(It’s quite possible that)
this life is all about
silly impressions of each other
while all around us
water.
falls.
(loudly.)

(It’s quite possible that)
this life is all about
noticing fungus
(or flowers.)

(It’s quite possible that)
this life is all about
choosing whether to be
creepy
or cute.
(or both.)

(It’s quite possible that)
life is all about
being yourself
-together.

Here I begin a new ritual at Mama Seasons: sharing, in photos, a few special things, a few special words, from my week:

Good morning, my little wild flower sprouts. So glad you survived the snow.

A sweet addition for Ethan’s table: beeswax egg candles. They warm our hearts.

Our new family pet: “Kiwi” is an all natural, genuine sheepskin/leather kiwi bird stuffed animal made in New Zealand. He was looking at me longingly as I perused the church yard sale. Finally, I caved and dolled out the .25 cents to bring him home with me. We all love him so. (For the sake of sharing my discoveries, I also got away with some wool sweaters (for felting), a soaker hose (for the rain barrels we are building), and an old Rodale’s “Naturally Delicious Desserts and Snacks” book. I think my bill was $2.)

I finished a simple wool shrug to keep Verity’s shoulders warm in the chilly Spring days. This will go with a little pillowcase dress I’m making for her birthday this month (more on that another time.)

Finally finished this sweet sundress I knitted/sewed for my niece’s 1st birthday (which was now almost a month ago, doh!) It’s gonna be put in the mail this week, guys, I promise!

That’s it for my week in photos. May you all have small moments to capture your heart this week…

If you see elements of garbage in you, like fear, despair, and hatred, don’t panic. As a good organic gardener, a good practitioner, you can face this: “I recognize that there is garbage in me. I am going to transform this garbage into nourishing compost that can make love reappear.

…

When you sit at a cafe, with a lot of music in the background and a lot of projects in your head, you’re not really drinking your coffee or your tea. You’re drinking your projects, you’re drinking your worries. You are not real, and the coffee is not real either. Your tea and you coffee can only reveal itself to you as a reality when you go back to your self, and produce your true presence, freeing yourself from the past, the future, and from your worries. When you are real, the tea also becomes real and the encounter between you and the tea is real. This is genuine tea drinking.”

- Thich Nhat Hanh, “Anger”

Thich Nhat Hanh has been teaching me about mindfulness as a tool in embracing and balancing my anger. It’s certainly no surprise that I get angry sometimes, we all do. Self-care, aka “me time”, is so very hard to come by as a mom with young one’s, and that reality leaves me often drained and tired. It’s called being a mom, right? For the next two days I have about 20 projects on my to-do list, ranging from LOTS of work for 3 various clients and things I can’t continue to put off (like filing my taxes, writing so and so, calling that credit agency, UNPACKING MY SUITCASE from my move a month ago, finish painting the office, start the rest of the seeds, order my bulk foods and let others know about the new Fayetteville drop, find a futon so we don’t continue sleeping on the floor, finish a logo for dad, email my uncle, getting FOUR packages in the mail [first must finish the sewing on one of them]… should I go on???) Amidst all of these projects, I also have worries; trying to plan a trip to see some family in Louisiana, concern over a family member who is in a bad way right now, relationships that still need to be tended to and mended, and the ever-present fear that I’m not giving the kids the childhood they deserve…

But tonight is the only night of my entire week that the house is anything close to still. Chris is gone, Ethan is sleeping (sometimes so is Ver), and each week I find myself tapping into the things I truly love: I light candles, I have a bowl of homemade chicken broth, I read a little from my book, I knit for a few, I sip a glass of Pinot Noir, I hum as I wipe down counters, do dishes, hang clothes, so on. The house is quiet and smells like the sage bush that is burning. It is relatively clean and orderly, and I am in the present. What I do is present and mindful. My prayers are free and full of surrender.

I like Wednesday nights. Even if I have to work, I bask in the solitude and am grateful for the renewal.

The rest of the week is nothing like this; a sharp contrast, in fact. It is loud. We all too often find ourselves exhausted from pushing each other’s buttons, suffering as we punish each other with threats (i.e. “stop running in the house or you can’t have any blueberries!!!”: this threat happens with more animosity and more frequently than you can possibly imagine!), and making countless excuses as to why we can’t be present with each other or ourselves.

