Posts from — January 2009

About to leave for my midwife appt, this one with a glucose screening test. When I return in hopefully no more than 3 hours I will have to make lunch, fold clothes, do some work, and then leave for my marital counseling, which will take 4 hours of my evening and I’ll get home just after 8pm in order to keep folding clothes and working

Tomorrow I have rented a Zipcar for the morning and afternoon in order to take Paz (kitty) to get his (woo-haa’s!) knipped and pick him up again later. In between I will do more work and fold more clothes.

Tomorrow night we will pack for 8 days in Florida and fly out Thursday morning.

No. You don’t need to re-read this to find out where the charm, wit, and POINT was. I wrote this instead of a to-do list because the laptop was open and writing on a piece of paper seemed like so much extra work.

IF I find a minute between the next few days, I’ll see about blogging, otherwise, stay tuned for updates from a more tropical locale!

Another ramble:

Jumpin’ right in, yes we are. Still lacking most of our curriculum books (darn that snail mail!), we mainly spent the week going through books about oceans and ocean animals, doing projects and integrating learning lessons into our daily life. We were able to start the day with “spiritual time” only a three days this week, and twice with yoga (ya win some, ya lose some!). Here are the main prayers/reflections I have found for us to do throughout the day (they are beautiful and you’re welcome to use them).

The biggest thing that has been helping with Lil’ E’s “rhythm” is a chore and behavior chart. Yes, he gets stars — its a bribe, BUT: I feel that this is helpful for us at this age. I can tell that he is learning not only that doing his chores and being well-behaved are things that gets star stickers on his chart, but also that this “incentive” is helping him decipher between his choices, think through what he will ultimately do, and muster the skill of self-control that is so crucial for a 3 year old boy! It has also helped me remain CALM and COOL throughout the day, as I present the choices before him (e.g. at toy store: “I have told you it is time to leave, and you need to follow me to the door. If you go back to the train table for the ‘one last train’, you will have lost your listening star for today. It is your choice. I’ll be waiting at the cart. You can follow me and keep your star, or you can go back to the train table and lose your star.”)

It feels good to have a PLAN for behavior problems that are unique to this age (where as a year or two ago a stern look or clap of my hands might have deterred a precarious situation, he now will rationalize, argue and bargain! WHOA!). So, even when he is in tears because he realized his choice cost him a star, I can calmly check out and be the mom with the screaming boy without that feeling in my chest like I am in the most embarrassing position of my life, all because I am confident in the choices I gave him, carrying out the consequences, and empathizing with his emotional response without wavering on my decision, (and I do hope it gets easier with practice, cause I’m such a noob!) We’ve finally made a pact as a couple that there will be no physical aggression (spank, hit, pinch, grab, pull, drag, etc) to tame his behavior (here’s some reasons why), and there’s been a lot less tears and raising of voices too – which feels in my heart a million times better.

Some things he gets stars for each day, (or doesn’t), include brushing his teeth in the morning and at night, getting himself dressed (both times), making his bed (as best he can), putting toys away when finished, helping with laundry, helping with dishes (drying and stacking), helping with dinner, listening, doing his lessons, so on. He gets really excited to complete a task and watch his chart fill up with stars, so that by the end of the week he can obtain some special (very affordable) prize. This week, he wanted a rolling pin that was his size so he can help me with cookies. We found an unfinished wooden one for $1.20 from an online wood craft store – he was so excited when it arrived yesterday, just in time for him to turn in his star chart for his prize.

Some things he learned this week were ocean animals; lots about sharks, sea turtles, and alligators, the different types, their life cycle, so on. We made a craft this week of water colored sea animals and created an small underwater ocean scene (I drew several, he painted – though the fish he drew himself are pretty cool too!) and a counting project with crab legs (he did all the cutting and letters himself, but needed help with numbers. I LOVE that he drew the eyes and smile upside down- his “touch” ). He had to watch “Finding Nemo” once when I had to work, but I placed lots of paper and colors before him and we interacted with the movie by having him draw the types of fish and ocean life he saw (little blue and orange circles for Nemo and Dori, lol, and one big zig zaggy line for the shark’s teeth! He’s so cute!). Along with the ocean learning unit, we’ve incorporate basic academics, if you will. His spanish vocab has been “La Playa” and “Las Conchas” and then we added “La Estrella De Mar” when he got those down. He’s picking up on phonics, recognizing the sounds of letters/words in our exercises, as well as math (he’s counting to 20 in english, 10 in spanish, and can recognize number 0-9, which we’ll continue to do until he really has it “under his belt”.) Next week we are studying Florida ocean life and the Everglades, since we will be flying to the southern Gulf Coast on Thursday. We will integrate his lessons (again, that word “integrate”, as in holistic, organic, so on) with the turtles we spot treading across my dad’s lawn, the seagulls and shells at the beach, and a trip to the nature reserve to spot some native wildlife. We are also bringing along a fresh doodle pad and new colored pencils, which we will use to document his trip to Florida and draw what he is seeing. For the plane ride, we hope things like this come in very handy, along with his etch-a-sketch, which I have brought out with us this week to occupy him during outings and has been SUCH a success! I love getting to the bookstore, handing him a doodle pad, he lays down on his tummy and draws for 5 minutes giving me time to look around that section without worrying about him getting bored and misbehaving. I kept thinking, “WHY didn’t I do this more often?!”

