The Inconvenient Blessings

Is that too harsh of a description of children? Or perhaps too soft? lol

Verity letting me know that she has the hiccups, so PUT DOWN THE DARN CAMERA!

Here is a snapshot of a very common day:

This morning I awoke to my son telling me he went into the trail mix and dumped the whole bag out in his room. I nursed, changed, and dressed Verity, then Ethan sang to her while I got dressed (this is our morning routine). I put her in her moby wrap so I could manage making breakfast for us. I worked a few hours while Ethan ran a circus in my room, pulling off my bedding, dropping rice cake crumbs everywhere, and finding my stash of cough drops so he could incessantly ask me if he could have one while giving his best phony coughing.

At long last, we ventured out to get out of the house, something I TRY to do the middle of each day, be it a homeschooling “field trip”, or storytime at the library, or (since we are on “summer break” from homeschooling while Verity is little) – a simple park adventure.

A coffeehouse called Posies opened around the corner 2 weeks ago that I’ve been excited to try, so we headed there first for some iced tea on this very sunny day. Upon arrival, Ethan’s eyes grew wild and hopeful as he points to a chocolate muffin in the pastry case. Being in good spirits, I make my first mistake. I tell him he can have the muffin if he firsts eats a sandwich: Almond butter, organic jelly, and whole wheat bread- $3! This place is pretty rad! OH- and I should add that they boast a small kids playroom with GLASS WINDOW for viewing your rugrat darling while in the comfort of the semi-quiet, cutesy seating area. Talk about MAMA-FRIENDLY!

What follows is a tale of “I don’t LIKE this!” and “I don’t want to eat the CRUST – EW!” and so on- the rantings of a spoiled 4 year old whose random bouts of pickiness with food hits at the most inopportune times! I repeated 100 times that he needs to finish the darn sandwich, my blood pressure is rising while Verity is not fully sleeping, kinda half crying but not wanting to nurse and Ethan is smearing almond butter across his face and subsequently his forearm to “clean” his face.

Things escalate to me having to take the muffin to go (because I made the mistake of paying for it in the beginning and he is clearly NOT finishing this sandwich!) and Ethan standing on his chair SCREAMING and CRYING that he wants the muffin and “PLEASE DON’T LET DADA EAT MY MUFFIN, THOUGH!!!!” I remain calm on the outside (you know how it is) but take him to the bathroom for some stern reprimanding while I have to literally bite my knuckle to keep from screaming myself. AHHHH! The stress of children. I tell Ethan that I cannot handle him today and we are going home, not to the park as planned. And that we are not leaving this bathroom until he stops crying. (Smooth move, emotion-coaching mom. Note the sarcasm.)

Ethan hangs his head low while we leave the restaurant. He loads himself heavily onto his bike to go home. A woman compliments his “cool bike” and I ask him to say “thank you” but he won’t. I ask him why and he says, “I can’t say thank you right now, I am just TOO sad.”

Okay, my heart is softening at this point. Yes, a minute ago he was screaming at the top of his lungs about a muffin. But now he is my little boy who not only doesn’t get the muffin, he doesn’t get the park either. Okay, okay. I can do this.

At the light, we could turn left to go home, or right to the park. I tell him to go right. When we are literally IN THE PARK, he stops and asks what we are doing there, “I thought we were only going home?!” We talk it out. We talk about him behaving poorly in the restuarant and not always getting what he wants. We talk about me getting too stressed about it in the bathroom and how both of us made mistakes but we can work on it and we can still love each other. He holds my hand and tells me he loves me so much. I feel so proud of him.

We spend two hours at the park, me sitting with Verity under the shade of a big tree. She loves the sounds and sights and just stars off quietly into the blurry space around her. Ethan strips down to his shorts and runs around in the water works, chats up other moms until they have to ignore him- as usual, and rides his bike around the trail in front of me. At some point I cave with the muffin too- we split it under the tree – I weigh the experience of enjoying the muffin with him for the poor nutrition and inconsistent parenting. Oh well. Ya do the best ya can, right?

Back at home, I am typing while he is taking a shower with his toys, he has been in there 45 minutes with some sort of imaginary story and lots and lots of singing going on. I love him. He is so unique, he tries so hard, and we expect so much of him. But he is a really, really awesome kid.

And how lucky am I? I’ve now got another one growing up into a great kid too. As I write, Her Half-pint Highness is sound asleep in her wrap with her mouth hanging open, and I can only imagine all of the mistakes she and I will make with each other and all of the conversations about behaviors and forgiveness we will have.

Okay, I guess I’ll wrap this up since its approaching 1000 words, sheesh.

Verity’s first “cooing” is happening this week.