Or should I say… “More Pictures” ???

Because, sorry, but that’s all I have time for! Verity is 4 weeks old today, just shy of a month! I know I say Holy Cow a lot around here but, seriously — HOLY COW!

Slideshow — and even a silent film below!!! (thrilling, I know!)
(IF you are joining us from Facebook “notes”, you’ll have to come to www.mamaneedjava.com to view the following fun stuff) Oh, and sorry if some of these are not rotated right- (photobucket.com glitches drive me nuts.)

Wow.

I don’t know where to begin – Verity and I are doing GREAT and I feel like I didn’t even just have a baby. I’m still stoaked at how much easier this experience has been!

So…

here’s some lovely pics for you from last night…

In a matter of minutes, babies go from…

OH-SO-CUTE (and I just have to point out — this shot looks like baby photos of me! Just peak at the gravatar by the post’s meta info- that’s me about age 2 with some kind of make up on- maybe halloween? )

to…

kinda upset, heh? –>

to…
WOAH! That’s just nasty… (zoom in on the mouth, folks!)

Ethan, (despite all his messes he gets in trouble for All.Day.Long.), is still SUCH a great helper. He says all the time how much he loves Verity, how cute she is, how pretty her outfit is, etc. He calls her “our baby” and so far hasn’t shown any signs that he feels she has “taken his spot”. He’s very respectful of her presence and the fact that mama can’t be with him as much as she used to. I’m so grateful he is old enough to understand and sweet enough to be who he is!!!

That’s all for now! Got work and chores and kids and so much LIFE to live right now… be back when things slow down a bit…

Two quotes from a newsletter I subscribe to really made an impression on me this afternoon so I wanted to share:

I have committed myself to joy. I have come to realize that those who make space for joy, those who prefer nothing to joy, those who desire the utter reality, will most assuredly have it. We must not be afraid to announce it to refugees, slum dwellers, saddened prisoners, angry prophets. Now and then we must even announce it to ourselves. In this prison of now, in this cynical and sophisticated age, someone must believe in joy.
- Richard Rohr, OFM

(bold added by me)

May God bless us with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that we may reach out our hands to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.
- Source: Four-fold Franciscan Blessing

(subscribe yourself!)

kids say…

the last two things my almost-4-yr old said were as follows (which I just had to post):

“Please tell me who just left you a message on your phone- OR I’m going to spank your butt -I’m just kidding about that though because I’m not a dada and you aren’t a kid. So that’s crazy.”

“I just love brown rice cakes because they are so salty SO salty SO SALTY!!!” (kinda like the “bacon, bacon, bacon!” dog — and they are salt-free rice cakes so who knows what he’s even talking about!)

He has also been talking a lot about his upcoming birthday (2 months away). He has narrowed it down to a particular Thomas toy he wants as well as one other, slightly more interesting thing. We were walking the other day and passed a boat parked in someone’s driveway. He comments about how the boat got there when there is no pond nearby (cute!). Eventually he asks about it the way all birthday gift questions go: “Oh. Well… I wish that I could buy a boat for my birthday!” I tell him we don’t have enough money to buy a boat. He tells me we could use the money he gets in the mail in his birthday cards to buy him a boat (clever fella!!!). I tell him its not enough money. He is bummed. Then I get an idea! I suggest we go on a lunch cruise on the Portland Spirit to let him RIDE a boat for his birthday, using the money he gets in the mail. He likey this idea!

So, yeah, we are excited about taking him out on the Williamette River in July for his first boating experience. Neat, heh?

Is that too harsh of a description of children? Or perhaps too soft? lol

Verity letting me know that she has the hiccups, so PUT DOWN THE DARN CAMERA!

Here is a snapshot of a very common day:

This morning I awoke to my son telling me he went into the trail mix and dumped the whole bag out in his room. I nursed, changed, and dressed Verity, then Ethan sang to her while I got dressed (this is our morning routine). I put her in her moby wrap so I could manage making breakfast for us. I worked a few hours while Ethan ran a circus in my room, pulling off my bedding, dropping rice cake crumbs everywhere, and finding my stash of cough drops so he could incessantly ask me if he could have one while giving his best phony coughing.

At long last, we ventured out to get out of the house, something I TRY to do the middle of each day, be it a homeschooling “field trip”, or storytime at the library, or (since we are on “summer break” from homeschooling while Verity is little) – a simple park adventure.