As always, he likes letters, spells them out where ever we go and every time I bring out his doodle pad for him to draw, he is practicing letters instead of anything creative, lol. I think he’s always had a strong “left brain” in that way – sorting, putting away, counting, letters, so on. He likes free play and loves to build, but gets frustrated with artwork when it doesn’t come out the way he wants it to in his head. I can relate to that, as I have always felt I am creative only in one sense. I can do stuff, but I follow a pattern, copy a picture, etc. The only place I have ever felt “freely creative” is perhaps in certain styles of writing (and I would say this is largely due to the year or so I spent POURING over Poemcrazy: Freeing Your Life with Words in middle school – a book I really recommend!). Otherwise, its more of a logical, methodical, perfectionist “creation” I can’t make it to my church’s group reading of it, but I plan to get through “An Artist’s Way: Spiritual Path to Creativity” in the next 3 months. Speaking of my creativity, check out the picture I painted at christmas, and last night my first knitted swatch (mostly knit, a few purl rows for practice)! I plan to make some baby hats during the long plane ride and while visiting in Florida. Fun!

One of the best parts about the last two weeks is that he no longer asks to watch cartoons. This used to be his morning “thing”, straight to PBS Kids while I started working. Now, I do my best to put off work until the afternoon and spend time with him on lessons and homemaking from roughly 9-1 each day (unless he is at playschool, two days per week, til the end of this month). In fact, once I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie while I made dinner, and he said, “No, I don’t want ANY movie or TV, just music and my lessons, please!” That really touched my heart. How much of his life have I missed that all he wanted was to curl up with me and learn stuff, and I put him in front of the tube? I know we all do the best we can, and life dealt me a pretty hard blow 7 months ago that took me some time to even BEGIN to recover from, but I am so glad we are starting to get back on track now.
Hubby and I continue to see him adjust to our new attempts to parent as “emotion coaches” and its the perfect encouragement to keep trying. So many less meltdowns, so many more compliant, loving behaviors.

Aside: I’m very proud of Hubby for the strides he is making, as a person, employee, christian, husband and father. He continues to work his recovery program, continues to spend lots of time reading and learning, putting in effort and quality time with me and Lil’ E. He is taking such better care of himself, not out of vanity but for his emotional, physical and spiritual health, such as yoga and a healthy, vegetarian diet. He is reading “A Generous Orthodoxy” by Brian McLaren (I never, not in a million years, thought Hubby and I would be able to discuss theology together! I could just cry!) I told my counselor this week that I actually love my husband now. He is becoming the partner, friend and lover that my heart as a woman desires – something I had given up all hope about a year ago. I still grieve, I still hurt, I still feel angry over the past and the 5 years of emptiness that came before, but I am beginning to see us, as a system, changing from the inside out, and it is a miraculous feeling.

As an individual, a mother and a woman, I am learning a lot too. Seeing the ways in which I interact with mother figures as opposed to female “peers”, I am recognizing how often my feelings and reactions come from a place of not knowing what it means to be a woman, uniquely female, confident and strong, but nurturing and soft too. Things that my other female friends make decisions on seem to come fairly naturally as they operate from the blueprint of their “woman manual” based on what they observed their mother’s do (or not do) well. For me, its just kinda blank, a big wormy mixture of female roll models but nothing really formative and substantial. It often takes concerted effort for me to not revert to a 13 year old mindset when being around older women, from doctors to people I have to interview for work, you name it. It’s like there’s a bit of me that is just way more stunted than the rest, and that bit acts like a kid that is needy for love and approval. At this point, I’m just in the phase of recognizing it, maybe every so often “giving it up” to God and asking for Him to fill up any empty spaces with a secure identity in Him and His love for me. I know it will be a life-long process, taking on many forms and faces over the years as I grow.

