Free Friday

I don’t know what to say right now except that I’m so totally exausted, yet euphorically, delusionally tired.

The thing is, I’m a mom. Like, a total mom. So with all this complete exaustion comes this reward, this blessing, that fills my heart with so much joy I have to just rant for a minute:

I love to press my nose against my son’s skull and sniff the smell of his hair. When I put his head in my hands, I can remember it coming out my la-la. When I put him to sleep, I secretly love that he stands up and wants to hold on to my neck for as long as his legs can stand it, how he just wants nothing more than to have that human contact. I love that he refused counterfeit mothers in the form of a plastic nipple or blanky or pacifier or thumb- if he needed comfort, I was there. He is nearly 15 months, a fact I absolutely cannot believe. But I am so so so happy that despite all our finanical struggles, I trusted my heart and stayed with my child rather than leaving home for a job. I can’t believe how much I wouldv’e missed, I can’t believe how crazy wonderful it is to hold him and spend hours each day putting him down, feeding him, cleaning up after him- it is a joy to give for him. My backaches, flabby boobs, sleepless nights, and crumb infested car scream, I CARE ABOUT MY CHILD! But in this society, a stay at home mom has a very hard time admitting all that. Why? Because when you rejoice in your own blessing, there is some one who might be jealous, even offended, or you might come off conceited or self-righteous. And it can become sort of suffercating, as if you have to make up reasons why staying at home with your kid isn’t all it is cracked up to be so that no one feels like they are missing out. It’s politically (socially?) incorrect to write an article about it, unless its for a very specific demographic. All the moms who were “forced” to work outside the home in order to provide a “life” for their kids will get their panties all a twaddle. Well, that’s all fine. We all have our version of reality and use it to provide our conscience some much needed therapy. I do it in different parts of my life, we all do it. What this post is about has nothing to do with any one else’s lot in life; I simply have too much joy in mothering at the moment to contain it any longer! I LOVE THE CHOICE TO STAY HOME! I HAVE TO COOLEST KID EVER! SOME ONE REJOICE WITH ME WITHOUT GETTING OFFENDED! YAY!

Like I said, I am a total mom. And it is SWEET! I don’t care who knows it! There is nothing to be ashamed of! In fact, if you read this and have anything to say or think but “AMEN!” then shut your pie-hole, cause darn it, I’m HAPPY!

Ok, that’s enough.

NO ITS NOT! MY KID IS SO COOL! YAY!

Ok, going for real. Bye.