-school, or anti-public school. In fact I would call myself a supporter of public school children/parents and any educator within the system that is dedicated to their classroom of children (God bless ‘em – I couldn’t do it!!!). I once read a remark in “And the Skylark Sings with Me” that resonated with some reasons I had personally considered for opting out of public education for my kids:

“In challenging public education’s mission, at least for our children, we implicitly call into question the entire administrative structure of school buildings, scheduled school days and hours and vacation, age-bound grade bands, classrooms with a prescribed number of children assigned, predetermined curricula, and arbitrary though strictly defined schedules for testing and evaluation. Taken together, these serve as the bureaucratic engine by which “adequate” educations are more or less produced; our experience indicates they have next to nothing to do with how children, how humans, optimally learn.” (italics mine)

For me, it was precisely the administrative “system” into which I would have to succumb to be a public school teacher that made me change my major. Regardless of how vastly different schools are from district to district and state to state, and how many amazing initiatives are happening in some public schools, for me the idea that my children would spend the majority of their time each day in that type of classroom environment, flooded with fake lighting and most always learning via bland, regurgitated, censored information in the form of textbooks was major turn-off. It was pretty much a non-negotiable for me that they need a much more invigorating, yet gentle and natural environment than that, and much more time spent at home, with family, and in their own pursuits.

When I thought about how I learn, and how I think all human beings optimally learn (and by learn I mean grasping ideas and concepts deeply into ones consciousness, not just rote memory), I came to the conclusions that: I learn at my own pace, in my own way, and perhaps most importantly – prompted by intrinsic motivation. Indeed, the fact that motivation is provided to public school students (and many other types of students, I might add, including the “school at home” brand of homeschooling) via grades assessments and rewards is a large pill to swallow for me; I believe it fundamentally alters the natural curiosity and desire to learn new things that children are born with, in a sense dumbing them down and utilizing behavioral motivation techniques useful for dogs and rats, but when it comes to the whole child well-being is simply NOT the best answer to the developing mind/body/soul.

(Yes, if you know me at all, you know that I do believe a child needs their “will” pushed along at times… I see a tremendous need for that in our current child-centered culture in fact. I admit I don’t exclusively trust in “intrinsic motivation” in each and every circumstance – which is where I differ from die-hard unschoolers, and where I find some aspects of Waldorf education a satisfying companion to my homeschooling ideals.)

My general thoughts about why I am opting out of public education is that I believe we can do better, and as parents/educators, we should feel called to do better (wherever we are placed, and especially those placed in the current educational system). Whatever schooling chosen for our varied reasons we weigh, not in the least of which comes down at times to simple economics at times – believe me, I know!, we simply must strive to give our children the types of learning experiences that enrich them to their core, at whatever opportunities we can find to do so, (and I have known some extremely awesome public schooled folks whose parents took this to heart and did a stand-up job supplementing them with deeper learning experiences in their hours at home, by the way!)

As for me, I recall too many days sitting in a classroom, listening to a lecture that was flat out uninspired and often not even all that educated, either reading my own material under the desk or writing poems or looking out the window at a lake nearby and wishing I could be out in the sun, feeling the wind on my face. Any real “learning” I have so far achieved, (and this sentiment seems to be shared by many parents who have decided to homeschool) has taken place outside a classroom setting.

I also began to realize these last few years that few (but important!) things are needed for the attainment of knowledge, and I don’t mean just book smarts but overall mind and life “learning” and preparation. Practical things, really. In no particular order, they would be: 1.) a community (this would include folks to live and learn alongside you, as well as cultural resources and mentor/teacher relationships, and finally service opportunities — and optimally community worship opportunities that provide the family with spiritual nourishment); 2.) a library/ or similar large catalog of resources; plenty of time outdoors in natural environments, having sensory experiences with things being studied; and perhaps idealistically I add, 3.) a rhythmic, nurturing home life (it doesn’t have to be perfect… but striving towards good rhythms, boundaries, and nurturing is definitely important!) I really believe these few things provide all one needs to obtain whatever level of knowledge they desire, and if given these, an unencumbered human will learn, all the time, for a lifetime.