Books I’m reading/To Read before Verity arrives:
The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron (for me time)
Finding Our Way Again, Brian McLaren (for church “Theology Pub” starting this Monday!)
The Wounded Healer, Henri Nouwen (for book club, gotta read by the 25th, so this one is reserved for plane ride!)
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child , John Gottman (for Hubby & Me time)
The Creative Family, Amanda Soule (for me time)
Wild Fermentation: The Flavor, Nutrition, and Craft of Live-Culture Foods, Sandor Ellix Katz (me time!)

P.S. Rainy Day Tonic: this reminded me of how steamers can “hit the spot” when I don’t want more coffee but I do want a gentle, warm drink on a cold and rainy day. I’ve been making mine with raw local goat’s milk and raw local honey, a touch of fair trade vanilla extract and a sprinkle of cinnamon and allspice. Sometimes I add this to black tea if my goal is NOT to fall asleep

P.S.S. I luuuuv my kitty, Paz. I call him “squishy” and make up songs for him when I see him. However, he is older than we thought. We smelled something this week, could likely be male kitty spray, on Hubby’s newly painted media shelf. We are getting him nuetered this Wednesday, and time will tell if we caught the spraying behavior in time or not. If not, I have to say goodbye to my Squishy And yes, this is the face I make when I call him “squishy”, picture randomly taken courtesy of Hubby.

As the family weathers its second (mild, Portland) winter sans vehicle, this time rounding the corner into my 3rd trimester of pregnancy, I reflect on a year of alternative transportation in the following long-winded ramble.

To begin with, we never came out to Portland with the goal of being carless. We heard it was possible, but we had a 2002 Altima with great features, and it was completely paid off. Hubby drove with a friend from Florida to Portland in 3 days with the electronics so we wouldn’t have to ship them on the Amtrak (the cheapest way to move cross country!). It was not until 6 months later that we made the decision to sell the car and go without. We had been using the area mass transportation (trimet) pretty frequently in order to save gas money, and we snagged a used 2-seater child bike trailer for 70 bucks to make trips within 5 miles of the house (we live in an Urban area and 5 miles includes a large handful of grocery stores, our church, coffee shops, restaurants, hospitals, etc).

In the beginning: Lil E’ in his sling for walks

When we first sold the car in November of 07, we put the money from the sale towards our debt and began using buses primarily. Hubby worked across state lines, so he had about a 2 hour commute each day, though that job ended not long after we went carless, when the company went out of business. I work from home, so my transportation needs were mostly for errand running and a weekly meeting with a client downtown. I usually used the bus for this, still somewhat unaware of the actual distance between most places I went, which I have come to realize is highly walkable. We found bus trips only inconvenient on the occasion that one was late, or really full, or Lil’ E was acting up, or we didn’t have a few bucks cash for the fare. It took getting used to, immediately requiring extra planning and organization. When you have a car, you can easily decide to leave the house in a spur of the moment, without any planning. Being out of one thing was no big deal, you don’t have to weigh it against cost, time and energy to get the grocery store for one jar of peanut butter. You can commit to plans with friends or to be home at a certain time for a phone call without giving much thought to delays and unpredictable events. Once carless, we realized that our entire lifestyle had to change in many ways: the way we viewed “being on time”, the need to feel in control of how fast and efficiently we went “out” for something and arrived home again, the scope of how far our traveling could bring us (anything passed 5 miles is almost always NOT worth it), how much we could stand relating to each other in an intense situation on the sidewalk, so on. However, the times of stress over carless inconveniences, when viewed against the reality of vehicle stress/traffic/breakdowns/maitenance/cost, were actually pretty minimal.

Neither Hubby nor I ever truly regretted giving up our car, despite what could be viewed as inconveniences. The real breakthrough with living a carless life as a family with a 2 year old began when we stopped relying on the bus system as much and got on our bikes and feet more. Within a month, I’d say we’d built up some basic stamina and could really get up a few small hills and lug some bags of groceries on our shoulders without feeling like we might fall over and die. Neither of us had been athletic or worked out in many years, so it took a bit of getting used to, esp the trips by bike.