A coffeehouse called Posies opened around the corner 2 weeks ago that I’ve been excited to try, so we headed there first for some iced tea on this very sunny day. Upon arrival, Ethan’s eyes grew wild and hopeful as he points to a chocolate muffin in the pastry case. Being in good spirits, I make my first mistake. I tell him he can have the muffin if he firsts eats a sandwich: Almond butter, organic jelly, and whole wheat bread- $3! This place is pretty rad! OH- and I should add that they boast a small kids playroom with GLASS WINDOW for viewing your rugrat darling while in the comfort of the semi-quiet, cutesy seating area. Talk about MAMA-FRIENDLY!

What follows is a tale of “I don’t LIKE this!” and “I don’t want to eat the CRUST – EW!” and so on- the rantings of a spoiled 4 year old whose random bouts of pickiness with food hits at the most inopportune times! I repeated 100 times that he needs to finish the darn sandwich, my blood pressure is rising while Verity is not fully sleeping, kinda half crying but not wanting to nurse and Ethan is smearing almond butter across his face and subsequently his forearm to “clean” his face.

Things escalate to me having to take the muffin to go (because I made the mistake of paying for it in the beginning and he is clearly NOT finishing this sandwich!) and Ethan standing on his chair SCREAMING and CRYING that he wants the muffin and “PLEASE DON’T LET DADA EAT MY MUFFIN, THOUGH!!!!” I remain calm on the outside (you know how it is) but take him to the bathroom for some stern reprimanding while I have to literally bite my knuckle to keep from screaming myself. AHHHH! The stress of children. I tell Ethan that I cannot handle him today and we are going home, not to the park as planned. And that we are not leaving this bathroom until he stops crying. (Smooth move, emotion-coaching mom. Note the sarcasm.)

Ethan hangs his head low while we leave the restaurant. He loads himself heavily onto his bike to go home. A woman compliments his “cool bike” and I ask him to say “thank you” but he won’t. I ask him why and he says, “I can’t say thank you right now, I am just TOO sad.”

Okay, my heart is softening at this point. Yes, a minute ago he was screaming at the top of his lungs about a muffin. But now he is my little boy who not only doesn’t get the muffin, he doesn’t get the park either. Okay, okay. I can do this.

At the light, we could turn left to go home, or right to the park. I tell him to go right. When we are literally IN THE PARK, he stops and asks what we are doing there, “I thought we were only going home?!” We talk it out. We talk about him behaving poorly in the restuarant and not always getting what he wants. We talk about me getting too stressed about it in the bathroom and how both of us made mistakes but we can work on it and we can still love each other. He holds my hand and tells me he loves me so much. I feel so proud of him.

We spend two hours at the park, me sitting with Verity under the shade of a big tree. She loves the sounds and sights and just stars off quietly into the blurry space around her. Ethan strips down to his shorts and runs around in the water works, chats up other moms until they have to ignore him- as usual, and rides his bike around the trail in front of me. At some point I cave with the muffin too- we split it under the tree – I weigh the experience of enjoying the muffin with him for the poor nutrition and inconsistent parenting. Oh well. Ya do the best ya can, right?

Back at home, I am typing while he is taking a shower with his toys, he has been in there 45 minutes with some sort of imaginary story and lots and lots of singing going on. I love him. He is so unique, he tries so hard, and we expect so much of him. But he is a really, really awesome kid.

And how lucky am I? I’ve now got another one growing up into a great kid too. As I write, Her Half-pint Highness is sound asleep in her wrap with her mouth hanging open, and I can only imagine all of the mistakes she and I will make with each other and all of the conversations about behaviors and forgiveness we will have.

Okay, I guess I’ll wrap this up since its approaching 1000 words, sheesh.

Verity’s first “cooing” is happening this week.

Chris and I are loving this song, esp after Seth’s version at church today. Yeah, the live version is a tearjerker.

Sometimes I need to be reminded that when I am impatient, bitter, and ready to give up because none of this makes sense, it isn’t fair, and I’m just plain DONE – Jesus simply tells me He’ll be with me through it all.

***Quick aside- I’m looking forward to being able to see this movie, it looks adorable! (Maybe Chris and I can sneak Verity into a matinee in a few weeks!)***

Today’s “sermon” (do we call it that at Evergreen?) was on the woman at the well (from John) and loosely related to being surprised by God. I thought most about Verity – her presence in my life, the knowledge of her existence last August- it was such a surprise in the most unlikely time.

God and I’s relationship as been, and still is, somewhat “through the wringer” this last year or so. There was even times when I really doubted my ability to continue believing in God after how heartbroken I have felt, and my prayer has simply been for the help to get “there”. (I also loved the lyric in one song in the worship time today that said “Thank you for breaking my heart — I now have a strong heart” or something along those lines. Oh, I about lost it. Okay, I did lose it.)

