Posts from — October 2006

I don’t know what to say right now except that I’m so totally exausted, yet euphorically, delusionally tired.

The thing is, I’m a mom. Like, a total mom. So with all this complete exaustion comes this reward, this blessing, that fills my heart with so much joy I have to just rant for a minute:

I love to press my nose against my son’s skull and sniff the smell of his hair. When I put his head in my hands, I can remember it coming out my la-la. When I put him to sleep, I secretly love that he stands up and wants to hold on to my neck for as long as his legs can stand it, how he just wants nothing more than to have that human contact. I love that he refused counterfeit mothers in the form of a plastic nipple or blanky or pacifier or thumb- if he needed comfort, I was there. He is nearly 15 months, a fact I absolutely cannot believe. But I am so so so happy that despite all our finanical struggles, I trusted my heart and stayed with my child rather than leaving home for a job. I can’t believe how much I wouldv’e missed, I can’t believe how crazy wonderful it is to hold him and spend hours each day putting him down, feeding him, cleaning up after him- it is a joy to give for him. My backaches, flabby boobs, sleepless nights, and crumb infested car scream, I CARE ABOUT MY CHILD! But in this society, a stay at home mom has a very hard time admitting all that. Why? Because when you rejoice in your own blessing, there is some one who might be jealous, even offended, or you might come off conceited or self-righteous. And it can become sort of suffercating, as if you have to make up reasons why staying at home with your kid isn’t all it is cracked up to be so that no one feels like they are missing out. It’s politically (socially?) incorrect to write an article about it, unless its for a very specific demographic. All the moms who were “forced” to work outside the home in order to provide a “life” for their kids will get their panties all a twaddle. Well, that’s all fine. We all have our version of reality and use it to provide our conscience some much needed therapy. I do it in different parts of my life, we all do it. What this post is about has nothing to do with any one else’s lot in life; I simply have too much joy in mothering at the moment to contain it any longer! I LOVE THE CHOICE TO STAY HOME! I HAVE TO COOLEST KID EVER! SOME ONE REJOICE WITH ME WITHOUT GETTING OFFENDED! YAY!

Like I said, I am a total mom. And it is SWEET! I don’t care who knows it! There is nothing to be ashamed of! In fact, if you read this and have anything to say or think but “AMEN!” then shut your pie-hole, cause darn it, I’m HAPPY!

Ok, that’s enough.

NO ITS NOT! MY KID IS SO COOL! YAY!

Ok, going for real. Bye.

Found a cool trinket:

Lostpedia- a wikipedia for all things lost- has a good article on the interactive game The Lost Experience, worth reading as it reveals some clues about the backstory of the Others/ Dharma, the hanso foundation, Paik Heavy Industries (Sun’s father), Widmore Industries (Desmond’s girl Penny Widmore’s father), and so on.

http://www.lostpedia.com/wiki/The_Lost_Experience_revelations

You can also follow any of the hyperlinked words for more and more threads, or search if you want comprehensive info on a certain person or idea.

Viv’s Zaany Re-Cap:

Sun’s backflash: As a young girl, she breaks the glass ballerina, then lies about it to her father, even when the maid will be fired for it. As an adult, she is sleeping around (finally, they reveal it!) with Jae Lee (something like that?). Who’s at the door? Mr. Paik! Sun’s crazy-ars father! Busted Sun! But will you ever tell Jin? Nope. Rather let your father force Jin into “delivering a message” to this man who shamed the family. Jin doesn’t go through with it, though DANG that Jin can fight!. Back in the car, Sun’s lover’s body falls onto Jin’s car. Did he jump, was he pushed? Will we ever know? Jin is learning more english, back on the island. He seems to know when Sun is betraying him. Does he know, has he known all along, about her affair? (He did tell her lover to leave and never make contact. Sounds like he knew to me.)

On the island:

Juliette: your soup tastes like crapola so shove it up your bootie or go give it to Ben! As he said, you’ve never made him soup before! I don’t trust this chica one bit. Sawyer is right – she wouldv’e shot Kate. She looks all sweet but she ain’t. She is like that to get Jack to cooperate, that’s it.