Notice what is not on my list. Not special toys, educational or otherwise. Not expensive text books and curriculum. Not high tech gadgets, (I recently saw an ad for a school in which the students were all supplied with iPADS, which would be the learning tool they would utilize to the exclusion of all else — even proudly marketing that the students dissect a “digital” frog in biology! This is the exact route I am … pretty much vehemently against. I am not against technology by any means, but this is unnatural! How can one truly interact on a deeper level with the experience of viewing the inner physiology of a frog if they can’t access the specimen with any senses but their eyes?! I would argue that a good space to interact with wildlife –a state park creek is a fine example — is infinitely more valuable than a digital frog to dissect and label the parts! But I digress… few things annoy me more than expensive electronics labeled “educational”…)

Furthermore, history, if nothing else, has already done a great job in proving that brilliant thinkers, prodigies, and folks of various genius, (some in fields of science, politics, arts and humanities, and many just as adept at lesser-recognized but no less noble “fields” of child-rearing, homemaking, and community activism!) have not attained their means of knowledge via the government run educational system. There really isn’t, as far as I am concerned, any reason to speculate that it is the ultimate and optimal form of education – in fact I would say its not only unnecessary for the attainment of knowledge, but often the very system that hinders would-be brilliant thinkers. With this reason alone in mind, (though there are more), I never really see the point in the many questions that one inevitably gets once their decision to opt out of state run schooling is made known, questions such as “what if they don’t get properly socialized” or “are you really qualified to educate your children?” or, my favorite, “how will you ensure they are learning?” (as if they are EVER not learning, for one thing, and for another, I have many more doubts about their ability to learn in the public school environment than in their ability to learn outside of it!)

Rudolf Steiner, who began the first Waldorf School and which its subsequent pedagogy is aimed at mimicking, presented one alternative approach to the schooling of children:

“Steiner believed that conventional education stifled spiritual growth and led to dead, abstract thinking and stunted lives that characterize a society based on materialism.” – Rudolf Steiner, by Gary Lachmann

Waldorf education is built on a different assumption than that of Materialism (the philosophy that all of reality can be deduced to physical matter) – the main one being that a child IS a spiritual being, and thus the approach to the child’s learning is to nourish the “whole” child (as most would understand it, mind/body/soul — though some of you may realize that to Steiner there were more aspects to a person than just these three, lol. I won’t “go there” today).

Because of this view of child development on this multi-faceted level, the curriculum, if you could call it that, is structured very differently than that of state-run programs:

“Seven-to-fourteen year olds… are taught in a way that will nurture their imaginations, through pictures, stories, and other imaginative experiences. With puberty, the shift is to inspiration… when the ideas which were at first introduced in images can now be grasped directly. Then, with the age of twenty-one – recognized by many as the point of maturity, although, to be sure, maturation can and should continue throughout life – … the possibility of self-education arrives, which is the work of intuition.” – above biography

Now, this may sound a bit too much like the “age based” tenet of public school that I said is one of the problems I have with it, in an earlier quote (the previous quote was from an “unschooling” or “life learning” father, so that may help explain his emphasis). But what I wanted to get across in provided the insights of Waldorf education is that there is a intense aim at recognizing and nourishing the whole child, as they mature through each stage of development, and a keen observation of that child’s needs.

It is from this view of the child that I come to another of my main reasons to opt out of the public educational setting, or any that mimic it, because such whole-child needs can hardly be provided for in a large classroom setting, where an exhaustive amount of restrictions abound about what materials must be used, how they will get, if any, hands-on experiences to engage their studies with all of their senses, the types of meals provided for by the state, the types of dull, sub-alive elements (plastic, fake lighting, fake wood, etc) that surround them for hours and hours each day, — my list could go on.

The Steiner biography’s author sums up the point of Waldorf education nicely, I think:

“The central idea is to create a learning environment which can motivate live thinking and active imagination, and not the mere mechanical parroting of the lesson at hand…”

Many alternative forms of education has the above central idea, including many charter schools and private schools based on other pedagogies. I think that’s, well, that’s quite a start! If we could truly grasp this goal in our approach to education, I think the details would be less and less important ,and the overall values between alternative educational pedagogies would find a common chord. (And would that even public education be completely rebuilt and renewed with the aim of motivating live thinking and active imagination! Think of that!)