On sheer cost, our vehicle (which was paid off) had cost us just over $200 a month in insurance and gas, and when we first went carless, the buses and occasional car-sharing could get us up to around $125 per month (a monthly bus pass for Hubby’s commute is about $80, and the car-sharing was around $8/hr including gas). At the point that Hubby began to plan his bike route to work late this passed summer, the cost savings became much more significant, since he only needs a bus pass in the event of poor weather (once or twice a month on average.) The cost we now spend on transportation now averages 50 dollars per month, including occasional bus passes, rare car-sharing needs, gas money to a friend for carpooling, or replacing things on the bikes that might be needed. For his commute, Hubby uses a large, water proof shoulder bag to carry his meals and papers, and is covered head to toe (almost!) in rain gear for the winter weather, then changes at work (which he says can gross out his co-workers when they arrive in the morning and he has his sweaty shirt drying on the heater! LOL) He’s been a real trooper though. I used to tell Hubby I liked his “chicken legs”, he always had pretty thin little legs. Now, we marvel at how his body shape is changing to accommodate thighs that can bike 9 miles a day, lol.

Lil’ E in bike trailer with groceries

This in mind, I try to keep large quantity shopping or beyond walking distance walking to the weekend, when Hubby can accompany me with the trailer on his bike, and load up a 40 pound 3 year old and 50-100 pounds more in grocery bags and pull the cargo behind him over the Broadway Bridge from Trader Joe’s. Or, now that I’m too pregnant for the bike, we can take the MAX lightrail over and only have about 2 miles of total walking. Our deal is that he carries all the groceries, I deal with the kid

At about 4 months pregnant we came up against a new obstacle. Bike rides to gather things are not possible for me anymore, as the belly compromises my balance and the onslaught of braxton-hicks contractions tend to take over at the worst moments (like going up a bridge). Walking, however, feels WONDERFUL, so I take the hit on the extra time involved and opt for walking 99% of the time. Hubby, bless his heart, walks along, (we tend to go pretty fast and Lil’ E is totally my hero for keeping up – with an occasional ride on dada’s shoulders if he’s super tired.)

Hubby carrying groceries

Speaking of Lil’ E: my biggest source of stress when it comes to being carless is when I venture out on a weekday with Lil’ E by myself. Should he begin acting up, getting whiny, dragging his feet, or any other number of normal 3 year old things to do on a 3 mile walk, I panic a bit. I don’t really have ANY other option for him, and I tend to feel helpless and frustrated if he isn’t content. I let him sit, if there’s time. I tell him we can’t do anything about it, we got to get home. If we are being rained on, or if its windy, and he’s not happy about that, we just talk about it and I hope that he’ll just suck it up after he expresses his feelings and continue putting one foot in front of the other until we reach our destination. Sometimes, like if I think he might fall asleep, I bring a stroller, though this can carry with it a set of other annoyances, so you really never know. Being now, what, 6 months pregnant, I bring into the situation my own issues, from fatigue, backaches, hemorrhoids, irritability and impatience, pelvic pressure, etc., but usually its the emotional/mental exhaustion more than the physical ailments, that can turn an outing into a cortisone-filled torture chamber. (This is one major reason that I find it so crucial to get adequate sleep and super nutrition, to keep myself balanced and able to handle this kind of stuff). When, as a parent, things like this happen and you have a vehicle, you can remind yourself that all you have to do is get back to that car, that safe haven, strap them in, blast some soothing music, and tune out until they fall asleep, calm down, or you get home! lol (noooo, I NEVER did that!) When there’s no car, however, you can either A. discipline your kid on the sidewalk for the waiting Portland world to view, B. Take a deep breath (whisper a prayer or a few expletives, whatever works) and sit down with them until the pout is over (and when this works, you are very, very tired but YAY, you feel like you’ve earned yourself a black belt in parenting!) or C. hold their little hand firmer, try to explain that you need them to work WITH you, grit your teeth and keep walking, dragging them crying alongside you. Those are basically the choices, or at least the one’s I have discovered.

Don’t get me wrong, these instances of being a lone parental unit out running errands with an out-of-whack kid aren’t frequent, but when they happen, WHEW – you’d sell your SOUL for some wheels and the privacy of your car’s slightly tinted windows!

Lil’ E gets his bike for his 3rd birthday,
making short trips a fantastic success!

