Pregnant with thoughts

Ah, now THIS is familiar. Tossing and turning at night; gotta pee, gotta eat, gotta move. Only 4am? I went to bed just FOUR HOURS AGO?! Okay, I’ll lay here another few hours. Only 4:30? 5:00? 5:30? Must.Get.Up.

I’ve answered my email, flipped through a birthing book, too tired and foggy to work this early, but its dark outside still (almost 7, currently) and no one is up yet – except Paz, who is trying to suckle on the hip of my pj pants. (He’s a bit of a, well, baby.)

I have a feeling that with this kind of start, the rest of this post is gonna be a tad jumbled and odd. Bare with me.

Hubby and I recently made the decision to start looking for a new place. We have very few expenses compared to a lot of people, (no cable, no home phone, no CARS, sharing the smallest minutes on our cell plan, so on) but still we live “at” our means each month with unforeseen bills due, a large debt payment that comes close to what we pay in rent each month, and now this upcoming birth and baby prep. We hold the value that financial solutions don’t always come in “work more, harder, longer” packages, yet we have been stuck with ways we could spend less, cut back, save more, so on. We also really want a simple life, not the American dream, just our dream – to be together as a healthy, peaceful, thriving family, with ample time to love and serve each other and those outside our family too. We spent about 4 years of our marriage being too busy to deal with our relationship, and discontent with every new material or achievement, with this vague restlessness like standing in front of the open fridge but not sure what to eat (which Sarah, who was the speaking elder at church last week, said she knew some one who said that we need God in those times… or am I remembering that correctly? Oh well, that’s what I got out of it!) . There has been so much change this year that we can hardly believe this is how things once were. And since there is no guarantee of tomorrow, I am grateful for today.

Moving on. Or back — to our impending move. We’ve got a relatively short amount of time to boogie on outta here, (so play that funky music, white boy.) I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that we are planning on sharing a community house with a family from church, something I am uber excited about, (so excited, mind you, that the word “uber” popped out) … (I did mention I barely slept last night, right? It makes you say crazy things, and have songs stuck in your head about a rock-n-roll singer embracing the disco movement.)

Today we hope to hear good news from a place that so far looks really appealing. Oh shoot, I’ll just say it, I WOULD FALL OVER AND HAVE MY BABY RIGHT NOW if we got this place. Well, that’s ultimately up to the baby, I suppose, so I don’t want to commit her to anything, (at least not for another 6 weeks, since I’m only 31 weeks right now.) But let’s just say that SOMETHING would come out my Ladyness if we get this place. (early, folks. really, really early.)

Oh, thank GAWD. My 3 year old best friend is up now to keep me company Adios!