In Due Time

For awhile, having a little baby countdown widget on my sidebar was exciting. I remember watching it breach the 100 days, then the 10 days not long ago. Woo hoo, I thought. Getting closer! And indeed, I was.

But now the very sight of it, mocking me with its reading of “40 weeks! It’s go time!” is just downright uncalled for. I say, “Dude – shut your pie hole! I KNOW this!” back at it. (In my head; out loud would be a little bit awkward.)

After Ethan went “late”, I kinda thought- okay, I’ve paid my dues. I’ve experienced the mind-boggling alternate reality of the Overdue, where lack of sleep, frustrated attempts to “get things goin’”, boredom, and eventually hormonal hysteria, finally leave you actually thinking, OMG. I WILL BE PREGNANT FOR EVER!

It is almost 8pm, pacific time. Unless I go into labor NOW and it lasts less than 4 hours (har har), I will again miss that coveted experience of having the pregnancy shortened and being surprised by a baby earlier than predicted. It’s funny (though not so much when you are living it right NOW) how things like this can take over every aspect of your life in the final weeks of pregnancy (particularly post-term pregnancy). You already know what people keep telling you – that babies come when they are ready, that due dates aren’t set in stone, bla bla bla, but then this nagging voice in your head chimes in about all the things that could be keeping you from your labor of love and you just want to DO SOMETHING about it, for peet’s sake.

Well, I’ve tried everything this week, everything. My legs are sore I’ve walked so much. I have tried every herbal induction tincture under the sun — even did the castor oil thing. Not much luck, obviously. I am, however, super tired. I slept a whopping two full hours last night, midnight to 2am, and took a one hour nap this afternoon. Perhaps that is the hardest part about being this pregnant – the downright physical exhaustion.

Oh well. This will all be a distant memory soon enough. I will be telling other full term moms to “hang in there” and forgetting all about this most undesirable phase of my own pregnancies. Ay mi.

Tomorrow is my due date. Tonight, the only labor prep I’ll do is drink my tea, take my evening primrose oil, knit and eat a bag of cheetos.

(The healthy kind. I haven’t gotten THAT hysterical )