There are many, many more days that I weigh the possibility of this nightmare, decide to leave the home anyway, and with the best of intentions head out with my beloved little one. We have talked before we go, we prepare each other for the day, and we put our trust in each other that we will do all we can to make this outing smooth. And upon the return home, I often look down at that mini-person, consider the outing in retrospect a major success, and with a heart full of peace and gratitude tell him how much I love him, how proud I am, how thankful I am that he was able to get through this without a meltdown. And the little “I love you so much too, mama” and “you’re welcome, mama. I was a really well-behaved boy today, wasn’t I?!” are priceless treasures!

The rewards of going carless do include cost, environmental impact, physical health, and better planning skills. They do include the occasional accolade from some (”how DO you do it?”) as well as the occasional bit of inferiority complex from others (”psssh… you must think you are better than me” attitude), both of which have nothing at all to do with the realities of choosing a carless family lifestyle. The rewards we have found have been more in the little moments in between, the tensions we work through – which every passing car has front row seats to, and the talks, laughter -and sometimes tears- we share (very similar to hour or more road trips with no radio on ).

With a growing belly, and then an infant, to consider, I believe that being carless is only going to get easier with practice. The hardest lessons have already been learned, now we just have to consistently meet them head on, and with an attitude of grace. I’m actually very excited about strapping Verity to my chest in a homemade moby wrap and taking long walks to get around, her little body rarely knowing the separation from mama via carseat. I’m excited to keep her warm in knits and wraps in the bike trailer next winter, while she gets the street level view of the wide world passing slowly by her curious eyes. With barely over 3 months before her “due” date, I catch myself dreaming about her and how she will change this family more and more. I am amazed at how differently Hubby and I are reacting to her impending addition than we were with Lil’ E. Life lately has been so, so good to us. So gentle with us. So has this pregnancy, graciously. Being a carless family is one of the many ways I hope to raise her in a home that values relationships and simplicity. I can’t wait to introduce her to how amazing this life can be.

I know this because sometimes I get these little epiphany’s (Oprah calls them “ah-hah” moments!) in the wee hours of the morning and later in the day come across quotes randomly in the course of my day which I can only describe as a good swipe to my hind end to drill in the whole “ah-hah” from earlier:

“For as long as you can remember, you have been a pleaser, depending on others to give you an identity. You need not look at that only in a negative way. You wanted to give your heart to others, and you did so quickly and easily. But now you are being asked to let go of all these self-made props and trust that God is enough for you. You must stop being a pleaser and reclaim your identity as a free self.” – Henri Nouwen

“You can deal with an enormous amount of success as well as an enormous amount of failure without losing your identity, because your identity is that you are the beloved. Long before your father and mother, your brothers and sisters, your teachers, your church, or any people touched you in a loving as well as in a wounding way-long before you were rejected by some person or praised by somebody else-that voice has been there always. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” That love is there before you were born and will be there after you die.” – Henri Nouwen

The God’s Politics verse of the day the other day was a neat little snippet from Jesus about greed/materialism/possessions. I love the way this is put:

“And he said to them, ‘Take care! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.’” – Luke 12:15

And if Jesus said it, then, well, brothers and sisters — these are wise words indeed

I will be meditating on this for today and invite you to join me!

Our “normal” frugality (more like “spending see-saw”!) went a few steps further this past week, mainly due to the lack of paychecks I have endured to go on a monthly invoice with all clients (first month’s always a b—h when you try to adjust to a new plan – with no savings.)

I was delighted to find that we not only survived, we actually learned quite a bit about ourselves and thrived on the process of living simply. It was last week, while cutting Hubby’s hair, when I could feel the real sense of gratitude from him, that I remarked, “You know, I have to admit that sometimes I actually LIKE being poor.” We talked about how many things we would just go “out” and do, so many things we would go buy to “save time” if we had the money. So many long talks and healthy living aspects we would miss out on if we hopped in a car every time we had to go somewhere, or still had credit cards to buy impulsively at every turn.

With that in mind, we really stretched ourselves over the next few days. It’s not uncommon nowadays for us to go with only a few dollars (or negative a few dollars) to our name for at least a few days out of each month. And I mean, really. No credit cards to charge with, nothing in the bank, searching-couch-cushions-for-coins kinda broke. That means bills and even groceries, and mostly all those “wants”, have to wait until the next paycheck. Which always seems to come, eventually, and bills get paid — I add with much gratitude for the way life works.