Jack: poor guy, he really looks like crud! But ol’ Ben has a little convo to convince him that they still have contact with the outside world, showing him a tape of the Red Sox winning the world series. He does this why? So that Jack will begin to change his “ad…perspective” (what was he going to say originally???) Ben needs Jack to think of the Others as real people, good people, friends? Why? So that when the time comes, Jack will cooperate. With what? Oh, I can only imagine. One thing is for sure -Jack might begin to think about helping them with the promise of being brought back “home”. Will he be a leader and ally for the Others so that the losties will trust them? Or to overtake the losties? Jack, the one every one depends on, will he join forces with the OTHER side???

Ben/Juliette/Colleen: Collen, a new character, walks in on the other two talking. “Am I interrupting something?” Hmmm, sounds a bit jealous. Love triangle? We know Ben and Juliette are over, and we see Colleen peck/kiss “Boss” (as Sawyer liked to call him while working), so what is this all about? Well, Colleen is now shot by Sun. Though she probably won’t die because… SPOILER ALERT

***Colleen is said to have her own backstory, as a security gaurd***

You can read again

Sayid: I knew you weren’t dumb enough to camp on the shore! Setting up a trap, good one! Too bad they snuck COMPLETELY past you and took over the boat with poor Sun (though her lying self isn’t my favorite character by far) in it.

Jin: Have you known of the affair? Are you sure this is your baby? Why are you so “I am man, you must obey”? Hmm? Hmm? But thanks for not killing Sun’s lovebug, cause you are a GOOD PERSON!

Sawyer: Stop looking at Kate’s —! Ha ha! Was the kiss for real, or were you just sizing up the fighter’s of the group? Good move, though.

Waiting for a mistake: I almost thought Sawyer was getting an upperhand until sure enough, he and Kate’s convo is being displayed before Ben (?) on monitors. They hear everything. That means they heard Carl’s escape attempt before he did it. Hmmm

 Carl/Alex: Alex appears behind the bushes to talk to Kate without the others seeing her. She asked Kate about Carl, saying “you weren’t even suppossed to be in that cage.” Perplexing. Was Carl an Other? A Decoy or a rebel? A tailie? Strangest theory I have heard is that he is the little boy from the tail section, Zach, haven undergone a growth experiment. Supporting details point to his shirt being the same and too small? I don’t know if this idea holds water, but its there. (By the way, Carl is the one who was in Sawyer’s adjacent cell last episode, attempted an escape, and we have not seen again.)

 As for those (unnamed) persons who would like to claim that Lost sucks now because they aren’t answering ANY questions ever, I will cut and paste from username “filextv” on the ABC message boards:

“They have been [answering questions]: how the plane crashed (not pushing the button), is the button pushing really doing anything (yes), where is alex (with the others), where was clare taken (medical hatch), how the beechcraft got there (nigerian drug smugglers), are they visible to the outside world (normally, no), can you sail off the island with knowing exactly where to go (no), what happened to the tail section (answered), goodwin and ethan are others (yes), and on and on”

Anyway, tonights epi was fabulous and got the plot moving along. Next week, we go to the other side of the island, where Locke, Ecko, and Desmond emerge from the hatch. (I hear Desmond’s necki!)

Well, its my fault. I got Ethan so used to sticking his feet in fountains like a little flower child that now when he sees water of any kind he automatically sits down and tries to put his legs in and splash around. Shoes on? Doesn’t matter. Yucky aquarium water with fish poop and algae? No bother! His feet don’t skip a beat: GET ME IN THE WATER.

Here we are, some pretty clean water:

It’s really not that hard.

Some of my favorite things to do while living in Lakeland:

1. Well, I like to shop, and I really like to shop for food. Try Strawberry Palace produce stand off South Florida Ave., Gourmet Country in Merchants Walk Plaza, the Lake Miriam Publix, or travel to Tampa for Wild Oats Markets.

2. Outdoors: The weather is FINALLY letting up, as our 8 month summer comes to an end. Step outside, you just might smell cinnamon in the air. Lake Hollingsworth- if you want to commit to the 3 miles. Stroll downtown- include Lake Mirror, Barnett Family Park, and Hollis Gardens in your walk. Lake Morton is looking a little better these days, and as a plus for parents, the children’s section of the Lakeland Public Library is slowly being put back together (yes, that’s indoors, but you can feed the birds at the lake when you get out!) Also, take a walk in your neighborhood- unless you live in the Combee area!- or try the boardwalk/nature trail at Peterson Park for some quiet time.