“A learning environment which can motivate live thinking and active imagination” is precisely what I want for my children, who, let’s face it, already have a Creator-given propensity towards “live thinking” as well as an “active imagination” – so my job is to ultimately nourish these current capacities!

And one last thought I feel necessary to add, is that of “end result” thinking when it comes to the decisions we make about schooling, particularly about preparation for adult life, future careers, or what college they will get into. I caution myself, and others in this journey, to not focus too much on this aspect of it, even if doing so is a bit against the grain. John Holt’s books talk about this a lot and I’ve gained valuable insight from them, freeing myself from the need to “showcase” my child’s achievements as proof that something I am doing with them is “working” (what does that even mean, anyway?!). Here I leave you with another quote from, “And the Skylark Sings with Me” that articulated this caution well, and culminates some of the thoughts I have shared today:

“I find there is something disempowering in the formulaic, “My Homeschooled Kid Got into Yale… and Yours Can Too!” genre, as it suggests that the learning experiences our children acquire today are intrinsically less valuable than those they might receive in the future at an institution more venerable than our backyard. We consider it important to resist the temptation to narrowly conceive of education as “preparation for life.” Children are living, breathing, learning beings in the present moment, and satisfying their need to learn is critical to their current quality of life, which has its own inherent value, whatever tomorrow may bring. If there is anything typical of my kids, it is, as of all children – unless or until it is ground out of them – their delight in discovery.”

We continue to bend around the slightly new way of life here in Columbia, as various things in our lives are coming under the scrutiny of our will to evolve and grow without cumbersome bad habits holding us back. Sometimes these ruts in life get started, and things are so strained and stretched that merely surviving is about the highest level of functioning that seems available. The entire year we spent in Fayetteville seemed like that, combined with long hours for Chris at work, and my catching illness after illness. Thank God, truly, for how different things have been in our short time since moving; my health has been stellar (haven’t even had allergy symptoms, and I’m beginning to tolerate gluten again!) – which has afforded me with a little stamina to make some little adjustments; little internal (or external at times) push on the train tracks – ever so slightly array – so that a new course is set.

Today we altered our family course by handing over some checks – solidifying our decision to sacrifice some funds to the enrollment fee to get Ethan in with the waldorf co-op here in town, both for a 2 week summer camp as well as the 3 mornings per week “kindergarten” (ages 4-7) next year. I also went to my second “book discussion” group with the waldorf community (teachers, parents, etc) today – we are reading through Eugene Schwartz “The Millennial Child” – good stuff! (I’m embarrassingly fascinated by the history of educational pedagogies and parenting philosophies – this is my version of GEEKING OUT!)

Today marks day number 10 of our “zero screen time” policy for Ethan. It’s been wonderful, even though at times (like when it is cold and raining outside and BOY that PBS kids could come in handy with my wired and whiney 5 year old!) I have had to really dig in deep to establish this new rhythm and live in a new way with my children – where there is no alternative to living together, playing together, cooking together, gardening together; to set myself (and Chris) as the authority in this way and to respectfully deny Ethan access to ANY screen time (nothing that makes electronic noise – though I have caved to a little music now and then – I don’t think I’ll ever give up listening to the classical music and programming on NPR on the radio during the day!) I’ll go into this facet of our lives more in another post, as I continue to analyze and test this decision for myself (it is not without great theorizing – I am a Mass Communications major, after all!). For now, the TV lies helplessly in the corner of the living room with two big, lovely play silks hung over it – a fluid work of art rather than a black box of digitized entertainment. Of course, Chris and I have no such rules and will on occasion catch up on a show or two, or watch a film together, after bedtime hours.

Ver just insists on hanging by herself on the monkey bars – remember when it was that easy?!

Another post for another time will be my thoughts on how to merge waldorf and unschooling – two driving (for me) and seemingly opposing ways of not just schooling, or even homeschooling, but indeed of family life as well! I am sort of in observation mode at the moment – reading a biography on Rudolf Steiner while reading How Children Learn (Holt) and trying to find the nuggets that build the bridge between the apparent tensions in the two approaches. Also, I have the fortunate opportunity now to be in this book discussion group I mentioned, where one of the leaders is a veteran of “waldorf” and “unschooling” simultaneously with her own three children, all of whom are grown. Such a wealth of wisdom I think all of us younger moms feel when we can “sit at her feet”, if you will, and see how she creatively and by all accounts, successfully, merged these two methods that appealed so much to her (as they do to me). But as I said, that’s for another time. I’m still gathering my thoughts there.