I don’t share this because I want pity or charity or to toot our horns –(that’s the LAST thing I hope you get out of this!). I share because our journey of going into “credit card withdrawal” and making steps on the other side (which might sometimes appear fairly impoverished for many Americans but in reality we are rich in so many ways) has been incredibly insightful, and I hope it’s making lasting impressions on how we view life.

As I said, we had zero dollars to spend going into the weekend. Low on many groceries, including “staples”, we really had to improvise on how we ate and how we spent our time. One of the things we’ve been talking about lately is USING “negative” emotions as a fuel for the energy needed to find solutions and work on something that needs to change, rather than view them as either “bad” and ignore them — OR view them as reasons to indulge in selfish, impulsive, “acting up” types of behaviors and attitudes. We had just such an opportunity for this on Saturday. Completely broke, we could sit around thinking of ways to make or borrow money, or gripe and fight about our dissatisfaction, or complain about our low blood sugar (as I tend to do with my sweet tooth and no food in the house)! But instead we said, hey, let’s use this dissatisfaction as fuel for creative energy! (except we didn’t sound as cheesy as that.) We dug into some old (low VOC!) paint supplies and put our brains to work on some of the crappy furniture in our house we always complain about.

I swapped my office shelves (free on the side of the road last year) for him to use as a media tower next to the tv (which he painted dark brown with the same paint he used for the tv stand we painted last summer). I in turn took the smaller, 70’s “ugly” side table (with missing door) that we got for $5 at Rerun and painted it gray and did some artwork on top, to use as a printer stand in my slowly-being-funkified-office-corner.

We also became geniuses about our constant complaining of lack of counter space, wishing we had a small table or island for under the kitchen window on which to put our baskets of produce each week, when we realized we could take a table we got last year that is currently not used in the studio and rearrange the legs to make a small “half” table under the window! It was a fabulous way to reuse things we already had when we were itching for something “new” — and something to DO! — on a rainy Saturday.
We continued the reorganizing/cleaning/decorating fest long into the evening.We had a large bowl of popcorn for dinner and blackberry pie for dessert (from the frozen blackberries I picked while camping last Fall!). (BTW, have to share that we found a few things to make pancakes on Saturday morning – whole wheat pastry flour, 1 1/2 cups of yogurt, and a handful of frozen blueberries- topped with a drizzle of honey once cooked! It was YUM!)

For Sunday, we HAD to leave the house for church, so we finally bit the bullet on a “to do list” item that’s been on the backburner. We pushed a cart of seriously TONS of books all the way to Powell’s and guess what – we got FIFTY BUCKS! (Boy, we felt like royalty!) On the way there, Hubby looks over as we huff and puff, me with my ol’ preggo self, and says, “Babe, I love you. And I love living in a place where it’s totally okay to be broke and pushing a granny cart of books down the road to get cash at the bookstore!” Again, we were having fun doing something that, were we NOT “poor”, we wouldn’t have experienced. We got a few essentials at the grocery store and headed home with money to spare for bus passes or whatever else “comes up” this week while we await our income. AND we finally have room on the bookshelf and aren’t complaining that we need a bigger one (two birds with one stone!). We spent the afternoon webcaming with grandparents while Hubby made his lunches for the week (quinoa, kale and beans — a seriously healthy, filling, and frugal lunch and a TREMENDOUS change for a guy who used to spend easily 50 bucks a week sometimes on lunch and snacks “out” at work!). Dinner was some frozen veggie hotdogs on whole wheat bread, followed by the simplest, cheapest cookies you can make: 1 cup peanut butter, 1 cup sugar (or healthy alternative!), and 1 egg. Bake at 350 for ten minutes and you got yourself some damn fine po’ folk pb cookies

Hubby also entertains himself quite a bit lately with yoga, (and if you know Hubby, you know this too is twilight zone behavior!) He won’t let me snap a photo of him, but I grabbed one of kitty. Both Lil’ E and Paz like to copy Hubby during his stretch time in the living room. We call this one “Jump-Out-and-Scare-Someone-Matrix-Style-Pose”:

I seriously doubt we would remain joyful about having no money (hence: no cheese, no coffee, no outings, no nuthin!) for an extended period of time (weeks?) but we certainly made the most of it and I’m proud of our little family for adjusting to ever more extremes of the “simple” life over the holiday season. (Hubby wants to avoid getting toilet paper until our next paycheck but that is where I DRAW THE LINE! lol) I’m also more convinced that time spent in relationship far outweighs time spent working harder to “make more”, and so long as we can manage the bare essentials of bills (no extra minutes, no home phone, no cable, no car!), the rest is worth the time and energy to learn to make home-made, play board games, reuse stuff around the house, get creative, and most of all- LAUGH together. May 2009 continue to be as frugally fun as our first weekend of the year!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some pb cookies to devour

P.S. “WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS!?” I just have to add that it has also been interesting being frugal about the weird circle light in the bathroom that went out two weeks ago — hmmm… pooping and showering via candlelight — for realz. I just hope our electric bill thanks us! (Don’t worry, we plan to make a trip to the hardware store for a few much needed items like this on Saturday.)