3. Great days in Lakeland wouldn’t be complete without goooood coffee. Starbucks coffee far outweighs the local coffee scene, sorry. It’s brewed darker, fresher, and just plain better. For specialty espresso drinks (for the java illiterate, that means lattes, caps, misto/ a lait’s, mochas, machiatto’s, etc.) stick with the wonderful siren logo as well; Starbucks just does a better job with consistency of recipes, temperatures, and quality of the espresso shot itself (blame that on the equipment). However, skip the frapps if you want a blender drink: Mitchell’s Coffee House has got some Frozen Mochas that really hit the spot. Made with powder mix of espresso and chocolate, the outcome is generally smoother, less syrupy sweet.

4. Pizza and other “joints”: Pizza Palace (downtown and off S. Fl) is great, and so is the pizza place in the new Lakeside Plaza next to the movies. YUM! Sandwhiches: try Purple Onion’s french dip or cuban, or Mitchell’s Coffee House lunches M-F from 11-2. Panera Bread is a decent choice for baked goods, sandwiches, etc – esp. the broccoli chedder soup. On weekend, enjoy 2 for $2 all beef Nathan’s hot dogs at the twisty treat/ Nathan’s place off S. Florida in downtown area. I wish I could refer you to nicer dinner choices but we are too poor for that. I recall Gosh (sushi bar), Cafe Panino, and Carabba’s being my favorite before my son came along!

5. After all your shopping for food, eating, drinking coffee, and then working it all off at the parks, remember to find a place to cuddle up with a good book. While Barnes n Nobles and Books A Million offer a large variety of books that you can take with you to your seat and never put back on the shelf, I like to find little nooks of reading space. Munn Park’s benches are nice, or the large steps surrounding Lake Mirror. Starbucks’ make good reading spots, so long as it isn’t their rush hour. I used to read on SEU’s campus but I don’t think alumni’s should sit around at their old schools.

6. Wines- I was told today by an unnamed employee at an unnamed chain wine store that their prices are too high and the quality ain’t that fabulous. He or she suggested I just go to Tim’s. Tim’s Wine Market is my favorite, and I don’t think its JUST because my brother-in-law works there, but more that he hasn’t brought me a wine I didn’t like. In comparison, the other unnamed place has given me four tastings and four purchases, and only once did I get a taste of something I liked, (and even then, the sales associate convinced me to buy something else, which I hated when I tried it at home and dumped it out.)

7. Art: I don’t get around to this much, and I really should. But a great day needs some art so here goes: Lakeland has a unique mix of artists, we are really quite rich in creativity. Just look at the pieces hanging on the walls of the downtown coffee shops. For some creative inspiration, Polk Art Museum is an obvious choice. Or make your own at one of the many pottery places, (my favorites are Pottery on the Park or Picasso’s Cup). The local colleges, even PCC, offers art events through out the year, and the annual Platform Florida is a fun event too.

8. Churches: A great day in Lakeland might, for me, include church in some factor, especially because faith plays a major role in my having a great day. Church and I have a love-hate relationship. I’ve tried many protestant churches in Lakeland and I’m just going to lay it out there: The bigger ones like Victory, Family Worship, and Without Walls turned me off by the hyper emotional mix of spiritual gifts and flaunting materialism. Some smaller baptist churches were just way too, how should I say it, ostrich with its head stuck in the sand? Bigger baptist church was great structurally, had much too offer (FBC at the Mall), but the quirky pastor with his wanna-be-mullet, constant smirk, and sermon’s made of nothing but acronym’s were too much. Others were extremely closed off, fake, or greedy, the unfortunate imperfection of churches and my own judgemental sin made it impossible for me to deal with. My family and I have been going to and getting involved in Trinity Presbyterian, because despite the whole predestination thing, the community is one of the most real, gutsy, loving, selfless, Jesus-focused I’ve ever been around. Also worth noting is Oasis Community Church- visited a few times and here of great things happening there.

9. Music: A great day needs great music. Whether you own an iPod or you can just listen in the car with the windows down, (or maybe you are one of the few people who keep the tv OFF and listen to music still- like, “what’s that in the corner over there, honey, a stereo? Gosh, I forgot all about THAT!”) My favorites go all over the spectrum, so I’ll limit to my recent music binges; Ella Fitzgerald- the swing stuff, not the ballads, John Williams and the Boston Pop Orchestra with their CD Joy to the World -hey, its as close as I got to the entire Home Alone soundtrack, Jimmy Needham- oh, so good, and as always, Nicole Nordeman. Diana Krall makes for some good times too.

