As the family weathers its second (mild, Portland) winter sans vehicle, this time rounding the corner into my 3rd trimester of pregnancy, I reflect on a year of alternative transportation in the following long-winded ramble.

To begin with, we never came out to Portland with the goal of being carless. We heard it was possible, but we had a 2002 Altima with great features, and it was completely paid off. Hubby drove with a friend from Florida to Portland in 3 days with the electronics so we wouldn’t have to ship them on the Amtrak (the cheapest way to move cross country!). It was not until 6 months later that we made the decision to sell the car and go without. We had been using the area mass transportation (trimet) pretty frequently in order to save gas money, and we snagged a used 2-seater child bike trailer for 70 bucks to make trips within 5 miles of the house (we live in an Urban area and 5 miles includes a large handful of grocery stores, our church, coffee shops, restaurants, hospitals, etc).

In the beginning: Lil E’ in his sling for walks

When we first sold the car in November of 07, we put the money from the sale towards our debt and began using buses primarily. Hubby worked across state lines, so he had about a 2 hour commute each day, though that job ended not long after we went carless, when the company went out of business. I work from home, so my transportation needs were mostly for errand running and a weekly meeting with a client downtown. I usually used the bus for this, still somewhat unaware of the actual distance between most places I went, which I have come to realize is highly walkable. We found bus trips only inconvenient on the occasion that one was late, or really full, or Lil’ E was acting up, or we didn’t have a few bucks cash for the fare. It took getting used to, immediately requiring extra planning and organization. When you have a car, you can easily decide to leave the house in a spur of the moment, without any planning. Being out of one thing was no big deal, you don’t have to weigh it against cost, time and energy to get the grocery store for one jar of peanut butter. You can commit to plans with friends or to be home at a certain time for a phone call without giving much thought to delays and unpredictable events. Once carless, we realized that our entire lifestyle had to change in many ways: the way we viewed “being on time”, the need to feel in control of how fast and efficiently we went “out” for something and arrived home again, the scope of how far our traveling could bring us (anything passed 5 miles is almost always NOT worth it), how much we could stand relating to each other in an intense situation on the sidewalk, so on. However, the times of stress over carless inconveniences, when viewed against the reality of vehicle stress/traffic/breakdowns/maitenance/cost, were actually pretty minimal.

Neither Hubby nor I ever truly regretted giving up our car, despite what could be viewed as inconveniences. The real breakthrough with living a carless life as a family with a 2 year old began when we stopped relying on the bus system as much and got on our bikes and feet more. Within a month, I’d say we’d built up some basic stamina and could really get up a few small hills and lug some bags of groceries on our shoulders without feeling like we might fall over and die. Neither of us had been athletic or worked out in many years, so it took a bit of getting used to, esp the trips by bike.

On sheer cost, our vehicle (which was paid off) had cost us just over $200 a month in insurance and gas, and when we first went carless, the buses and occasional car-sharing could get us up to around $125 per month (a monthly bus pass for Hubby’s commute is about $80, and the car-sharing was around $8/hr including gas). At the point that Hubby began to plan his bike route to work late this passed summer, the cost savings became much more significant, since he only needs a bus pass in the event of poor weather (once or twice a month on average.) The cost we now spend on transportation now averages 50 dollars per month, including occasional bus passes, rare car-sharing needs, gas money to a friend for carpooling, or replacing things on the bikes that might be needed. For his commute, Hubby uses a large, water proof shoulder bag to carry his meals and papers, and is covered head to toe (almost!) in rain gear for the winter weather, then changes at work (which he says can gross out his co-workers when they arrive in the morning and he has his sweaty shirt drying on the heater! LOL) He’s been a real trooper though. I used to tell Hubby I liked his “chicken legs”, he always had pretty thin little legs. Now, we marvel at how his body shape is changing to accommodate thighs that can bike 9 miles a day, lol.

Lil’ E in bike trailer with groceries

This in mind, I try to keep large quantity shopping or beyond walking distance walking to the weekend, when Hubby can accompany me with the trailer on his bike, and load up a 40 pound 3 year old and 50-100 pounds more in grocery bags and pull the cargo behind him over the Broadway Bridge from Trader Joe’s. Or, now that I’m too pregnant for the bike, we can take the MAX lightrail over and only have about 2 miles of total walking. Our deal is that he carries all the groceries, I deal with the kid

At about 4 months pregnant we came up against a new obstacle. Bike rides to gather things are not possible for me anymore, as the belly compromises my balance and the onslaught of braxton-hicks contractions tend to take over at the worst moments (like going up a bridge). Walking, however, feels WONDERFUL, so I take the hit on the extra time involved and opt for walking 99% of the time. Hubby, bless his heart, walks along, (we tend to go pretty fast and Lil’ E is totally my hero for keeping up – with an occasional ride on dada’s shoulders if he’s super tired.)