Verity recently celebrated her 2 year birthday, a sweet moment where she shyly hid in my skirt while we sang “Happy Birthday”. Her cake was a gluten-free vanilla cake with cream cheese mango icing, decorated with violets from the yard and two little beeswax candles. Happy Birthday, angel!

Let’s see… last weekend, we hit the farmer’s market, potted some herbs in pots from the thrift store, made more stock, hit a few garage sales (found myself a fishing pole – I am beyond excited to go fishing soon!), and weathered a strangely cold and wet May weekend. I, however, got a mama’s day out on Sunday, and spent a glorious afternoon at Uprise working, to be followed by a free movie at RagTag Cinema (a perk of being married to an Uprise employee!) where I enjoyed (immensely!) the film Jane Eyre (SO good!) alone with a $2.75 glass of red wine on a cozy little swivel chair. Have I mentioned how very much I love that Chris works there?! What a treat! (I envision more of these rare and invigorating afternoons in my future!)

our bog…

In other news, we dug a rain garden in a moist area of a backyard to channel the overflow of our rain away from saturating all of the ground into a slippery clay during rains. Er… it is more like a bog at this point. I am awaiting some rain and some toads and tadpoles and dragonflies (hopefully very hungry ones who will happily devour the inevitable mosquito larvae the standing water will attract!). I want it to be more like a wildlife habitat/pond with some native shade loving plants in and around it and a small amount of water to support a healthy little ecosystem. I envision the day when I see butterflies, bees, water beetles, dragonflies, toads, birds, and whatever other critters will find a little tiny spot of nature in my urban backyard. Sigh. Patience!

showing off our backyard clay creations

Ethan has been busy shoveling soil – er, clay – and finding the BAZILLIONS of cicadas hiding a few inches below the surface – our chickens are downright gorging themselves on this steady helping of delicious bugs for several hours a day. Our backyard is an all-you-can-eat buffet for my hefty gals. The four pre-teen hens we got last month are already full of adult feathers and are learning to scratch around the run and eat grass and leftovers. So far, no crowing – a good sign we have all girls, and therefore will soon have 6 hens giving us at least a half dozen of free range eggs a day! To say I have chicken-raising fever would be an understatement. Ignoring the raised eyebrows of our family members several years ago, I set out to raise backyard chickens and have loved every minute of it. So easy, so rewarding, so fun. Every one should have themselves a pair of hens.

I needle felted the kids this caterpillar – I just love these little wool creatures and how “alive” they feel. A satisfyingly quick project for an evening with hubby away at ping pong night with some co-workers (dad’s night out!).

Tomorrow we have plans to visit Rock Bridge State Park to play in some creeks and have a picnic lunch with a family we met a few weeks ago (at their garage sale). The homeschooling mom of FIVE boys graciously called to invite us out – I know Ethan will have a blast. Oh – she is also passing on her huge blackboard to us, how cool is that? Surely a feature in the next “Simple Pleasures” series of gifted, bartered, thrifted, etc etc…

This weekend we head to Fayetteville, AR! Can’t wait to see my dear friends and family I have been sorely missing.

Well, here’s where I wrap up my ramblings and save the rest for another day. Until then…

There has been some tough financial struggles lately (not uncommon for us, I know) but it has more than any other time in our lives enabled me to dig in deep with the feeling of discontent, impatience, inconvenience, and so on that arise when funds allow only for the most basic of household needs.