10. Friends and family in Lakeland- though we fight all the time, and you all get super annoyed with me constantly (trust me, it works both ways!), a good day usually gets boring if I am going it alone! Hubby- in your good moods, you are truly the best friend a wife could have!; baby E-man- I’d take you any where and I never leave you with a sitter because YOU ARE SO MUCH FUN!; Nanny/canine woman- damn, why do we keep hanging out and leaving all other responsibilities behind- probably because we LIKE each other!; neighbors/relatives R and R; you guys are the best, you make me laugh, how R-female goes on and on, especially if she drank too much, and R-male loves to talk about anything and everything he thinks he is an expert on!; Kitchen Designer- when you are happy, every one knows it! You laugh loud and strong- its so good to hear. Keep ya head up!, and Mec- who probably never ever reads this because she is busy chasin around two little ones all day, you are the kind soul that I aspire to be!

That’s the ten ways I have a great day in Lakeland. How do you?

Hey guys, I was out of town for Bean’s Bacherlorette Party, (check her out with her new butt bloss). I’m pretty exausted but feelin good. Today was the first day in central FL that it wasn’t totally hot, and from there things kept getting better. My coffee at Starbucks was perfect, we got groceries at Wild Oats, and spent the day as a family putsin’ around. Since Hubby starts work next Monday, we are enjoying his last few days without a vacation for another year! Beans’ wedding is this weekend, (sigh… tear.) Her and Sir Kubs A Lot make a wonderful pair, so I will be so happy to stand for their marriage.

I will start back up on Wednesday night, after LOST!

Tonights episode, a Jack centric in regards to back story, actually opened with a different character’s flashback. In a very season two premiere-esque way, we see Juliet, a soft spoken, doe eyed blond (who interestingly enough has an intense right swing), wake up, play a CD, the song “Downtown” attempting to cheer her up as she struggles to hold her composure while staring in a mirror. Then the beep, but this time it’s not Desmond’s computer counting down – it’s, it’s, oh, it’s just the oven timer. The muffins, however, are burnt, so the timer is a bit off.

What proceeds in the first segment of tonight’s show is a gathering at Juliet’s home of about 8-10 people in the living room discussing a Steven King book (Carrie), which every one keeps saying if Ben were here they would not be discussing this book. Juliet interjects that this is her favorite book, and Ben is not there, and “don’t we have a free will even though we are” – she gets cut off by rumblings, major ones, and shorter after, every one runs outside. The setting is a closely set suburban community, very very Big Fish ‘s little town called Spectra meets The Truman Show. Anyhoo, the rumblings were, of course, the Swan hatch timer counting down, setting off the magnetic anomaly  which shook the island and caused the plane crash. The first thing we see is Fenry, (the leader of the Other’s, posing as Henry Gale), come out of an adjacent home, along with several, (maybe 30 or so?) other well-dressed suburban looking people. (Aside- the man under Juliet’s house attempting to fix her plumbing emerges as none other than the notorious Ethan of the first season.) The “village people” look in the sky to see Flight 816 going down in the air above them, the tail section and fusel lodge breaking off. Ethan and Goodwin are called out by Henry, who remarks on the various locations each segment of the plane will likely have landed, telling them to go and live amongst them, make up a story, and get him “lists” in three days. They run off into the woods. Fenry looks at Juliet, inspects the book she has in her hand (Carrie), and says, “I guess I’m not in the book club anymore”. Looks like Fenry has a name, Ben, and a little background- the ex-relationship of Juliet? (Side note, I’m seeing the message boards calling him Benry!) 

Tonight’s the Third Season Premiere of my favorite (that might be an understatement) show LOST.

Before I post tonight on “Viv’s Quirky Recaps” -where I break down the episode into its major points and tell you in my own crazy words what I think – I think I need to do a better job explaining this show in general terms to those reading who may not know.

Why I like LOST:

The basic hook for me in the show is not the suspense, or the romance, or anything else but one major thing: the “what does it all mean?” factor.

