Pressure

Sometimes the best thing God does for us is nothing.

The sentence above was the central theme of the church community’s discussion last Sunday. Poignant for so many, I am sure. Certainly is for me.

The phrase has been said to me, in different words by various people and circumstances, more times in the last few months than I can remember. “Do nothing.” “Maybe just, don’t do anything? Nothing but what is needed for today.” “Stop doing…” or “Don’t just do something, sit there.”

So my husband has found work, for today. Also for today, the venture I had been so hard at work on planning (the play school), is unable to come to fruition at this time, in this house. In many ways, I am being forced to do nothing for the first time in a long time.

Which isn’t to say I’m literally doing nothing. Just that the pressure is off. I can hang the clothes on the line, make oatmeal, flip through my books, read to the kids, take long walks, do a little work as time allows… and otherwise just kinda… wait.

Wait, and dream, and hope, and plan. But not too much. Trying to not live with one foot always in “tomorrow” (a nasty habit of mine). Trying to be grateful for this breather, this pressure-free space. Feels so abnormal, but… I think I like it! Trying not to propel myself into the next thing, but rather see if the next thing comes along all on its own.

And it always does, doesn’t it? One of the few things you can count on is that, eventually, things happen.

Suddenly, with this view, my life becomes very small. The years that have lead me to where I am are very short (I’m only twenty-flippin-six, for crying out loud). The years I have to get to places I want to be are very long. There is time.

There is time.