Moments of compromise, hugs, mediation and communication DO happen – a lot actually. Yes, my entire day is devoted to the kinks that are being “family”. Work and homemaking and marriage and motherhood are all integrated into one big goopy mess from the moment that I roll out of bed (or before, as Ethan is banging on my door, Chris is hinting that he might explode, Verity is nursing and wetting the sheets underneath me, and I lay there: OH MY GOD. THIS IS LIFE???) and this is before 7 am. Yes, work-at-home-motherdom in all its pros and cons. Or am I focusing on the cons for the moment? Forgive me.

This is why the hour I have to myself for the ENTIRE WEEK is so savory to me. Some people get this solitude 99% of their daily lives or in the very least while in their daily commute in the car — but maybe that keeps some of them inflexible and unadaptable to life’s chaos and inconveniences. I am grateful for the character building, challenging tight rope that is full time motherhood, for those reasons. But every one needs the silence, the reflection, the mindful energy. That is how we stay balanced and tap into the parts of ourselves that are centered and steady.

My prayer is that I can bring about the inner-peace and calm of this one hour through out my week, in the midst of work and house projects and life with 3 other full-time family members. The husband just walked in the door five minutes ago and already the home is filled with needs, ideas, and chatter. The bubble is burst

And so, goodbye.

The honey bees have come out to play

Dandelion
Dandy Dandelion was a handsome fellow,
With his coast of green, and his vest of yellow;
He had lots of gold, he was very lazy,
So he chose to scold a modest little daisy.

Silly little daisy, foolish little flower,
Imitating me, to your best of power;
Just then some one passed, who his cane was swinging,
Snapped off Dandelion, ceased his accent singing.

Daisy at the sight, dropped a tear of sorrow,
Closed her eyes and died, opened on the morrow;
Every one that passed, gazing with delight,
Asked her where she found gems, so pure and bright.”

- from “Kindergarten Gems; Stories and Rhymes for Little Folks“

We will be more officially entering a learning unit of birds and wild flowers in our area now that our guide books have come in. We are so excited to learn more about the birds that our in our own yard. There are three male cardinals that hang out in our front tree religiously, as well as a female or two. We have a few graceful doves out there, along with a house finch and titmouse, too. Ethan just adores watching them and pointing out what kind they are.

I look forward to sharing more as we progress into the studies…

In the meantime, guess what we were up to on our first weekend of Spring??? We got snowed in! And we ran out of toilet paper, milk and eggs too! We got a little stir crazy…

Just check out the view from our front window:

Here’s one of those male cardinals – doesn’t he look striking in the snow?

And here’s Ethan and Chris’ kool-aid Snowman creation!

Good times…

I recently decided that the idea of spinning my own yarn was just too tempting to ignore. I swoon over yummy handspun yarn at the knit shop; I have dreams of sitting on my window bench, deep in relaxation, spinning my own yarn.

Handwork is an important part of the Waldorf method of homeschooling, and includes natural clay modeling, beeswax crayons, wet-on-wet watercolor, wood work, knitting and finger knitting, embroidery, and of course – cleaning wool and spinning yarn. So armed with an EXTRA excuse to learn this ancient skill, I embarked on a woolly adventure…

My first step is to experiment with the simplest, most timeless design – a drop spindle. From what I have read, this is not only a great beginner’s tool that is super affordable and versatile, it can also be used as you advance and is great practice for if you do decide to purchase a more costly spinning wheel.

First, here’s a book I would recommend: Respect the Spindle!

Now, you can purchase wool roving ready to spin or you can go a step or two back and buy some wool that you need to clean, card and dye yourself. I’ll be doing this soon too, but for now let’s just assume you have your wool ready.

Making your own spindle is super easy and cheap (I added the parts I needed to a purchase of wooden eggs from Casey’s Wood – which cost me $1.55! I’ve included links to these parts in the instructions but you can also find them at your local craft store, most likely). Purchase a wooden toy wheel ($.60) and a dowel ($.80) to fit. Stick the dowel into the wheel with about an inch or so sticking out the other side (this is called the low “whorl”). Then cut the dowel on the other side down to about a foot long (hint – you can use the rest for another spindle or you can even make your own knitting needles with it!)

