40 days?

Tomorrow is by birthday, 25 on the 25th at that!
But it is also the start of lent. And I am a bit perplexed. And when I’m perplexed, I ramble, and it comes out like a big giant vomit of thoughts. So here goes:

I’ve never really gotten what lent was all about. Like, in theory, yes, I know what it is. But personally, in my heart, I haven’t gotten it. I admit this.

Last year I “picked” meat to refrain from for 40 days. This was easy because I never ate much meat anyway. (Of course, when some darling friends -ahemAaronandJoelle- came over with a dinner of pulled pork to share with us just a few days after the start of lent, I completely forgot. Not a good way to get started!)

But, seriously, I find myself again this year going, well, I guess I’ll give this another try. Maybe I’m waiting for something much too magical and mysterious to happen. Maybe I treating it too much like a diet and less like a spiritual thing. Maybe I expect to learn some amazing new lesson and I just, well, don’t.

I want to do it, though. I want to try again. I just can’t decide what to “pick”. I wanted to pick something that would be a challenge and yet something that would also be practical. The common one’s would be too easy (no tv, don’t buy anything new, don’t eat meat, etc). I don’t really have any vices I can think of that would truly be difficult to give up. I thought a few weeks ago that coffee would be a perfect one! But then I had been reading about how caffeine makes it more difficult for you and the fetus to absorb nutrients, so I haven’t had coffee in weeks and its no big deal, we just drink lots of yerba matte instead. And I need to switch to red raspberry tea soon anyway.
So you see, I need help! I have no idea what to do with lent this year. I’m moving and about to have a baby, so it can’t be giving up things that are actually GOOD for me (nutritionally or peace-of-mind things… like Lost, blogging, or knitting, lol). But I can’t think of what I do that bad for me that would really be difficult to do without.

I knew some one who shaved their head to give up their “beauty” for lent. Since I don’t wash my hair and its 99% of the time in a pony tail with a headband, its not exactly my idol.

Then I’m wondering if I’m going about this all wrong. Maybe since I don’t have any vices to “lay at the alter”, I should instead ADD something to my daily routine for the next 40 days? There are plenty of things that would be difficult for me to do each day, both with regards to my forgetfulness as well as my already spread thin late pregnancy existence. And I hesitate to make any rigid commitments for the sake of lent only – such as “pray for 30 minutes each day”- because then I second-guess my whole motive for praying (not to mention I’m treating it like a sacrifice, or worse, a discipline like cleaning my dishes). If I could pinpoint something I could do each day relationally, something that draws me closer to Jesus and incorporates service to others, I think I’d be on the right track. Maybe it is something as mundane as doing all the dishes for Hubby who usually does them for me. I don’t know. I do know I hate doing dishes. With a passion. So it would be a BIG deal for me!

I’m going to keep thinking and praying about this and hope to get some idea of what to do in the next 24 hours. If you have any ideas, please comment!