{{Before I go on, let me take a moment to apologize for the wordy length of this post. Sorry. Also, you will be rewarded with pictures at the end. But don’t skip ahead just because I told you that, because the content explains the pictures. (gotcha!) }}

I began reading some really excellent financial books that have given me some valuable ideas and resources, but most importantly the validation that living a life of frugality is indeed a freeing and valid choice (however un-American it feels at first!). The topic is exhaustive so I won’t go into all the details, but some resources for me have been primarily Radical Homemakers (my go-to!), Your Money or Your Life, and recently The Scavenger’s Manifesto, Made from Scratch and the Tightwad Gazette (check these out at your library!). There is so much about it that fascinates me as a subject matter and lifestyle choice, as it takes a certain amount of confidence to transcend the idea that voluntary simplicity (and foraging/scavenging/bartering/waiting/and often going without) is a deprived, resource-less, bohemian (though this word might actually be appropriate) life of poverty (or worse – laziness).

I can acutely feel the pressure, on many fronts, to just forget this whole business of living simply and just get a job job, put Ethan in public school, and force myself onto that hamster wheel because what I’m faced with if I do not do so seems too exhausting, lonely, challenging, and doomed-from-the-start. But I have never been one to unquestionably accept the status quot solution without at least researching and utilizing some alternatives that don’t compromise my heart’s values and desires.

To view the lifestyle instead as a challenge in resourcefulness and ingenuity and invention (the daughter of necessity?), a call to radically reject the consumer cycle (as the Scavenger Manifesto calls it, the “Want-Get” mentality) of materialism and waste and the myth of “choices”, and to capitalize on the lack of excess as a catalyst for gaining increased self-sufficiency and experience.

It’s been heavy at times, as I sit with the reality of compulsive choices I have made, the “treats” I wanted to “deserve” over the years and the financial pressures we have incurred both from our own choices or those of the “down economy”. While I have never had what I would have called affluence, often forgoing large things like extra vehicles or a house with more space than I need or vacations or store-bought clothes, I had to recognize that we had made choices with where what little money we had fell between the cracks (where did it go?!) on silly things like convenience food (i.e. “oh, we are going to the library, we’ll stop and grab bagels first”), expensive cheeses (next I need to learn how to be a foodie on a budget!), library fines, shipping fees, so on.

Our plan to move to Columbia and for Chris to take this flexible, enjoyable, sustainably-minded, locally-owned job was a calculated risk and I am in no way making it work without flaws just 4 weeks into this venture… *yet*. For our entire marriage I have worked (I’ve held a job since I was 14, for that matter), I financed over 90% of my private-education undergrad degree with grants/scholarships and work credits, and since having children I have been the main earner generating income from my own at-home business. Yet, for a variety of reasons I have shared in the past on this blog, we have been taking steps to switch these roles for sometime now, as continuing down that path left me stressed, strapped, unorganized, unhappy, and unable to homeschool. So I knew there would be sacrifices, but the idea that I could creatively figure this out was incredibly motivating for me and continues to be as I think of new ways to live and think about the choices we can make to realize this “dream” of living simply, learning more, feeling more enriched and fulfilled by a life of time and resources to live generously — while making as a household income less than we have EVER earned before, even while in college.

So rather than recount the unexpected bills and financial upsets to our last 4 weeks (though there have indeed been those too!), I want to move on to the fun stuff, the things that I am finding just slap-knee exciting about learning to be a tight-wad!

First of all, I think being frugal is a lot easier if you live amongst other frugals; in community with swappers, food growers, barterers, pickers, foragers, forgoers, and coupon-clippers. It kinda validates the lifestyle, which is definitely counter-cultural otherwise. I think these folks exist just about everywhere, you just gotta find them — and be willing to be their equal.

Secondly, there are a lot of hidden perks to being frugal that, if you can let go of the concept of “Want-Get” mentality, are pretty rad. Clothing swaps with stylishly-dressed donators are fun and easy. Garage sales and “free bins” amaze me. Bartering goods and services is highly effective. Learning a new skill so you don’t have to pay some one to do it for you is way more satisfying. Paying only a quarter of your previous monthly vehicle gasoline budget when every one on the news is lamenting the climbing gas prices is reassuring. Having even just a few bucks left over at the end of the week, rather than going into more debt, is rewarding. Learning to wait for something you would have just ran out to get as soon as you “needed” it, like a washer/bike/freezer/radio/whatever until you have saved for it and found the right deal (hopefully free!) fosters a feeling of contentment and relaxation, a mindfulness about accumulating goods. Keeping track of receipts, organizing bills, and forgoing “treats” is, well, it’s growing up, (and it also reducing a BUTTLOAD of anxiety at the end of a pay cycle! who knew? )