P.S.S. Sorry for all the “!” and ” “, a bad blogging habit of mine.

In honor of New Year’s: Hubby’s hair journey as he patiently asks me daily to give him a haircut.
Before:

Okay, okay, so that’s not him…

But trust me, the do was bad. And professional haircuts are simply a luxury we cannot afford. SO – about once a month, with some bonding over the buzzing of the trimmer, we get him all purty again (and we just HAD to get this done in honor of the new year ):

AFTER:

Ta da!

There’s some things I really have to chew on for years, digesting only what my gut is ready for, one phase at a time.

I have a memory of a phone conversation 3 years ago in which I was commiserating on the benefits of an all fruit/veggie detox with my mom-in-law, and remarked, “I guess … wouldn’t it be better to do organic fruits and veggies? I mean, can you really detox with pesticides and everything on your food?” I sincerely wasn’t sure, just suspected the whole organic thing would be imperative to a true detox. At that time, I was all about “The Grocery Game”, clipping coupons, utilizing Walgreens rebates, shopping at the produce stand around the corner from my house (which consisted of extra cheap, extra ripe, extra sprayed produce that the supermarket wouldn’t take!). I had our grocery bill down to less than $40 per week! Everything I ate was cheap and on sale, as the most important factor was frugality. Albeit slightly “well-balanced”, we definitely did NOT try to eat chemical free.

But the little thought I had in that conversation lead me to do a little more research, which caught on like a bug. Over the years I discovered, somewhat organically (pun intended:)) the horrors of drinking cows milk (and wasn’t surprised, since I’m allergic to milk anyway) and then there was this post on the difference between refined vs unrefined eating, and this one when I discovered a local organic farm to pick from in central Florida. I got my hands on organic, raw, and vegan cookbooks to learn a bit more. (This eventually led to rethinking the toys we own and other homemaking thoughts.)

In the process, for this and many other reasons, we packed up and headed to the Pacific NW, where a world of new ways to live awaited me!

In Portland, I was able to embrace things I only dreamed about during Sara Snow shows, like a large farmers market of local and organic produce, co-ops, delivery bins, fresh bakeries, backyard chickens, oh my! It is sooooo fantastic to live in an area like this, (and yes, I know Portland isn’t the only one ). So, slowly, I’ve gotten a bit more comfortable with ever more “radical” ways to eat and live. As I said, these things happen over time; I’m not a Burger King to raw vegan overnight kinda gal. (And neither is Hubby, who still thinks there’s something funny about goat’s milk- though it was around longer than cow’s and is much easier to digest than cows, AND he loves goat cheese– go fig!)

What am I getting at? you ask.

(Good question. Like all my post’s, I don’t format or edit them for more than about 2 minutes so you get what you get.)

My long introduction is to eventually get to my point about new things I am trying, venturing into, and sold on. Things like making my own breads, kefir, and oat milk (info/recipes in the links) like I mentioned in my New Year’s Resolution post. Things that take a bit more time, taste a bit different, but the making of which benefits my family’s nutrition AND pocketbook. Being an upset digestive system (IBS) sufferer, I especially like the idea of furthering the journey towards homemade, organic, beneficial bacteria, whole grain eating.

Now NeoHippieMama’s got me thinking again about making my own soap and lotion, something I invested in waaaaay back when, but had to leave all my bulk supplies in Lakeland. Perhaps after I’ve gotten used to making the food stuff, I’ll tip toe into this other area, including simple, natural homemade laundry detergent, toothpaste, shampoo and dish soap, so I can buy bulk supplies, mix up batches, and wa-la. (Note: also want to make natural art supplies for me and E.)