Next, drill a tiny hole into the end of the short side of the dowel, straight into the shaft to guide a 1/4″ cup hook ($.15) to the end of the short side to act as a catch for your yarn. Sharpen the the longer end of the dowel to a dull point so it can spin easily on a surface if you want to do it that way.

You will need about 18″ of “leader” yarn to get started (which can be a piece of your store bought yarn or hand spin a little to get you started), which you tie to the shaft right above the wheel (or as we’ll now call it, the “whorl”.) Then take that yarn around the whorl and loop it around the lower whorl (the small end of the dowel sticking out the other side) to act as a stabilizer. Then bring it back down around the whorl and draw it through your hook.

Now you’re ready to spin!

I found the following video the most helpful to me for this part, so I’ll leave it to her to show you. There are other YouTube videos by this gal and they are great as well!

Happy Spinning!

P.S. Tip: If you don’t want to make your own, there are some really beautiful handmade top whorl drop spindles on Etsy!

She’s been at this all week– it’s so funny to turn around and see her walk across the room. Surreal is maybe a more accurate word!

And no, she is not wearing a bra. I am making the top for a dress for her cousin and I was using her as a model to make sure it fit when she headed off towards Chris who was feeding our worm bin, lol.

Enjoy!

Wait just a minute – THIS is the first day of Spring?

It pains me to say it, because the saying has been told to me so many times in the last month that I’m getting downright sick of it, but it appears to be accurate: “If you don’t like the weather in Arkansas, just wait ten minutes — It’ll change!”

Yesterday I was in a strapless tank toasting up my shoulders in the front yard. Today I am bundled in a wool blanket with a raw milk steamer on my couch watching movies while it snows outside! As I type there appears to be 2-3 inches already…

Life has never been what I have expected, not in the least what I expected of motherhood. My ideas and values have shifted so drastically from when I first entered motherhood until now that I sometimes wonder who I even was back then. My thoughts on what I could control, how much I could accomplish, and how successful I would be have not only changed, they’ve been thrown out completely! While I struggle daily with my own limitations, something nothing but the grueling and relentless work of motherhood would have been able to dredge out of me, I feel at once that I am journeying towards an acceptance of my inner self – as well as my outer.

As a busy mom, stealing a few moments in the mirror is rare. I put a little make up on about once per week and try to do about ten minutes of hair removal a week too, but that’s about it. The rest is quick showers and brief Sun Salutations, and small prayers that simply eating nourishing foods will keep me healthy while I put my appearance in God’s hands!

It’s occurred to me lately that I am, as they say, my own worst critic. I caught my self talk this week and it surprised me at how negative I am. Deep down, I feel on many levels that I sacrificed my youth for my children. I lost my pre-baby body at 20 years old, and ever since I wonder how I got to be so OLD. I’ve pulled so many late nights working and 4 hour sleeping shifts interrupted by nursing in the last 5 years that I can feel the effects of my poor self care on my entire system. To say I know fatigue would be an understatement – and not just from poor sleeping but from the daily life lived with young children. Yes, they want something ALL. THE. TIME. Yes, it’s takes every fiber of my being sometimes to truly listen to the “jibber jabber”, or to hold my heart in peace when every bit of me is frustrated at the irrational and immature reasoning of a 4 year old. To keep the daily meditations close at hand, ones that remind me of how beautiful my children are, how fortunate I am to be their mother. I also have to remind myself about my own boundaries with the kids – to realize that I can lovingly distance myself when I have reached my limits- that to martyr myself for their every whim is not going to do any one any good – not to mention my sanity.

Every mom wants to be a good mom. We all have different visions of what this archetype looks like, but who ever She is, we strive to be her and often chastise ourselves when we fall short. It takes concerted effort and mindfulness for me to let that vision be a positive self-image – to see it as a mirror of my own self, and to accept that Good along with my Bad (all those hits and misses are a balance). When I fail, ( and believe me, I DO. Just about every tired, cranky morning when I raise my voice or get impatient or sulk or cry or blame or go a wee bit loco!), I am learning that I need to step back and accept what is.