I will be posting again a weekly series I call Simple Pleasures – a record of things that were bartered, gifted, thrifted, made, grown, saved for, or given away that brought pleasure to my life each week:

Things like…

A family walk to the public library (which boasts NO limits and NO late fees!), where we forage for edible dandelions and violets, sight a groundhog, and work off belly fat – who needs a gym membership when you have legs?!). Our ten dollar weekly budget that gets us 2 gallons of raw milk and 2 pints of raw cream (homemade cream cheese!) every Monday on our neighbor’s doorstep. The bags FULL of amazing books, music and documentaries we bring back from the library. The free use of internet around town. The free movies we rent for family movie night at 9th Street Video because Chris works at Uprise. The free (local) coffee both Chris and I get from Uprise while renting the free movies at 9th street, on our way to getting the free books from the library. The knitted gifts to trade for babysitting. The free movie tickets on our date night and the $5 (total) we spent for the organic wine and beer we enjoyed while watching the movie. The outings of packed lunches at the park and nature trails just outside the city. The Easter baskets filled with sprouted wheat grass (seeds a gift from a friend) and sales on the organic bulk bin candy which filled saved egg shells from breakfast. The downright gourmet meals that can be made with a friends’ surplus garden grub and bulk natural foods from Azure Standard. The upcoming “Columbia’s Really Really Free Market” and the free backyard chicken processing workshop I will attend in the coming weeks (bringing home the bird for dinner!). The fishing I will take up this summer to catch a good supply of trout and the harvest I will reap and keep from my garden beds, whose compost was generously gifted to us in exchange for a half dozen of our chicken eggs and the tomato and pepper starts donated to us from the local urban farms surplus, (thank you Luke!)

… you get the idea. SIMPLE pleasures that offset some of the difficulties we have faced, and brought meaning and blessing to my life in often surprising ways.

It’s really quite fun to get even crazier!

This little home economics notebook from 1917 that I found at a thrift store was really inspiring. I’m fascinated with homemakers of the bygone era, who made due with as little as 1,200 yearly salary. Had to take a picture (but not buy! lol)

A virtually free (did have to spend a little money on the sweets), hand-made Easter tradition…

Easter brunch of whatever is on hand – quail eggs (a gift from sweet friend Natalie), fruit, plain yogurt with raw honey…

A simple park outing can be entertaining, fun, and even a bit of a break… at no cost at all!

Who needs a mall playground (without actually intending it, we haven’t stepped foot in a shopping mall in over 2 years and counting!) when you have nature trails, dandelions to blow, rocks to throw in a creek, and bridges to run across?!

I typically walk out of the library with armloads of books, as there are no limits, no late fees, and a great selection. This week’s focus was homeschooling resources…

Free meals during his shift, Chris enjoys free freshly made artisan sandwiches with locally raised meat sources, along with a glass of organic beer, 5-6 times per week. I have been impressed with how this has reduced the amount of groceries we go through each week! (gosh, his job sure sounds terrible, doesn’t it? )

Family dance jams are a nice way to pass the time…

Foraged edibles from the front yard – violets, dandelion flowers and leaves – beautiful, free nourishment

Diggin in dirt rarely gets old… finding worms, black beetles, grubs and cicada’s is just too fun!

“new” used books from the library used book sale

Tire swings from the tires just replaced on the car – endless hours of entertainment (I’ve lovingly nicknamed this swing Jenna the Babysitter)

This old suitcase ($1) and milk glass saucer (.25) from the end of a garage sale now serves as my undergarment storage and homemade salad dressing dispenser (respectively)

Big pile of great Spring sweaters (free from a clothing swap)

$1 garage sale vintage lamp base that just whispers my name…

Doll clothes found in a “free” basket!

A frugal “pantry” of bulk foods, collected eggs, and home brews…

A vintage typewriter for my prose (free in exchange for me learning to tinker with it and get a new ribbon)

So often in life, the things I thought were downright rotten no good luck, indeed clouds of curse following me around my days, turned out to be – as if by some Great Planner – small redirections that probably kept me from worse blunders ahead.