Total aside, can I just say: Trader Joe’s – I love you. Let’s have babies. Thank you for supplying me with brownies I can make really fast and don’t have to feel guilty about (No-Pudge Fudge Brownies). I really needed a “treat” tonight. I discovered the lonesome box in the back of the pantry, added 3/4 cup of yogurt and enjoyed 35 minutes later with cinnamon sprinkled on top, accompanied by tea and a good book. Mmmmmm…

(I’ll have to tell you more about the book in this picture, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. It’s one we began to read 5 months ago but had to focus more on the marriage than parenting at that time. We’ve been reading aloud at night and so far it has been a wonderful resource in recognizing our faulty parenting styles and how to get better. One of the best parenting books I’ve ever read, actually.)

For more ways to embrace natural homemaking (frugally) check out some of my favs:
Sustainable Living on a Budget
Not Milk
No Shampoo Revolution
Passionate Homemaking: Natural Living on a Budget

(and all the links in the post content)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

– is that the question?

Drum roll pleeeeease…

blalalalalablalaldadddaddaddda *drum roll noises*

After much thought and prayer over the years, and even more of late, I’ve decided to HOMESCHOOL!

Debra was a wonderful resource with her big ol’ box of curriculum books and big ol’ mind of insights and experience. I realized the time commitment could be just right for my workload, and I have officially committed myself to pre-k through K. Lil’ E has begun so many things at this age, and has been asking me to teach him to read, and I just know he will thrive in a curriculum geared to his interest and intellectual level. So I’m back to the making learning boards and have ordered some of the books for this year (thanks, nana!) and will share my journey with ya’ll readers from time to time

I plan to start Jan-April and take some time off for the first two months that Verity is born (one of the beauties of homeschooling, I’ve learned, is that “summer” is whatever time of year works for your family!)

These are the books that have to get started on the basics:
“Bob Books, Set 1: Beginning Readers” Bobby Lynn Maslen
“Janice VanCleave’s Play and Find Out about Nature: Easy Experiments for Young Children”
“Janice VanCleave’s Science Around the Year” Janice VanCleave
“The 100+ Series Math Activities for the 100th Day (100+)” School Specialty Publishing
“Games for Reading: Playful Ways to Help Your Child Read” Peggy Kaye

And I use some good Waldorf books, kids “learning spanish” books and cd’s, arts and craft project ideas and kids encyclopedia’s we already own and love. If you’re interested in which one’s, I’d be happy to share.

I anticipated this decision to be one that required *a bit* (ha!) of extra discipline and productivity on my part, and working 25 hours per week minimum was a stretch to my budget AND the daily rhythm I wrote out (and let’s not forget about nina nueva in less than FOUR MONTHS!). No sooner did I concede about that difficulty, I found out some great, GREAT news: I got a rate increase! A GOOD one! One that might mean I only need to work for one client and everything else I can freelance in my “free” time. How awesome is that?! It always seems to work this way, doesn’t it? I don’t see the “way” perfectly, but I make the decision I know is best, and sure enough, the money or whatever else kinda falls into place. (OR, lol, I DON’T do what my heart is telling me, go with my head, try to be practical and NEVER seem to get anywhere!!!)

Ok, back to work, coffee and croquignoles (cajun doughnuts! recipe below) and waiting for the ball to drop! Welcome, 2009! (psst… we’ve been reading books about the ball dropping to Ethan, and he really, really wanted to see it himself… sooooo we staged it! He took a late nap, stayed up like he was having dinner and doughnuts and waiting for it, and then we showed him a youtube version of last year’s! He was duped, too – counted down, made lots of noise on his instruments, screamed Happy New Year and kissed us, lol. Too cute. Went to bed at 8pm )

(p.s. Hubby is hilarious- in honor of new year’s he celebrated with a peruvian tradition: run around the block with a suitcase. Yeah, I know. I’m surprised he wasn’t mugged too.)

Croquignoles

FROM: Cajun Cuisine

INGREDIENTS

1/4 cup butter
1-1/2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla or almond flavoring
3 eggs
1 cup milk
4 teaspoons baking powder
Pinch of salt
4 cups flour
Oil for frying
Granulated or powdered sugar

Beat butter until soft; add sugar gradually and beat until mixture is light and fluffy.

Add vanilla or almond flavoring and the eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Add milk and mix well.

Mix baking powder, salt and flour together and add to the dry mixture, mixing well.

Place dough on a well-floured board and roll to 1/2-inch thickness; cut into rounds with a donut cutter.

Fry in oil at 375 degrees until lightly brown, turning to brown both sides. Drain on paper towels and sprinkle with granulated or powdered sugar.

Makes about 3 dozen