Yep, the Father has an annoying (LOVING) habit of reaching out and pulling me out of my comfort zone, and its usually not in small, unnoticeable ways (like, well, a broken marriage, an addicted/recovering husband, a mirror to show me my own mistakes, and a BABY, to name a few).

And true to form, this week was no different. Most of you know that I live in a community house, a home shared with another family of 3-soon-to-be-4. Much of what sparked our desire to co-house stemmed from, well, you know, you can just read all about it here in case you missed it.

Well, we’ve been here two months and until yesterday I had not met a single neighbor. I was pretty preoccupied with moving and then the pregnancy and then the new baby… I missed a few opportunities, even when Chris walked up to neighbors and introduced himself, (even when ETHAN did!), I still found myself too shy and awkward. I finally introduced myself to the owners of our local coffee shop, though. Baby steps?

Yesterday we passed the same house several times while walking back and forth to the buslines for a few outings. We waved and said hey at the same-sex couple working on their lawn (not uncommon to these parts, they are trying to convert most of their lawn to edibles – like Food Not Lawns). Finally, they totally broke the barrier and invited Ethan over to meet their new puppy. Within minutes we were ushered into their yard to meet the other dog, then into their backyard to see their massage studio (with hopes to turn it into a wellness center), and then into their home to see their DIY rain water toilet flushing system. It was so awesome to be welcomed into their lives and chat with them, and then, low and behold, we were invited to a vegan potluck COMMUNITY DINNER with other area families, hosted at their place a few doors down from us, THIS Tuesday. I could have peed my pants. This was like the “in” we had been waiting/praying for and it seemed to just fall from the sky. This is too easy! I thought.

But I know true, intentional community is probably anything but easy! For me to truly listen to them, hear their stories, invest in their lives, share my story, and continue to break bread with them on a regular basis will be more of a challenge than the initial meet-n-greet.

But it’s a start, and I’m so thankful for God’s surprises.

I love getting out and about again. Especially in weather that is a bottled form of HEAVEN.

Verity and I waiting for the bus. She was like this (PASSED OUT!) the whole day, all toasty in her wrap.

The last day or two I’ve been trying to get out of the house more. I’m finally able to leave my roll of toilet paper at home because I don’t have the need to blow my nose every 5 seconds, and I’m telling you- I seriously feel really, really good. I could take on the world!

Okay, anyway.

Today’s highlight was brunch with the fam and a trip down to the Art Hop on Alberta, just Verity and I, to hang with Misty. I love Alberta soooo much. It has a special place in my heart. Here are some pics of the street fair- which can best be described as Etsy, but on the street! Such talent around here, I swear! (Pay special attention to the picture of the stand with the sign “Advice – FREE”… only on Alberta, baby!

Here’s some more pics:

I supported a local artist by purchasing the $5 bag (with awesome pink Dia de los Muertos fabric) to hold my essentials onto my “diaper bag” (backpack from Rerun, $8!) so everything doesn’t always fall to the bottom. I was going to sew on a pocket of some sort but this works SO much better. Score.

I also treated myself on a very hot (for Portland) day to a handmade ice cream cookie from Portland’s own Ruby Jewel company. It is a – get this – Cinnamon Chocolate Chip cookie with Espresso Ice Cream. Let’s just say I devoured it faster than you can say “delicious”. The instructions read, wittily, “For maximum enjoyment, let soften for approximately 3 mins and 08 secs at 72 F (22.2 C) before eating.” The drink is a nifty concoction of water infused with herbs- namely, cinnamon, cardamom, and cloves. Um – woah. YUM!? This snack easily fits somewhere at the top of my $5 and under food list.

There were also a couple of diaper changes (CLOTH- which I will be blogging about later!) in the grass that were loads (pun intended) of fun

And last but not least, I splurged (.50 a piece!) on a few vintagey-cool buttons from Bolt for some Verity clothes/bootie projects in the works. Can anyone say ADORABLE?!

Conclusion: a beautiful day well spent with a great friend and lovely daughter. SOOO much better than sitting in the living room!

And so are backyards.

Let’s see, where to start…

I was gone, but now I’m back. Sort of.

The battery-whats-it-thingama-jig on my laptop shouted its final “Hoorah” Tuesday night, so I’ve been sort of MIA for a few days (until last night, when I received a loaner laptop from a wonderful company I work for — God bless ‘em!). It’s been a few long, soul searching days…

Still in the funk of it all, kinda, well it’s hard to explain. Isolated would be one word. But only one. Misunderstood, insecure, questioning, worried… there are more words.

Oh, life.