I don’t always have a lot of energy, or creativity, or patience, but God knows what I need and He knows what the kids and Chris need. He knows what kinds of models, experiences, and knowledge we still lack. It’s comforting to me to realize that amidst my own failures, God can work the greatest miracles. And as far as that negative self-talk, well, I need to work on that. My body may be ridden with premature stretch marks, gray hair, wrinkles, and a small but ever increasing double chin, but it has never failed me. It has been strong; has carried, birthed, and nursed two very healthy babies. Maybe in those ways, I have sacrificed my youth for the kids, but whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is only a matter of changing my perspective I mean, really, is there a more noble thing to sacrifice youth and beauty for??? And anyway, some parts of me have grown way more beautiful BECAUSE of my children.

The snowflakes outside continue to fall on my Spring solstice, and my rosy cheeked, robust daughter sleeps on the window bench in total peace. She is officially walking this week, by the way, which is quite a treat. I can tell she is going to be such a vibrant, strong woman.

Well, here’s to acceptance, beauty, and balance. To motherhood, in all it’s unexpected exposures…

Using all natural fibers is an important part of the Waldorf inspired playroom, and one of the key elements of the Waldorf play materials is the silks. The main brand that puts these out will cost you roughly $10-13 dollars for a colored square silk, and it goes up from there for skirts, robes, banners and flags, etc. Expect to see prices of nearly 100 dollars on the larger play canopies!

In my opinion, there are far more important things to spend money on when it comes to your home school program. Books, for example. Oh, lovely books! There are too many to recount – but I would start with anything from Elsa Beskow or Gerda Muller or Sibylle von Olfers, to name a few. Sweet stories and imagery to capture the imagination – to me, that’s worth every penny!

For many other things, you can learn to make yourself. Knitting playthings, wooden blocks, beeswax candles, etc: all of these one can learn to make to create a unique, handmade, inspiring setting for the young child’s mind to become unleashed. Not to mention making your own Play Silks!

It’s very affordable and very easy. Simply order some undyed silk scarves (prices range from .99 to $5), buy a big jug of distilled vinegar and a whole lotta Kool-Aid. Yes, kool-aid. Hey, there’s a reason we call is Waldorf- INSPIRED.

We spent an hour in the front yard today making our beautiful new play silks. I did two sets of rainbow colors, one in a 6″x24″ and one in a small square 21.5″. Then we did some tie-died mix-n-matches with a few larger squares. Lastly, 2 long playsilks were dyed in colors of either “warm” hues or “cool” hues. These look so awesome and I can’t believe how easy it was (totally a kid-friendly project). This fantastic assortment of playsilks would have costs hundreds of dollars from the-you-know-who company (which are oddly enough made in China- not a superior company it seems to me), but the whole sha-bang ran me a total bill of about $50. Yay for saving money! Big fan.

I would suggest, however, taking the “wear gloves” part seriously, lest people begin to wonder if you are an axe-murderer by night

Here’s a tutorial with exact vinegar/hot water/kool-aid ratios. Enjoy!!!

First – Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Second – I’ve stolen a few minutes break in my day to share some photos with you:

Let’s go through the front door:

You may notice the rad (IMHO) antique forest green couches Chris found for me on Craigslist (for next to no $$$!). Don’t ya just wanna curl up? I love that our living room has no TV, too – its a great area to just hang, play board games, knit, read, whatever. I really love it here. (Good job, babe!):

Babies love it here too:

Ethan spends the bulk of his time in one of three places:
1. the “school room” area of our main room (the dining and living room):

2. his avocado colored, “enchanted forest” themed room, where Verity often joins him:

3. or his kitchen, inside my kitchen:

If you don’t find me in that cozy living room, you might find me in the office/media room/ guest room. Which is almost unpacked – or can’t you tell? HA! At least the mustard yellow paint is drying…

Here (the office), I dream of one day watching copius amounts of Gilmore Girls. For now it acts as a sauna for brooding baby chicks and sprouting seeds:

In current news, today is St. Patrick’s Day, and we are celebrating! We had green eggs for breakfast:

Made green raisin cinnamon bread, properly adorned with butter and raw honey:

Wore green, of course – but took it a step further by making “Hulk” neck vein impersonations, because he is also green…

We also sprouted clover, which was a gift in Ethan’s hidden “pot of gold”. And read stories about St. Patrick. And listened to Celtic music all day. And watched “Riverdance”. And we are going to go see the Irish dancers at the library this evening. And returning home to a dinner of corned beef brisket, cabbage, and potatoes. (When the kids go to bed, we are gladly sipping some whiskey sours.)