I won’t share the whole fiasco today involving my car and a moment of OHMYGOD-it’s-dead, followed by my OH-DUH-I’m-just-out-of-gas realization after I had dramatized the situation and shed some tears and all that embarrassing stuff. We’ll just leave it at that.

Suffice it to say, I seem to be hitting the same road signs again and again lately (wait, am I going in circles?!), and most of them go something like, “CHILL OUT. TRUST ME. I HAVE A PLAN!”

But I digress.

In other news, we welcomed 4 new members (1 is hiding in the other corner in the photo below) to our urban homestead today, and I can’t say enough about how cute, cute, CUTE these little gals (hopefully!) are! Ethan summed it best when he said, “Oh my gosh, I don’t know but every time I look at them it’s like I’m going to cry because they are just so cute!”

Meet…

Stormy, the barred rock chick, smallest of the quartet, who is spunky, loud and dodges being held like the plague. Her eggs will be brown, similar to our current laying hens, Magic and Daffodil (a Rhode Island Red and Gold-Sex Link, respectively).

Nutmeg, who narrowly escaped the hatchery box to head home with our lot when Chris chimed in that this was his favorite and we kicked out a cute little copper-colored one to make room for this little speckled Americauna. All I can say after careful observation is that Nutmeg is a good eater. I’m not surprised her and Chris felt a connection.

Lulla, another Americauna whose coloring looks slightly like Nutmeg, but with unmistakable chipmunk-like markings rather than speckles (at least thus far, on her chick down – the eventual adult feathers could be quite different!). Ethan named her Lullaby, which we shortened to Lulla. She is robust and docile and seems to mind her own business.

And lastly, my personal fav, is Celeste, a little fluffy angelic cream-colored Americauna with nice green hues to her legs (a sign of good “easter egg” blueish/green eggs which are the signature of Americauna’s, like Nutmeg and Lulla as well). She happens to be the biggest (or just fluffiest) of the bunch and is quiet, sleepy, and seems to not mind being held in the least. She falls asleep in your palm almost immediately. I’ve seen her prance around and eat her fill, but her general demeanor is calm and chill.

I just love chick-raising time of year. This is the 3rd time we’ve brooded chicks and it’s beginning to feel like an annual rite of passage in April. I love watching them, so little for such a very short amount of time, as they provide endless entertainment. Soon they’ll be sprouting larger, darker feathers and looking all gaggly like awkward teenagers and attempting to fly out of their brooding box.

I am crossing my fingers that this group continues down an all-female path (roosters are a no-go in city limits). And I can’t wait, CANNOT WAIT I TELL YOU, for the day that I reach into the nest box and pull out a colorful selection of brown and easter-blue eggs!

I have a special affinity for easter eggers (Americauna’s or Araucana’s). Last month I purchased a dozen eggs at the co-op from a local farm, that upon opening I was enthralled to find every single one a various shade of creamy blue and green hues! I waited a week before cracking them because they were so beautiful. And the yolk is always extra yellow, making scrambled eggs look sort of neon! Even after eating them, I saved a few shells to make some dear friends some beeswax egg candles:

Other than bringing home baby chicks today, I’m happy to report that we got our bazillion loads of laundry done at the laundry mat yesterday (no more fights with the drying lines – for now), and we spent a few hard-working hours in the sun yesterday putting up the chicken run. We clipped the hens wings (they’re rockin’ flyers, but they need to stay lower and confined to their run, for our neighboring yard is full of dogs) and made an area for the compost heap and hanging feeder, as well as a new nesting box made of a storage tote with a hole cut out of the lid (non-wood means less worry about mites). We also recycled one of our used tires as a dusting box for the hens (nice size and the “lip” on the top helps them bathe without kicking up too much dust into their face). They were flippin’ out to have a sunny day to throw a new bag of sand around and scratch up a newly forming pile of winter leaves and rotting kitchen scraps. Seriously, who needs TV when you have these critters to watch?!