I know so many people who love LOST with a simple, child-like faith that comes from plainly watching the majority of its Wednesday night episodes. I also know fans who go above and beyond the call of the general viewer; who have registered names in all of the frillion message boards dedicated to the show; who download the latest podcasts for insights into the plot; who know the newest clues to the interactive game; and who understand without any explanation what I mean when I say: “Fenry”, “Easter Eggs”, or the familiar goof question, “Did you see the logo on the shark?” I’m not really a LOST guru, but I do chuckle about these common inside jokes, and I do regularly login to the ABC message board forums to see if some one caught something I didn’t.

The nearly phenomenon status of the show might leave those who missed the boat wondering what the big deal is. Originally promoted as the story of several survivors of a crash on an international flight from Sydney to Los Angeles, the true intrigue began for most about the time that the invisible monster/dinosaur/smoke thing uprooted trees and slaughtered the pilot – that’s just the second episode.

From there the plot thickens, with detailed back stories of the main characters; haunting memories often containing eerie connections to other survivors own puzzling pasts. The discovery of underground hatches, among other island landmarks, creates an intense brainteaser involving the crash site. Then there is the fact that the island has more inhabitants than a big invisible monster – try a band of ruffians that kidnap, and kill, survivors, and who may just be extremist scientists in disguise.

As Lost takes on a slightly sci-fi tone in season two, the characters’ interwoven paths and the real-time mystery of the happenings of the island truly have a little something for everyone. There is the quintessential love triangle, tension between good guys and bad guys, and all the other tell tale markings of a great nightly drama. But perhaps what makes Lost so relatable to its audience is the colorful cast diverse enough that the viewer can identify with at least one character at all times, whether it’s the soldier, the doctor, the drug-lord slash priest, the hunter slash guru, the addict rock star, the single mom, the overweight mentally ill lottery winner, the foreign couple whose marriage is on the rocks, or the conman. LOST enthusiasts are just as varied; from pre-teens, to twenty-something techies, to middle aged teachers –even young moms like me! I suspect that it is precisely these one or two word labels that Lost intends to dispel, pulling back the curtains on the characters through back-stories and current events, revealing that humans are much more complex upon further investigation.

There are a series of threaded themes to Lost: fate, destiny, faith, guilt, survival, prejudice, healing, good verses evil, and the list continues, but wouldn’t be complete without the theme of being, well, lost. The characters aren’t simply “lost” physically, on a mysterious island that cannot be found on any map, they are also lost mentally, spiritually, or relationally. Many theories about the show’s design involve the idea that these characters must rectify their pasts in order to find resolution for their inner turmoil. But don’t bring up some of the many termed “noobie” theories –i.e. it’s all a dream, or worse, they are all in purgatory—without dealing with the proceeding Napolean-like, “GOSH!” that will ensue.  Producers have long since assured fans that there will be no cheat in the end, and perhaps all of the hypothesizing will not have been in vain.

So if you haven’t been watching lost, go rent the first and second season. Then you can catch up with the first six episodes of season three, airing as a mini-series, during the 12 week hiatus. Pick back up like a tride and true Lostaholic in March, when the next 18 episodes will play through, rerun free!

I will be up late tonight recapping the premier, title The Tale of Two Cities.

See you then!

Wrote Polk Voice article this week on the pro’s and con’s of fellow mommies; Girlville.

I used to think that becoming a mommy would eradicate my insecurities, and to some extent, it was true. When I was pregnant, or the mother of an infant, I felt like the entire world was opening the doors for me, smiling at my belly, and thinking, “How nice.”

It didn’t take long for me to realize that no deep inner flaws are ever going to be made beautiful by another human being, not even a baby.

Oh, I could tell you about my various and numerous embarrassing situations where I felt judgmental eyes all over me. Or the times when granny-so-and-so behind me in line felt the compulsive need to tell me how young I look or that I need to wash my baby sling better. But the real trouble maker in the scenario would be that little seven year old girl inside me who bites her tongue from saying back, “I’m the rubber, you’re the glue, what you say bounces off of me and sticks back to you!”

What a great line! It’s just that little damn girl has got to grow up or hit the road. She’s the little girl who wore her great mismatch outfit, (complete with striped shirt, polk-a-dot paints, and two different shoes), on the wrong day at school, and had to hold her head high the entire day until her dad came to get her from after-school care.

Just like the Vivian in that story, I wear my insecurities out in the open, dragging them behind me like gutted entrails, hoping no one minds the blood streaked across their clean white floor.

I’ve got to believe other people have felt this way sometimes, perhaps in puberty, or maybe in their early twenties? Or maybe just today.