Anyway, sorry so cryptic, just not really ready to articulate the happenings of my heart tonight.

Beautiful weather around Portland (ah hah: clever topic switch to weather – nice!) has blessed us with a weekend to plant. We’ve got roughly 30 or so tomato starts, 5 cabbage, 2 broccoli raab, onions and scallions to get in the veg bed ASAP. We hope to plant a few other things this weekend if I can bring some of our tomato starts to the neighborhood plant swap tomorrow and exchange our abundance of tomatoes for some more variety… peas, corn, pumpkins, squash would be nice!

The veg bed was dug out by a 7 month preggo (no, not I said the fly! I was slightly GINORMOUS at the time so Lacey- bless her hard workin heart- got the project underway) and now we are pooling our energy and muscles together to get new, slightly healthier but much more expensive topsoil and compost BACK into the “pit” before it rains and washes our 2 yards of delivered DIRT down the driveway.

The 12′ x 12′ “Pit”, approx. 3′ deep (reminds me – any body watching “Parks and Recreation? Hilarious.)

Old Dirt, complete with weeds, seeds, debri, and weed gaurd.

New Dirt, complete with wet clay and rocks that are heavy as he**.

Ethan collects worms and slugs for the chickens…such a BOY!

Verity naps from the shade of her sun hat… such a GIRL!

So, again, I am very thankful for the weekend. Not that I will be doing a bunch of shoveling, however. Nope. I tried, I really did, and I sort of made some progress on the early stages of the venture. Just before my fractured/whatever rib cage SCREAMED AT ME and I realized my limits. I suppose I did have a baby 2 weeks ago, maybe I shouldn’t push a wheel barrow that weighs more than I do back and forth across the yard? Probably a good call. Anyhoo; no, the guys will handle this one and us gals will do the gentle planting stuff. Much better plan!

Speaking of babies – there are some pics below. (I couldn’t decide which one so they look kinda the same. If you print them out and make a little booklet and flip through it really fast, maybe you can make a little old fashioned home movie!) She’s sporting a crocheted hat, a handy talent of Lacey’s younger sister.

She is sleeping great, nursing great, just, all, well, GREAT! And since I’m not coughing up hairballs all night, I am also feeling- physically anyway – bran (?) spankin’ new! It’s amazing how quickly the body recovers the second time around.

Okay well, I’ll be back to write more when there is more to write about. Chow for now.

Today is Verity’s 2 week birthday. Her check up yesterday was great- she’s “perfect”. She’s gained her birth weight back plus over a half a pound more (she is 8 lb 10 oz).

Here are some pictures!

Lullaby, and goodnight…

Verity stylin’ one of my very first knitting projects I did last January in Florida, her pixie hat.

Ethan sings “You are My Sunshine” with me and Verity before bed

I heart Babylegs!!! (esp. used polka dot green ones from a consignment shop!)

She’s just learning to communicate, that’s all.

Loverly!

Holy cow. I have two kids. They are so cute.

Okay, okay, I don’t think I had the swine flu, lol. But it was certainly one of the worst flu’s I’ve ever had. Luckily, my cough is becoming less frequent and more productive, and my energy is definitely up a bit. We’ve been sleeping better since sidelying nursing too, which is great.

However, I fractured a rib. I know. Seriously? Yep:

“You might be dealing with a simple fractured rib if any of the following symptoms are present: Sharp pain at a particular point on the chest that’s touched, sharp pain when coughing or breathing, bruising or deformity of the chest.”

Ding, ding, ding! Note to self: do not hunch over while nursing and then forcefully cough, thereby popping/fracturing/something painful to your rib cage. I now can’t take a deep breath, or esp cough, without pain, and usually have to bend forward to cough in order to take the pressure off my rib. When I stretch out my arms and straighten my back, I feel this weird “floating” bone feeling as my rib kinda protrudes at the spot of pain.

Anyhoo. I’m going the route of “let it heal itself” and hoping that the end of my coughing will allow it to heal. Of course, I also read this “Encourage the injured person to cough frequently. It’s going to hurt, but it will prevent secretions from pooling in the lung, which could cause pneumonia.” in an article about treating minor rib fractures and thought, pneumonia would be just FANTASTIC right now, with more sarcasm than I’ve ever mustered up in my life. Ever.

Otherwise, oh my, I love this little baby! She is so soft and warm and cuddly and – just, oh my. It’s so weird how mom’s just LOVE their kids. Pimply, peeling, cross-eyed goopy newborns through awkward, brace-face, acne covered teens. They are just angelic to the one who popped em out

Okay, well I don’t have vast amounts of time so I’m going to wrap this up!

Consider it wrapped.