Ethan is ever enjoying his new mama-made hoola hoop:

Ver sporting her mama-knitted “spring” cap:

And enjoying the tree swing immensely:

Spring has sprung in our yard with a lone yellow tulip:

Ethan finding himself a bright palette of Springtime colors in his watercoloring:

I snagged the best swing jumping photo ever, of Luke and Natalie our Columbia friendies, at our picnic last Sunday at Lake Stephens Park:

Pots of coffee are now brewed in this old stainless steel percolator that I snatched up for 20 bucks at a resale store several years ago and just recently decided to put to good use. Still works great! (and check out the lovely jar of raw cream from a local pastured dairy farm – just $1.75!)

Another highlight this week was a rare seafood dinner (seafood is a little pricey when you are landlocked as we are here); I scored some wild caught salmon (frozen, but beggers can’t be choosers, eh?) on major sale, so this evening the kids and I feasted on blood oranges and rosemary salmon fillets with amaranth and steamed edamame to compliment.

So that’s the newsy news. I am going back to my books and raw milk maple steamer, while listening to the sound of wittle bitty chirps float through the air…

Today is my birthday! Becoming twenty-er-something is not a huge milestone, but the reminder to celebrate life (side note – my name means “full of life” ) and appreciate all that I have is a welcomed one any day of the year.

These last few weeks I’ve been trying to reduce my intake of grains, and have noticed that I may actually be very gluten-sensitive, but this has only been since a stomach bug I had in January so I believe my gut has been left depleted and wacky. In the meantime, I am enjoying eating and cooking nourishing foods, and this morning as a birthday treat I made myself (and indirectly, my family) some gluten-free cream cheese coffee cake. It’s divine, especially with a little extra maple syrup on the top

I am feeling like celebrating today, despite any concerns or inconveniences that are inevitably part of life on this rock. My husband, darling man that he is, brought me home the most delightful assortment of houseplants for my birthday, from nearby Brick Street Botanicals, a natural florist/nursery in downtown Rogers. I especially love the driftwood and old fruit crate used as planters – how lovely!

My sweet toothy-grinned child woke up before me this morning and made me THREE cards and several drawings, excited to show me what he made for me for my birthday. Here is one, where he is phonetically spelling out Happy Birthday and drew me a little cake with candles I also heard him trying to get Verity to practice saying “Happy Birthday, Mama” – it just brings tears to my eyes to be so loved by such beautiful creatures.

Tonight I’m planning a fun gluten-free dinner: coconut baked shrimp, baked potatoes, and glazed carrots. Afterwards, I’m crossing my fingers that I can pull off this amazing looking Deep Dark Chocolate Tart (gluten, dairy, and refined sugar free!) for my birthday cake. (Every one needs something baked and chocolate for their birthday, I don’t care how old you are!)

I was tickled to find so many birthday wishes when I woke up and checked my email and facebook. What a life to have lived only 27 years and have so many dear friends, family, and acquaintances. I am so truly blessed.

One message this morning was so sweet and thoughtful. My beautiful friend from middle/high school wrote me and included some snippets from a book I had made her of birthday quotes for her birthday – must have been around 14(?). Some were original quotes from me, which really made me grin at my younger self:

“Doing God’s Will is like being employed for a job you love with lots of benefits.” – Vivian Rose Melody
“Love until the day you die and you will never really die.” – vrm

Ha! Too cute.

So tomorrow, very very early, we are heading back up to Columbia, MO. Have a few things to scope out and will tell you more about that as things pan out. In the meantime, I wish you all a day worth celebrating

Happy Summer Solstice, friends!

Yesterday we celebrated with friends, bringing in the season to the light of a bonfire in the country (the kind of location that calls for directions such as “turn left at the wooden heart shaped house number sign” and “turn right at the sign that says “WOAH”. Luv it.)

We marshed us some mallows and splashed in a pool of pond water underneath a moonlit sky. The dogs chased fireflies and the Neverland tribe (10 or so?) of children were foot loose and fancy free. It was marvelous. We rolled in just before midnight, in time to shower off and hit our inviting beds as Summer declared itself HERE.

Needless to say, the husband had to be up at 6am for work today while the rest of us laid in bed until close to 9. As I come in now from hanging clothes on the line mid-day (usually the heat is so bad you just HAVE to do this chore early in the AM – sleeping in on a homestead is NOT a good option!) the sweat beads on my red forehead can attest: Ye’Sir, it’s Summer!