Hubby carrying groceries

Speaking of Lil’ E: my biggest source of stress when it comes to being carless is when I venture out on a weekday with Lil’ E by myself. Should he begin acting up, getting whiny, dragging his feet, or any other number of normal 3 year old things to do on a 3 mile walk, I panic a bit. I don’t really have ANY other option for him, and I tend to feel helpless and frustrated if he isn’t content. I let him sit, if there’s time. I tell him we can’t do anything about it, we got to get home. If we are being rained on, or if its windy, and he’s not happy about that, we just talk about it and I hope that he’ll just suck it up after he expresses his feelings and continue putting one foot in front of the other until we reach our destination. Sometimes, like if I think he might fall asleep, I bring a stroller, though this can carry with it a set of other annoyances, so you really never know. Being now, what, 6 months pregnant, I bring into the situation my own issues, from fatigue, backaches, hemorrhoids, irritability and impatience, pelvic pressure, etc., but usually its the emotional/mental exhaustion more than the physical ailments, that can turn an outing into a cortisone-filled torture chamber. (This is one major reason that I find it so crucial to get adequate sleep and super nutrition, to keep myself balanced and able to handle this kind of stuff). When, as a parent, things like this happen and you have a vehicle, you can remind yourself that all you have to do is get back to that car, that safe haven, strap them in, blast some soothing music, and tune out until they fall asleep, calm down, or you get home! lol (noooo, I NEVER did that!) When there’s no car, however, you can either A. discipline your kid on the sidewalk for the waiting Portland world to view, B. Take a deep breath (whisper a prayer or a few expletives, whatever works) and sit down with them until the pout is over (and when this works, you are very, very tired but YAY, you feel like you’ve earned yourself a black belt in parenting!) or C. hold their little hand firmer, try to explain that you need them to work WITH you, grit your teeth and keep walking, dragging them crying alongside you. Those are basically the choices, or at least the one’s I have discovered.

Don’t get me wrong, these instances of being a lone parental unit out running errands with an out-of-whack kid aren’t frequent, but when they happen, WHEW – you’d sell your SOUL for some wheels and the privacy of your car’s slightly tinted windows!

Lil’ E gets his bike for his 3rd birthday,
making short trips a fantastic success!

There are many, many more days that I weigh the possibility of this nightmare, decide to leave the home anyway, and with the best of intentions head out with my beloved little one. We have talked before we go, we prepare each other for the day, and we put our trust in each other that we will do all we can to make this outing smooth. And upon the return home, I often look down at that mini-person, consider the outing in retrospect a major success, and with a heart full of peace and gratitude tell him how much I love him, how proud I am, how thankful I am that he was able to get through this without a meltdown. And the little “I love you so much too, mama” and “you’re welcome, mama. I was a really well-behaved boy today, wasn’t I?!” are priceless treasures!

The rewards of going carless do include cost, environmental impact, physical health, and better planning skills. They do include the occasional accolade from some (”how DO you do it?”) as well as the occasional bit of inferiority complex from others (”psssh… you must think you are better than me” attitude), both of which have nothing at all to do with the realities of choosing a carless family lifestyle. The rewards we have found have been more in the little moments in between, the tensions we work through – which every passing car has front row seats to, and the talks, laughter -and sometimes tears- we share (very similar to hour or more road trips with no radio on ).

With a growing belly, and then an infant, to consider, I believe that being carless is only going to get easier with practice. The hardest lessons have already been learned, now we just have to consistently meet them head on, and with an attitude of grace. I’m actually very excited about strapping Verity to my chest in a homemade moby wrap and taking long walks to get around, her little body rarely knowing the separation from mama via carseat. I’m excited to keep her warm in knits and wraps in the bike trailer next winter, while she gets the street level view of the wide world passing slowly by her curious eyes. With barely over 3 months before her “due” date, I catch myself dreaming about her and how she will change this family more and more. I am amazed at how differently Hubby and I are reacting to her impending addition than we were with Lil’ E. Life lately has been so, so good to us. So gentle with us. So has this pregnancy, graciously. Being a carless family is one of the many ways I hope to raise her in a home that values relationships and simplicity. I can’t wait to introduce her to how amazing this life can be.