What else have we been up to? As if that’s not enough?

Well, we have been spending time in the backyard finally! We’ve hung some linens, marked off the coop/run area and dug out two vegetable beds. We scoped out the prime fort location near a butterfly bush and began a fairy home nearby. This isn’t the best picture, but it is fairly big and brown and daunting…

AND LASTLY, I discovered to my amusement that I really enjoy needle felting. Not the bloody fingers part so much but the wool figurines made in way less time than knitting part. This new craft has helped me quickly fill up our nature table as we prepare for Spring.

Here you can see some of it – the felted Mother Earth in the back there with a little wooden “St. Patrick”, and their woodland friends – a white rabbit, green turtle, and large whimsical mushroom – all needle felted. In the tree hangs a butterfly and an angel. Spring “flower children” are coming to join Mother Earth SOON – this weekend marks the Spring Solstice! Awake, flowers, awake!

With St. Patrick’s Day approaching (March 17th!), and our family finally feeling like things in the home are falling into place, we are eager to celebrate. We missed a few festivals due to our move (Lent festivities, a real bummer since I’m of Cajun decent and Mardi Gras would have been fun here at the house!) so with our new little wooden table we are starting to build a Waldorf nature table in the living room. We’re sprouting a bed of clover and chia seeds this week, which will be decorated with blown and painted eggs shells and other Springtime crafts to come over the next few weeks.

There are two new chicks sleeping quietly in the brooder in the craft room right now. They are both Sex-Links, one Gold and one Black. I’ve named them “Daffodil” and “Velvet”. Two more are coming, hopefully arriving on Tuesday – a Rhode Island Red and an Americauna. I can’t wait!

This week’s milestones include: Verity took 5 steps in a row on her own! Also, we opened accounts at the local credit union and we all got library cards. The library here is actually quite impressive!

It was at the library that I picked up a copy of “Shamrocks, Harps, and Shillelaghs; The Story of the St. Patrick’s Day Symbols”, and a variety of Celtic/Irish kids CD’s.

St. Patrick was an interesting guy. He wasn’t actually Irish – he was British- and was captured and taken slave in Ireland as a young man. After 6 years there, he ran away, but later after he became a priest, he believed he was being told by God to return to the land of his former master’s to bring them the story of Jesus/ Christianity. He was brave and driven, and his life spent among the Celts was considered a success by the Church. Many village chieftains and druids (celtic pagan priests) were baptized and he left monks and church plans in ever village he left. It is said that his influence contributed to Ireland’s ability to keep alive the arts and education during the “Dark Ages” in Europe.

Aside: I like the name Patrick (I have both a paternal uncle AND a maternal uncle named Patrick – and I lived on Kilpatrick Street in Portland for the last year- a variation the St. Patrick name).

There are two parts to the story that impressed me and that I will be able to add as spiritual “findings” as we celebrate the holiday this Wednesday:

First is that St. Patrick was effective in part because he was relevant and engaged the current culture of that time and place. From his time in captivity, “he knew the manners, the customs, and language of the people who lived there. What was more, he had a deep urge to be the savior of a people who had once enslaved him.” Furthermore, he honored the Celtic traditions: “Patrick never tried to stamp out old rites and customs. Instead, he found a way to combine them with Christian customs.”

In addition, Patrick divided the saints into three categories: 1. “A Glory on the Mountaintop”, 2. “A Gleam on the Hillside”, or 3. “A Faint Light in a Valley”.

Those who consider themselves followers of Christ might do well to ask ourselves which one he might have called us.

More St. Patrick’s Day facts and fun to come…