Hubby and I are just sitting here reading quotes to each other from books we are reading or found online. I thought some were good enough to pass on

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From John Maxwell’s, Winning with People:
Healthy people are…

• more willing to change
• more willing to admit failure
• more willing to discuss issues
• more willing to learn from others
• more willing to do something about the problem
• able to travel light

Hurting people are…

• less willing to change
• less willing to admit failure
• less willing to discuss issues
• less willing to learn from others
• less willing to do something about the problem
• carrying a lot of baggage

“The difference between who you are today and who you will be in 5 years will be the people you spend time with and the books you read.” (Maxwell)

“The way you view others is determined by who you are… If you don’t like people, that really is a statement about you and the way YOU look at people. Your viewpoint is the problem. And if that’s the case, don’t try to change others, don’t even focus on others, focus on yourself.” (Maxwell)

(Maxwell)- THINK before you speak:

Is it:
T – true?
H – helpful?
I – inspiring?
N – necessary?
K – kind?

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“Often the anger experienced in their contemporary relationships is really a displaced anger from an earlier event or situation… Soul wounds do not heal if they are ignored. They continue to govern our emotions, our self-images, and our ways of interacting in relationships…

“I must enter the abject humiliation of needing, of asking for what my soul longs for, instead of protecting myself from the pain of its loss… Most of all, surrendering to God requires that I fully own my personal responsibility to love others well.” – Nancy Groom “From Bondage to Bonding”

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ARE YOU A DOORMAT? (”Unbreakable Bonds” by Meier)

Doing things for others that they ought to be doing for themselves. I give away my praise. I live for the praise of others.

Others make my choices. I give away my priorities. Others direct my life.

Others determine my self worth and define my identity. I give away my personhood. Others determine my value.

Rejection is what I fear most. I give away my purpose. I reduce my purpose to fear.

Mad at myself for not measuring up. I give away my pardon. I am perpetually self-critical.

Afraid of conflict. I give away my power. I teach myself that I do not deserve to be powerful.

True love is missing from my heart. I give away my plenty. I relinquish the abundance I could experience from loving myself unconditionally.”

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“The more clearly we recognize how deep our commitment to self-protection operates in our relational style and the more courageously we face the ugliness of protecting ourselves rather than loving others, the more we’ll shift our direction.” – Larry Crabb, Inside Out

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“Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem… Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses. Don’t argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it- immediately. Don’t get into a blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over. Work on you. On be.

Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It’s not what they’re not doing or should be doing that’s the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is “out there,” stop yourself. That thought is the problem.” – Steven Covey, “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”

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“If we are to become great lovers, we must return again and again to the love of the Great Lover. Thomas Merton reminds us that the root of Christian love is not the will to love but the faith to believe that one is deeply loved by God.” – David Benner, “Sacred Companions”

“Soul hospitality is also a gift of safety. Think of feeling safe enough with another person that without weighing words or measuring thoughts you are able to pour yourself out, trusting that the other person will keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away….

Soul friendship is the gift of a place where anything can be said without fear of criticism or ridicule. It is a place where masks and pretensions can be set aside. It is a place where it is safe to share deepest secrets, darkest fears, most acute sources of shame, most disturbing questions or anxieties. It is a place of grace- a place where others are accepted as they are for the sake of who they may become.” – (Benner)

“Dialogue involves the risk of revealing what is most precious to me. If I remain in a safe zone of opinions, facts, and information, I have not exposed my deepest self. Nor have I ventured to the place of deep encounter with others that is called dialogue… What I do or say is not ultimately all that important. The most important thing I can do is to help the other person be in contact with the gracious presence of Christ. If I bring anything of value to the meeting it is that I mediate divine grace.” (Benner)

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“If marriage is meant to show people what the oneness of God is like, what happens when everybody is one in the presence of God?

If marriage is a picture of something else, what would happen to marriage if we found ourselves living in the midst of that something else?

Is sex in its greatest, purest, most joyful and honest expression a glimpse of forever?

Are these brief moments of abandon and oneness and ecstasy just a couple of seconds or minutes of how things will be forever?

Is sex a picture of heaven?…

Maybe Jesus knew what was coming and knew that whatever we experience here will pale compared with what awaits everyone.

Do you long for that?

Because that’s the center of Jesus’ message.

An invitation.

To trust that it’s true,

to trust that it’s real,

to trust that God is actually going to make all things new.”

-Rob Bell, “Sex, God”